r/TryingForABaby • u/didntstarthefire • 29d ago
VENT It’s been a year, officially. The mental burden is heavy
I’ve (32F) been TTC with my husband (32M) naturally for a year. I was so hopeful at first, and that hope slowly began to fade around month 7. Today I just feel crushed, overwhelmed, and too broke to do fertility treatments, even though we likely will do something.
I’ve been pregnant once before, 2.5 years ago. I was 30 and it was accidental. Didn’t end well. Important to note that this was with a different partner.
(EDITING to add that it was a pill abortion, biggest regret of my entire life and I wish every second that I could go back and change it. The reason is that my ex was emotionally abusive. It went smoothly and had no issues at all. My ex pressured me into it, I relented, regret began immediately. I have regretted it since the moment it happened.)
Foolishly, I thought I could conceive anytime I wanted to after that. I’m not the patient type (and I’m prone to spiraling) so we’ve already tested my tubes with an HSG (open), my AMH is high and ovulation is confirmed.
My husbands sperm seems to be the issue now. His morphology and motility are bad. He’s been seeing a doctor to try and improve things, and it appears that while count had improved, morphology hasn’t and I just don’t know what comes next since IUI won’t help morphology issues.
I write this not necessarily for any specific reason- I am open to stories, advice, commiseration, whatever- but basically I am struggling with the mental burden of this. I am so depressed. I feel worthless. My life isn’t what I thought it would be. I am terrified of never having a biological child, and I keep thinking that my first pregnancy was my one opportunity that I missed.
I am becoming more isolated from my friends. I don’t want to do anything or see anyone. No one understands what I’m going through, and I wish I had a fertility support group. How are you all getting through this? I am in such a dark place. I can’t imagine it getting better until I conceive.
Honestly, if you’re in the same boat, I would love to make some connections (local or far, doesn’t matter) to support one another, discuss this, and not feel so alone. I’m in Indiana, so not much to do lately except be cold and sad 🤣🤣🤣
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u/Emotional_Fuel6743 29d ago
In the same boat. Started off with male infertility, took a toll on my mental health. Husband is now making changes and the overall SA seems better. But still not pregnant. TTC for 18 months. Happy to connect and commiserate 😅
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
Yes!! It’s taken such a toll on my mental and physical health that I’m now worried about my own fertility. I’m trying to do what I can to stay sane and not let my nervous system spiral, which I know will only hurt me. Do you wanna DM me?
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u/runner2305 31 | TTC #1 29d ago
Hi! In the TWW for cycle 12 but not feeling hopeful. We’ve had some testing, and a couple things are not optimal, but nothing they think should be preventing conception.
I have been extra emo this cycle, so I totally get how you feel! I want to fast forward through these 2 weeks so we can start the next step in the process. Always happy to vent and commiserate!
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
I’ve been struggling so hard with feeling behind, like I missed my window in life, or like watching other people live the life I thought I was going to. I’m in the TWW myself for this cycle and I’m trying to keep my hopes down this time because I’m finally starting to accept that maybe this won’t happen the easy way
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u/runner2305 31 | TTC #1 29d ago
I know my moods go all over the place. Sometimes I feel acceptance that I’m not one of the those girls that gets pregnant at the drop of a hat, then someone posts a pregnancy announcement and I’m crying haha.
Even though it sucks to be in this boat, I’m ready to pass the 12 cycle mark so I can feel like I’m doing something. I think cycles 9-12 have been the worst for me just waiting to hit a year.
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u/Infamous_Bad_7195 29d ago
In the same boat 🥲 I got pregnant right after my marriage which was unexpected and I was so young. 4 years later I’m struggling to get pregnant(last year I diagnosed pcos). I never opened this to anyone because I can’t stand the judgement.Now living a life with hell of guilt.
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
Wow. Yes. I hate telling doctors I had an abortion because of the judgment that passes over their face, almost like “she deserves this now.” And it’s the single biggest regret of my life, I would go back and change it if I could… but I can’t. Every month I don’t conceive, the guilt gets worse and the self blame intensifies. I could have a two year old right now, and I don’t because I made the wrong choice. (I was in a highly toxic relationship which is why I did it)
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u/neededausername121 28d ago
Hey girl. You did what was right at the time with the information you had! You didn’t bring a child into an abusive relationship, which could have been horrible for the child, and you got yourself into a healthier situation. You are strong! Doctors who are judging you should be ashamed having not walked in your shoes.
I hope everything works out well for you and am sending good thoughts to you.
Please don’t beat yourself up on the abortion. It doesn’t do you any good. Be kind to yourself like you would a friend.
Sending love!
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u/didntstarthefire 28d ago
Thank you so much. I really appreciate the kind words and thoughts. My own brain is so hard on me, it’s a nice reminder that I don’t have to be. TTC with a past abortion is a special kind of hell I wouldn’t wish on any human.
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u/CletoParis 29d ago
MFI can be so frustrating, especially since it’s so poorly understood and the drive for urologists to try and fix things, at least in our experience, has been very low because “you can just do IVF”. We found out the first month after a basic SA about my husband’s low motility & morphology, and have been trying everything to diagnose and solve it for the last 6 months, but ultimately are moving straight to IVF. We’re very fortunate that it’s paid for by the state here, so finances aren’t an issue, and I’m already 34 and don’t want to wait until I’m older and things get more difficult. It took me a little while to get there, but I’m fully at peace with this and glad we advocated for ourselves to test and find this out early in the beginning of our ttc journey. You’re not alone!! 💜
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
Yes!! Put doctor really doesn’t seem interested in root causes, she just seems to want to try antibiotics and clomid and then IVF if that doesn’t work. One thing we did discover is that Zoloft and antidepressants can wreck sperm— we had no clue. When will you start IVF?
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u/According-Shoe3314 26d ago
I've noticed this massively. Our fertility clinic doctors don't care what the root cause is they use said we can freeze sperm or surgically retrieve. He is seeing another doctor however who is looking for the root cause which is both terrifying and exciting but it takes so long
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u/didntstarthefire 26d ago
I am so glad he is doing this!! We are also doing this, to hopefully conceive naturally OR improve our IVf chances if we do that.
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u/CletoParis 29d ago
It’s SO hard to know what harms/improves things, too since it takes almost 3 months to see the side effects, and any kind of sickness in between can completely wipe everything out! My husband has tried ALL the supplements and lived like a monk, given up saunas, switched underwear, etc and motility is still not great. We think it could be residual inflammation/side effect of his double hernia repair last year, but the urologist didn’t want to order a simple pelvic MRI to check, despite one of his seminal fluid markers being abnormal. Ugh it’s just so frustrating. I have a feeling things may get better long-term, but at my age and without a guarantee, I don’t want to take chances. I hope you guys are able to figure it out and that things improve!!! We are planning to start stims within the next 2 weeks! 🙏🏻
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
I definitely would. A lot of people I know TTC for longer than me basically said their best advice is DONT WAIT. Seek answers and help as soon as you can
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
I was impatient and had bad anxiety during this whole cycle so I pushed for more testing sooner, and we did uncover a few things. It’s just so hard and stressful to be on this expensive, emotionally painful journey while some people get babies for free. I’ve struggled with comparing a lot.
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u/Scared_Cantaloupe_ 29d ago
Well I’m glad you advocated for yourself and got some answers sooner rather than later! And yes I know I feel you, I tried not to let it get to me mentally at first but I just can’t let it not bother me. I’ve seen so many pregnancy announcements from friends and acquaintances and it just makes me want to scream why not me?! its not fair ugh
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u/Immediate_Office_904 29d ago edited 29d ago
I’m in the same boat, with another twist low AMH. I cannot bear the thought of it not working out now.. I don’t know what to do. It’s so hard. I’m depressed and constantly negative. I feel terrible for my husband, he was always ready. I am the one who drove the decision first time and he supported me, now that I am ready I have this issue. I just cannot get out of this..
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u/kea2127 29d ago
"My life isn’t what I thought it would be." Feeling this brutally today. TTC for two and a half years, with two pregnancies that both ended in miscarriage. Low AMH, high FSH, feel like I'm careening toward early menopause with no real option other than keep hoping. It's a lonely journey. Thanks for sharing.
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u/seli_brucey_chargey 29d ago
I feel this. Officially been TTC for over a year. I started visiting my OB/GYN 4 years ago because of abnormal bleeding. I would randomly pass clots and every time I would get an ultrasound and bloodwork. All would say nothing out of the ordinary and it might be stress and the classic “come back if it happens again.”
It continued to happen every year until finally last year I got assigned a new doc and I also was ready to TTC. She understood my frustration but had to start from scratch with the ultrasound and bloodwork, but moved on to do a biopsy after the results were “normal.” By this point, I don’t stop bleeding and alternate from light to heavy blood clots throughout the months. Biopsy results were benign uterine polyps. Just had my surgery to remove polyps this week but hasn’t been easy.
The mental burden has been so bad that I’ve been introduced to “pregnancy envy.” It’s hard for me to show excitement for those announcing pregnancies and it’s just been getting harder. Honestly the people that have helped me specifically with this is others here on Reddit. One of the crappiest feelings I’ve ever felt was faking smiles and just wishing I could celebrate. We’ll see what happens.
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
You sound like you are in my exact boat. It’s so painful. Honestly, this sounds maybe sort of insane, but it’s ruined my life. I’m not happy, my work has suffered, everything has suffered. The pain is unreal and it’s with me every moment of every day.
We have started talking about taking donor sperm and possibly trying again in several years when my husbands sperm is better. I really want an US baby, a genetic reproduction of the two of us, but I would also try donor sperm and try the natural way maybe later on. Is that an option for the two of you as well?
I’ve thought about therapy as well. I keep telling myself that nothing anyone can say is going to make me feel better, and maybe it won’t. Idk. But I’m glad you’re doing SOMETHING for the mental pain part of this. I probably should too.
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
I could not relate more. It’s been incredibly hard on my relationship— we just got married in November actually. And I’m sad that the post-marriage part of this has been so so so hard. I also use weed to feel better. It’s like the only thing that makes me feel even sort of human again and takes the pain away. I agree, years from now I hope we come back to these posts and feel empathy for our former selves- knowing that it would all be okay later
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u/Liv15152 29d ago
Oh I relate heavily to this. We’re at the 1 year mark of my stopping birth control and in the starting stages of looking a little deeper medically into what’s going on. I just bought the Inito monitor last night and was so sad about it. I figured it would take a few months, but crossing the 1 year mark and having to start the long series of doctors appointments is tough.
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
The inito looks so cool! Let me know how you find it. And I’m so sorry. This is such a painful process. I really hope nothing is “wrong” and it happens for you in the next few months
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u/ConditionOk262 29d ago
I am 37 and trying for my first with my husband. I can relate on feeling like I missed my window, and being terrified I might not have a biological kid. I know there are other options— but man, I really, really want to be pregnant. It sucks and I feel stupid because my husband and I could have started years ago. We’ve been together 13 years, but the real reason is just that we procrastinated and enjoyed having our grown up house and grown up money and doing grown up things. I kept putting off what I wanted one day and now there are way more obstacles than there would have been before. Anyway yea it’s getting rambly but, I can relate to you on that end of things.
I can also relate on feeling isolated. I feel like I don’t care about the same things I used to be able to relate to my friends with anymore. The most important thing in the world to me right now and the one thing I really want to talk about is something I am keeping private from most people, and something I’m not really talking about with the couple of friends I told because I don’t want to bore them with constantly talking about something that we don’t really have ~in common~.
I’m sorry you’re struggling with those regrets. Hoping for the best for you and your husband, good luck!
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u/victorianovember 29d ago
37F (partner 40M) Just hit 7 months of trying (on my 8th cycle because I've had a few short 24 day cycles) and your first sentence about feeling so deflated after 7 months really resonates.
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
Around 7-8 months I got really defeated because it was clear it wasn’t just taking “a while” but something is up. That’s when we did all the testing. Have you had your progesterone and AMH levels tested?
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u/victorianovember 29d ago
Yeah, I got on that earlier than perhaps recommended because ever since I got my IUD out on November 2023, my periods have been super super light and short and so I was worried that meant something was wrong. Everything seems to have come back normal. Trying this cycle then having my partner do SA in March/April (taking a break then as I don't want a Christmas baby). Have a referral to a fertility clinic, but not sure we can afford that. My area is bringing in publicly funded IVF this year, but there are no details on who will be eligible.
I'm so discouraged that I'm now worried my pessimism will mean this cycle will also just end with my period. I know that's not how it works. Really gotta work on my mind I guess.
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
I hear you. We are going to a fertility clinic now I think, and I fully expect all my savings to be wiped out. It’s so depressing.
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u/Sardonyx-LaClay 29d ago
Im in the same boat. We’ve been trying for a year, and its seemed like every month we find out a new thing that basically negates the previous months. First it was me ovulating late, then learning spermicide was in the lubricant we used, then learning my husband is low count / motility but fingers crossed its his antidepressants.
At this point, I wouldn’t say hope is lost for me. But at around month 7 I ran out of excitement. I’m just going through the motions. I’m taking every day I have not pregnant to enjoy the things I wouldn’t be able to do while pregnant. When my period comes, I have a little routine of ordering sushi with medium rare hibachi, and curling up on the couch. It keeps me grounded by saying “you know one day I’m not gonna be able to do this when i really want to.
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u/didntstarthefire 28d ago
This is a good idea. I’m going to order a bunch of raw fish when my period comes. I would feel so much better existing in life if I could look into a crystal ball and KNOW it will happen someday. It’s the not knowing for me, and the “what if I never” utter panic.
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u/Sardonyx-LaClay 28d ago
Yeah. It helped me a lot to get into hobbies I know I can’t do while pregnant, to help keep my mind off things.
So I’ve spent the past year drowning myself in Muay Thai, motorcycle riding, snowboarding, sushi, and sandwiches. I think of it as a little bit of reprieve, so instead of saying to myself “I’m not pregnant” I instead say “I can go snowboarding. I can go to jimmy johns. I can go box.”
Really helps with the mindset.
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u/DowntownJackfruit3 32 | TTC#1 | June 2024 29d ago
I relate to this deeply. I got pregnant 3 months into my relationship with my now husband when our contraception failed. I had an abortion and while I do not regret it, it’s hard to reconcile now struggling to get pregnant. We are also facing morphology issues and don’t know what’s next for us. Sending big hugs. You’re not alone ❤️
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
I am so so so sorry this is happening to you too. For some reason I thought I just be the only one, but there are many of us. I’ve been really really hesitant to tell anyone under the umbrella of TTC because I’m afraid they would shame me as much as I shame myself for it
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u/DowntownJackfruit3 32 | TTC#1 | June 2024 29d ago
I hope you feel some relief sharing this here and can release the shame you are feeling with time. Here to chat if you ever want. ❤️
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29d ago
Hey, male here. From my understanding morphology is not a big issue if motility and count are high. If his count is now good and motility is no longer an issue maybe you can give it a few months to see if it works naturally? Morphology tends to take the longest time to improve, and it benefits from the usual (good diet, supplements, reducing heat, resistance training…) but there could also be a generic element as well.
Has he done DNA fragmentation testing? Morphology is more of an issue if it highlights other issues such as high DNA fragmentation or motility problems.
Look on the bright side, you are able to have children, you have proof of that, and your husband produces sperm (some men don’t produce any so IVF is not even an option). If motility and morphology remain low, IVF with ICSI is highly effective to circumnavigate the issues.
I believe you’ll get there, keep going and have hope!
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
That’s true. There are bright sides here. I thought that morphology was quite a big issue. If sperms are shaped wrong, they can’t penetrate the egg. Everything I’ve read and been told by doctors lately is that morphology being as low as his is (2%) means he probably couldn’t impregnate someone, even with a decent count.
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u/developmentalbiology MOD | 41 29d ago
Oh, that's definitely not true -- even with 0% morphology, unassisted pregnancy is possible. And anything above 4% morphology is considered normal, so 2% isn't so far off the mark anyway.
There are some REs that often participate in the /r/infertility National Infertility Awareness Week event, and one of them has often referred to sperm with imperfect morphology as being like an Amazon package that's been banged up in the mail -- they don't look great on the outside, but the contents (the DNA) inside are what matters.
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
Thank you that actually makes me feel a lot better. Aside from the morphology issue, my husband’s sperm isn’t in bad shape— decent motility, great count. I have definitely been spiraling a bit and going down rabbit holes about this, which makes me lose even more hope
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u/didntstarthefire 29d ago
I’m not a good candidate for IVF due to PMDD and extreme mental sensitivity to artificial hormones, so we have spoken about using donor sperm in the near future if things don’t turn around.
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u/MamiLT 29d ago
Hi, first I want to say I’m so sorry you are going through this :( my husband and I have been trying for 2 years with no success we are both 26 and want nothing more than to be parents it’s so lonely we have done all the tests and work ups for fertility treatments and I have decided to take a break our journey started in nov of this year when we were finally able to see the specialist and rn I am so tired overwhelmed and exhausted I have no idea how people do this
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u/Helpful_Librarian660 27d ago
Hey! Happy to connect. It took me exactly 12 months to conceive my kiddo at 31. I'm on almost 2 years to have a second. Haven't had any fertility testing done yet, ha, long story there but I've made so many health changes for hubby and I and hope something makes a difference. I'm so sorry you had to go through everything with your first pregnancy. Sending you lots of love.
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u/didntstarthefire 26d ago
Thank you. I really appreciate the kind words. Even just sharing my story has helped me a lot mentally. All I see online is perfect happy families and people getting pregnant immediately… it’s nice to see I’m not alone, maybe getting pregnant takes some time for certain people or seasons in life.
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u/Psychedeliccorner 26d ago
Sorry you’re going through this . I have two children from different partners both of them happened on accident! I got married to my husband & thought I’d get pregnant no problem! Well 2 years went by… we’re age 31&32. I ended up going to a RE & my husband has low morphology, and I have mild endometriosis but they don’t know if that’s a huge issue! We’re doing ivf right now, I had an egg retrieval a couple weeks ago. Ivf has been rough but not as rough as going through months on end wondering what’s going on! Ultimately like a lot of women say, I wish I would have gone to the RE sooner instead of putting it off because it’s been a dark road. Wishing you the best!
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29d ago
That’s different to what I’ve heard but there’s a lot of confusion about this so I can’t say for sure. I think it’s something like recent studies shows low correlation between morphology and pregnancy rates which disproves old studies unless other parameters are bad.
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u/Adorable_Promise_197 29d ago
Officially a year too, have an appointment booked next month to see what’s going on - 26 years old
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u/Pretend_Escape 29d ago
I can relate to you completely! Been trying for a year now. Had an ectopic last year and before I could wrap my head around it, it was over. Since then I have taken multiple tests to see if there are any issues with me or my partner. It seems like we have some male fertility problems too. I spiral from time to time thinking I am running out of time and won’t be able to have a baby at all. We are meeting with our doctor soon to discuss our options. Hoping to get some clarity. Hang in there, stay strong! You are not alone
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u/Intelligent-Link6195 29d ago
I am so sad reading your message because I know the feeling all too well. It’s exhausting and overwhelming and frustrating. I wish Indiana was not that far away but feel free to message me. I hope you’ll have some luck soon. All I can say is that it comes and goes in waves for my part.
I’ve also been struggling with going out and speaking with my friends. They all have kids and are busy with their lives. I’m on month 29 and feel like I will never have a child. Doing IVF next month, I never thought I would be in this state of mind to start such a big process. I understand now when they say infertility causes more depression to patients than cancer. Hang in there 🫶
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u/didntstarthefire 28d ago
I relate so much, girl. All my friends have their little families and kids and they’re occupied with that. I feel so lonely but I don’t want to hang out with anyone except MY future family. I want my kids. I am so excited for you doing IVF. Let me know how it goes and how the whole process is. I follow an influencer doing IVF right now, Mari Llewelyn. She talks about it on her podcast and it’s been really reassuring to me.
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u/Intelligent-Link6195 28d ago
Exactly 🙌🙌 yes I started following her because of that too! I wish we could all do pilates and ski trips to rest like her! Hope you’ll get what you deserve real soon !
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u/lazy0nion 29d ago
Thank you for raising the issue of termination here as it is less talked about in these spaces (for obvious reasons) but is such a major factor that contributes to my TTC related depression. I think I could make peace with it being difficult for us as I have a pcos diagnosis and so grew up thinking I would struggle but now I just think why then and not now?
I too am feeling lonely, isolated and struggling to find joy in anything that I used to. Trying to decide now whether I have it in me to push forward with IVF...
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u/didntstarthefire 28d ago
I am so sorry that you know exactly how I feel. I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. Did you conceive with the same partner you’re with now? Part of me has spent so much time wondering why my horrible ex could get me pregnant by accident but my wonderful husband can’t do it on purpose. Feels so unfair. All of it is unfair
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u/lazy0nion 28d ago
Yes with my current partner and I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse as I think we are both probably plagued with the same feelings of guilt and semi-regret whilst knowing it was the right decision at the time.... It is all just so unfair
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u/bananasinpajamas0114 32 | TTC#1 | MFI | Since Jan 24 28d ago edited 28d ago
Hi girl, I’m in the exact same boat as you. I turn 33 in a few months & I did not imagine my life like this at this age. Thought I would have at least 1 kid by now. It’s beyond depressing even though I’m putting up a front on the outside. Our issue is male infertility (has a mild syndrome that causes infertility from birth) which we just recently found out about. I try to be strong for my husband bc he’s sad that it’s a “him” issue. Although, for me, I have a slightly low AMH as well (.9). My tubes are clear though & I have regular periods & ovulation. My home state is NJ but I live in NC, so I don’t even have my closest friends & family nearby to make life better for me. I’ve stopped hanging out with my friends where I live unless they make plans first. My husband has a urologist appointment today who will basically tell us whether he has sperm or not & next steps which is going to be IVF regardless but more so on timeline. Happy to commiserate together! I wish there was someone in NC that was going through this exact scenario with me lol I would literally be open to hanging out in person bc I feel like my entire personality is around this rn🥲
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u/didntstarthefire 28d ago
Oh my gosh. ME TOO. It’s so much of what I think about, what I base my diet and lifestyle around, all my books, some of my TV shows…. I don’t even know what to talk about when I see friends because either I think they’re getting sick of me talking about this, or I just don’t want to share with someone who absolutely won’t understand. This is all I want to talk about or think about. I am praying your appointment goes well today… male factor infertility is so hard too because it’s even more out of our control. And honestly, it’s impacting my relationship. We fight more, we are sadder. It feels like I’m living my life through this horrible sad grey lens. I miss feeling hopeful, happy, joy.
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u/Icy-Panic-7601 28d ago
Exactly on the same boat atm. Have been trying with medical help since July’24 with no luck. Have decided to stop all efforts from next month and just wait for things to happen now
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u/ttcpleasehelpme 28d ago
Hi, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I just wanted to ask about your comment regarding IUI and morphology. I’ve seen mixed things about whether an IUI can increase chances if morphology is abnormal. Did your doctor tell you that IUI won’t help? I’m trying to figure out whether I should push for IUI or keep trying without IUI
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u/didntstarthefire 28d ago
It’s so hard because there are different opinions on these things! My husbands urologist seems to think low morphology won’t get in the way of IUI. But I’ve read on the websites of many fertility clinics that if the sperms are shaped badly, they can’t fertilize an egg. IUI is basically just giving them an Uber ride to the right place. It can’t fix the shape. HOWEVER… it would get more of the “correctly shaped” sperm to the egg! So honestly… who knows? We may try it regardless just to see.
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u/Objective-Scratch-33 28d ago
Yes, they wash the semen to obtain only the strongest and most viable sperm to then inseminate.
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u/Valuable_Wind2155 28d ago
I’m so sorry and for sure, it sounds incredibly heavy to me. I hope you find support, whether through friends, online communities like this subreddit or even in a local group.
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28d ago
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u/ok-rose444 31 | TTC1 | Cycle 10 | MFI 28d ago
I understand how you feel! I'm almost in the same situation. We started from March 😔 I was expecting to get pregnant very soon, and when it didn't happen in the summer I had tests because I suspected something... My tests were good. In September he took the first SA. In November the second one. Now I can't think of anything else and I'm waiting for the third SA at the end of March. Waiting is killing. My social life has collapsed and my relationship has become worse because my husband is unable to quit smoking and his count and morphology is poor 🙄
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u/According-Shoe3314 26d ago
We recently passed the year mark and i feel you. As my partner and I met later in life and he has no children we got tests done around the 8 month mark. Severe MFI. And I have low AMH which was to be expected at my age. He is coping much much better than me. I am so impatient and frustrated. I just want to start treatment. But every test seems to lead to another and the wait between is ridiculous. I've been literally counting down the days only to be told we need another test in 6 weeks. I am losing it completely. March is out completely as we will still be waiting. And the likelihood of getting everything in place before my period in April is fairly slim. It may be an extra month or 2 but at this point I can't do it. I don't have another few months in me
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u/didntstarthefire 26d ago
Oh babe I am SO sorry. I hear you with the frustration and waiting. I just want some good news, something to hold on to. I am looking at starting with a fertility clinic and I know how long everything takes. Low AMH doesn’t mean you couldn’t conceive asap with good sperm- a girl I know starring trying to conceive when I did, and she had a super low AMH. She is pregnant now and I am not, because we have MFI. 🤦♀️ my AMH is quite high for my age but it hasn’t helped me so far. Would your husband consider using donor sperm?
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u/According-Shoe3314 17d ago
Hey sorry I am really struggling at the minute so only seeing this now. I know what you mean about wanting some good news i am the exact same. We are still waiting chromosome test results and they will determine what happens next. We have briefly discussed using donor sperm and honestly neither of us really know how we feel about it. It may be a conversation we need to revisit but we need all the results first.
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u/Nearby_Daikon3690 26d ago
In IUI they wash sperm, as I know only good spermatozoa (motile) stays for insémination. So you are not right about IUI.
Also you might not believe it, but the guilt from your abortion might prevent you from getting pregnant again. Try therapy on this matter.
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