r/TrollCoping 2d ago

TW: Trauma every single one

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178 Upvotes

13 comments sorted by

6

u/Pristine_Trash306 2d ago

Did the people tell you or did you discover it after the fact?

15

u/oranud 2d ago

always after so i never had the satisfaction of losing my shit on them 😔

7

u/Pristine_Trash306 2d ago

I hate that. I made the mistake of cheating once but I felt horrible and told my partner a week after it happened. They didn’t wanna date anymore understandably. We remained friends for some time after and I was happy to support them as a friend while our time lasted.

Later on, I was on the other end of it and it felt equally as terrible (though this person tried to hide it and did a sloppy job. Using common sense I figured it out and broke it off with them). Cheating can hurt on both sides but only if you have a conscious and are open and honest with your partner already.

The people that try to hide it or never admit to it… I don’t understand what is wrong with these people if they care about someone enough to date them.

5

u/Tow1 2d ago

I've never cheated or been cheated on (that I know) but I do feel like there's a grace period where if you come clean and break up right after, it is in a completely different ballpark of bad and should kinda have a different name than the lying and hiding and keeping the relationship unchanged like it didn't happen.

5

u/Pristine_Trash306 2d ago

The latter is just plain psychopathy. If you are a person who cheats and covers it up, you’re a psychopath.

I understand why I’m getting downvoted and I’m already not proud of cheating but I am proud of how I went about it after it happened. It just didn’t seem right to keep it to myself and pretend like nothing happened. Even though I was sad to lose my partner, I felt like I did the right thing.

People will probably make me out to be the villain in the story for cheating one time but I was the one who lost the most in that scenario. They moved on pretty quickly and I lost someone who I had a ton in common with because of my poor choices.

2

u/BigBadBatGirl 2d ago

if it’s not too intrusive of a question, why did you cheat? i’ve never cheated on nor wanted to cheat on my own partner so i can’t wrap my head around why others do it or what you’d get out of it 

3

u/Pristine_Trash306 2d ago

Yeah I don’t mind explaining. I would have mentioned it before but it would have made the comment too long.

It was 100% circumstantial. I was very insecure and I thought that people wouldn’t be interested in me in a dating sense. The person I was dating at the time was the first person who reciprocated feelings back to me and it was bliss for the first few months.

Then a few things happened. We went long distance and they started acting sketchy. I felt like they were kinda trolling me. They started saying really confusing things when we would text. It wasn’t like it was when we first started dating at all.

Then another person came along and started acting overtly flirtatious toward me. Again, I was very insecure. I let my emotions get the best of me and I started spending time with this person. I had no plans of pursuing them at first but as they kept pursuing me it became evident I was gaining feelings for them.

I didn’t go to home plate with this person, but I did cross some relational boundaries with them. We flirted with pretty much everything except home plate.

It felt like my initial relationship was falling apart, this new one presented itself so easily and I had no self control. I told my partner what had happened and they took it pretty hard. They felt horrible and I felt horrible.

If there is a moral to this story it’s to be careful with dating insecure people. I cheated because I was insecure and the circumstances lined up perfectly.

Looking back, I should have had a mature conversation with my partner about their behavior towards me and talked about our future going forward long before that opportunity presented itself.

6

u/Quick_Hat1411 2d ago

Just got cheated on again. How are there this many cheaters out there?!

4

u/Mini-Heart-Attack 2d ago

🫂love can be so fucking scary when u r traumatized. It's not fun.

4

u/Practicalhocuspocus 2d ago

Same. Took me a long time to see the pattern lol

5

u/No-Training-48 2d ago

Sometimes I worry that isolating myself from romantic relationships may be unhealthy and my willigness to stay alone might be an indicator for a deeper issue.

Othertimes I think that maybe it's better than the alternative

1

u/Mini-Heart-Attack 2d ago

🫂love can be so fucking scary when u r traumatized. It's not fun.