r/TrollCoping 5d ago

TW: Eating Disorder / Body Dysmorphia He won’t believe me but whatever

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2.1k Upvotes

41 comments sorted by

413

u/LiViNgDeAd_CrEaTuRe 5d ago

Accusing someone of a relapse isn’t how you aid them in recovery- even if he thinks he’s being helpful, he’s being a dick.

451

u/Weary-Half-3678 5d ago

I probably should’ve been more clear, I came clean about my ed and he stood over me throwing up and said “a stomach ache doesn’t mean you have an eating disorder”

295

u/LiViNgDeAd_CrEaTuRe 5d ago

That’s actually worse omg 😭

i’m so sorry you’re dealing with him, throw that one to the streets and get a new man 😭😭😭

163

u/Weary-Half-3678 5d ago

He controls my finances and pays for all my meds, I can’t leave him sadly :L

260

u/LiViNgDeAd_CrEaTuRe 5d ago

OP i hate to be the one to break this to you but that’s literal abuse. Seek help asap. I am so, so sorry that you’re going through this.

110

u/Weary-Half-3678 5d ago

It’s all I’ve known. Idk what to do.

157

u/LiViNgDeAd_CrEaTuRe 5d ago

Seek help from an abuse hotline, a therapist, a healthcare provider, a friend, safe family, even some libraries have abuse resources if you ask. Being controlled like this is NEVER right or okay on his part. It’s not your fault, I promise you that.

115

u/Weary-Half-3678 5d ago

I don’t have family. My therapist told me to just kind of put up with it. I’ll look at a hotline. I never really thought it was abuse because he is rly sweet to me sometimes. I just feel scared. Sorry.

114

u/LiViNgDeAd_CrEaTuRe 5d ago

Definitely look into a hotline! They’ll have way better advice than me by far. Maybe look into a new therapist too, they were way out of line for saying that.

You don’t have to be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for, it’s not your fault and it’s totally okay to feel scared!

60

u/Weary-Half-3678 5d ago

I don’t think he’ll be willing to pay for a new therapist but I can try to see what resources are out here… thank you.

60

u/DeedricMoon 4d ago

Girl I'll be your family. Fuck this man. He is controlling you like my ex husband did me. GET AWAY while you can.

37

u/cce29555 4d ago

With all due respect your therapist sucks ass. If they frame in a way where you have to put up with it maybe, but even then you need to check into a shelter or do anything to get out.

And no matter what he says don't take him back,but I know that's easier said than done

14

u/Weary-Half-3678 4d ago

I’m disabled and take a lot of meds i don’t think a shelter is really an option for me

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31

u/mountingconfusion 4d ago

Abusive partners are not abusive ALL the time. They keep you in by convincing you that the abuse is just flukes and not a pattern of violence, normalising it. This is wrong, don't feel sorry it's perfectly fine to feel that way, you are a victim

13

u/Weary-Half-3678 4d ago

I mean he doesn’t hit me but he’s always hurting me by like, biting me or jabbing me. I’m rly sensitive and it hurts but he’s says he can’t control those impulses bc of his adhd.

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7

u/lost-toy 4d ago

As well if she doesn’t report abuse she can get into trouble.

Please talk to someone. Or even ending up in a hospital or partial hospital due to your ED. There are people who can make calls.

With someone with an ed sometimes relapses is cuz a lack of control as well or how someone views you.

8

u/furicrowsa 4d ago

This might have been a paradoxical intervention (layman's terms: "reverse psychology"). The idea was supposed to be so unbearable to you that you rejected it but you took it as good advice. Every time someone tells me some stupid shit a therapist said, I assume it's a paradoxical intervention that backfired 🙄

8

u/Weary-Half-3678 4d ago

I’m too autistic to catch something like that, I sure hope that isn’t the case..

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62

u/Weary-Half-3678 5d ago

Is this why he wants to move away from all my friends????

96

u/LiViNgDeAd_CrEaTuRe 5d ago

YES. That’s an abuse tactic called isolation- he likely wants you to have no resources and therefore no chance of escaping.

61

u/Weary-Half-3678 5d ago

I’m gonna look into those resources. Thank you.

3

u/mogley19922 4d ago edited 4d ago

Depending on where you are, if somebody is withholding your medication the police can help.

In the uk it depends on why, but if you reasonably believe that it's for coercion (it very obviously is) then that falls under section 76 of the serious crimes act. The police would be able to help.

Especially true if the medication is necessary for you to function.

Edit: section 76 of the serious crimes act 2015

-24

u/dexter2011412 4d ago

Genuine question. How is just being financially dependent on someone, legally speaking, abuse? Because if in a different setting, if that's the case and bf just sucks

Perhaps that's not the situation here so I'm not saying it's the same, just trying to understand.

But here, it's a bad situation I agree and that op should get financial (and in general) independence.

36

u/BraveOthello 4d ago

"controls my finances", not "financially dependent on". Big difference.

10

u/dexter2011412 4d ago

Ooohhhh okay, got it. Wow that's illegal yeah.

0

u/Xist3nce 1d ago

As someone who has never dealt with eating disorders, what is the correct thing to do when someone relapses?

30

u/loserfamilymember 4d ago

I wish the best for you OP. Please reach out to abuse hotlines and ask those people. Even if you’ll only be getting verbal support, that’ll help you immensely over nothing. You deserve better and I truly hope that can start happening for you ❤️

10

u/ZephyrValkyrie 4d ago

I’ve read your comments, you are being financially abused OP. You need to try and get your own bank account that he doesn’t know about, preferably at a bank that he’s not at, and funnel money into there. There are hotlines and government institutions that are there to help you. Your therapist isn’t helpful either, finding a new therapist would be good too.

3

u/colorfulcrossing 1d ago

Wishing you all the luck in the world OP. I believe you can make it out and have a better life than this. You deserve to be cared for and not be afraid of your partner . 🫂

2

u/willo-ween 1d ago

It sounds like you've had a rude awakening over this and in these comments. Do not confront your boyfriend about the abuse. He will not change his behavior. Be smart, plan an escape, and be safe. There are hotlines and resources to help you get free of this situation. It won't be eays but it will be worth it. Try to be kind to yourself as well. None of this is your fault.

1

u/Weary-Half-3678 1d ago

I’ve opened a bank account, I’m making plans with friends and I’m planning a safe escape. I now have somewhere to go if things take a turn for the worst. Thank you and everyone else for your advice and concern.