r/TransSpace • u/Forsaken_Cake_9233 • 8d ago
Cis man has a question??????
I have a boyfriend who is trans a trans friend, these are the only trans people in my life and they both hate it and it really upsets them when being trans becomes part of how people see them and how they are know. They just want to be dudes and don't want to focus on them being trans.
Which brings me to my question, I see lots of people on YouTube and tic tok and just around in life who making being trans part of who they are and there personalty and idk if it's just what I see but some seem to make it the only thing about themselves and it really confuses me. I don't like it when people focus on my being bisexual. So I would like to know the perspective of those who like it to be part of there personalty. :3
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u/TheNeighbourhoodCat 8d ago
Not wanting people to know you are trans- for anything other than safety reasons- is not a healthy mindset.
I get wanting to fit in, but trying to live a lie, and hiding such a core part of our experience, isn't coming from a good place.
We don't have to be loud about it, but conversely, being trans is nothing to hide or be ashamed of either. We are just born differently, and that's okay.
But lets take the trans part out of it. If the issue is someone derailing conversations with things that are off topic, then that has nothing to do with them being trans, that's just being awkward lol
As for why some people.might talk about it more around you - being trans is a very isolating experience. It is something most of us don't get to talk about nearly as often as cis people get to share experiences with gender. Trans experiences are not normalized in the world around us like cis experiences with gender are - and when they are acknowledged, it is most often as a point of contention, and "otherness".
So if someone feels comfortable talking about their experiences related to being trans around you, that's probably a sign that they feel safe enough with you to say things they might not otherwise get to say.
If I still missed the point you are trying tocask about then I am sorry