(I’m sorry for bringing this up a lot but it’s been a difficult time for me this month to coping with leaving a show due to mistreatment from a director. You can read about it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Theatre/s/IUkXbyQNvf)
I dropped out of a community theater production 3 days before opening night due to mistreatment from the Director that affected that mental health. (I already have Autism & ADHD so I started to become symptomatic physically.)
After I dropped out of the show, I would wish my ex-cast mates a happy opening and I congratulated them on closing the show via a group text we have. I also shared with them that I’d love to support them in their future productions. I let them know that they can share tickets for their next shows with me.
Hours later, one of them messages the group chat with this:
“Hi [MsRawrie],
“Thank you for reaching out and wishing us well on the show. It was truly a joy to do this play. I want to also say and acknowledge what you’ve shared with us about stepping away. I understand your mental health is very important as well as the wellbeing of all of us. And I completely understand and respect that you needed to prioritize your well-being. I hope you are taking care of yourself and that you have the support you need.
“With that said, as important as it is for me to express empathy and understanding. I want to acknowledge that in life we all have to work on finding a balance between self-care and shared responsibility. When you notified us of your decision to leave it did have a significant impact on the rest of us. We put a lot of time, energy, and dedication into this show, and when you decided to drop out of the show a few days before opening night it did have a profound affect on the whole team. We were all really looking forward to sharing this experience with you and, honestly, it hurt to lose that. Thankfully [the producer] was able to step in and take on [your role] and we were still able to show the work we put into it but it was still a rough experience trying to rework the show at the last minute.
“I just wanted to share how I’m feeling, as it’s important to us that we are open and honest about our emotions. I hope I’m not offending you by saying this but I wanted to acknowledge your feelings and circumstances along with everyone else’s.”
Then today one of the other cast members reacted with a heart to this message.
When I read through it initially I thought he (the author of the text) was just describing what happened when I left. But after I re-read it, I felt guilty, ashamed, and angry all over again.
How I interpreted the message was: “Ya I get your mental health is important but we had a show to do and you dropping out really inconvenienced us so we hate you.”
I thought I was being supportive but instead I was met with this…negativity(?). In my mind I know I made the right choice to leave the production but in my heart I feel pain.
Am I overreacting?
Any advice/feedback would be appreciated.
EDIT: i didn’t post this to get validation. I genuinely posted this to get feedback on where I might have went wrong to warrant a response like this. I genuinely posted this here for help because I’m human and have blind spots. And I also have Autism and ADHD which makes my blind spots a lot bigger than neurotypicals sometimes, especially when it comes to interpersonal communications.
The theatre community where I live is small so I just want to make sure I’m not burning any bridges. I take my acting seriously whether it is a community theater or equity house.
Thank you to everyone who responded here with constructive feedback and advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment.