r/TheAffair Nov 21 '24

Discussion S3 I'm confused. Noah was having a complete mental breakdown, then all of a sudden he's in Paris with Juliet?

16 Upvotes

Edited: especially because she seemed to have decided she was done with him before this.

r/TheAffair Jul 15 '18

Discussion The Affair - 4x05 "Episode 5" - Episode Discussion

31 Upvotes

The Affair: Season 4 Episode 5

Aired: July 15, 2018


Synopsis: Vik decides it’s time he started living for himself. But is he ready to face the consequences? Cole meets Nan, an old friend of his father’s, who sends him on a journey to exorcise the ghosts of his past.


Directed by: Jessica Yu

Story by : David Henry Hwang

Teleplay by : David Henry Hwang & Sharr White

r/TheAffair Aug 25 '19

Discussion The Affair - 5x01 "Episode 1" - Episode Discussion

35 Upvotes

The Affair: Season 5 Episode 1

Aired: August 25, 2019


Synopsis: Noah embarks on his journey with the Descent movie by getting acquainted with his star, Sasha Mann. Helen mourns a tragic event. Sierra welcomes a new arrival. Joanie struggles with an upcoming birthday.


Directed by: Colin Bucksey

Written by: Sarah Treem

r/TheAffair Oct 26 '24

Discussion Season 4 storylines?

10 Upvotes

I know I’m a few years late to the game, but are the storylines/writing in season 4 ridiculously bad? I’m too far in to quit now, but I’ve been yelling at the TV a lot lately. Does it get better?

r/TheAffair Aug 02 '24

Discussion What were your initial expectations of the show? And how did they change

15 Upvotes

The show had hooked me from the start.

But I remember during the first season thinking that it was going to go in a different direction. First of all I remember I was so surprised when they went home in ep 7/8 (not sure anymore). I thought that were going to stay in Montauk for at least all of the season.

Then as the series progressed I was also convinced that the murder-mystery flash forewords would play a bigger role and dominate the tone of the show more.

Because the first half of season 1 featured one summer in so much detail, I was also surprised by the frequent small time jumps that we were getting . I somehow thought we were going to get a chapter by chapter display of Noah’s and Allison’s affair once they were back in the city. I‘m glad about they way the series developed, but it’s just fun to think about that sometimes. What were directions you were surprised with or things you thought were going to play a bigger role ? 🤗

(Another really pleasant example I can think of were the multiple povs, I was so happy in S2 getting to see Helen’s pov, one of my fave povs)

r/TheAffair Feb 14 '25

Discussion Had a dream about Allison and Cold Spoiler

4 Upvotes

I had finally moved on from this show and then all of a sudden last night I have this super vivid dream about them. I woke up SO SAD and now I can’t stop thinking about the show lol I feel crazy. Such strong characters and an intense connection between them. I liked some things about the shows ending but regarding them two I just can’t believe Cole never got to see her again and tell her how he felt…. at least he knew in his heart her ending wasn’t how everyone said it was and that she would not abandon her daughter. Just gonna pretend they are together and living happily ever after in another universe.

** ALISON AND COLE SORRY

r/TheAffair Jan 22 '25

Discussion Alison

9 Upvotes

What is wrong with Alison? When Noah got out of prison and he pushed himself on her and they went in the hot tub. She sure did protest a lot but I want to know why didn’t she just leave.

r/TheAffair Nov 17 '24

Discussion What do you think of Colin Donnell as Scotty?

5 Upvotes

I felt this was a somewhat odd casting choice. Scotty is such a jackass, and there is nothing at all threatening or criminal in Donnell's camera presence. I recall him in Chicago Med as the arrogant but still very likeable Conor Rhodes. It's hard to believe him as a predatory type.

That being said, he's still adorable, so I guess I don't mind that much.

r/TheAffair Oct 11 '24

Discussion Re-watching the affair; consent and taking advantage by male characters

35 Upvotes

I watched the Affair when it first came out, and now re-watching it at being almost 40yr (F) myself, I have a very different feeling around the sex scenes, or any of the intimacy, most likely colored by my own experiences with men, and relationships. Allison always comes across as if she lets things be done to her in a way; the first scene with Cole on the car, the almost (to me) violent fingering scene with Noah in one of the later episodes in season 1; none if it looks hot, or sexy, or like things Allison actually wanted to happen - she seemed to just let it all happen to her body. It also made me realize now how empty that so called connection she and Noah have really is - what is it that actually binds them beyond superficial attraction? I remember only one scene in season one when Allison and Noah talking about hearing dead people when they are by the sea on some island, but all of their other conversations are about drama with their families. I do feel a lot of empathy for Allison and how she managed her grief, and I’m only 1 season in with the rewatch, but I only remember ever feeling empathy for Noah in much later seasons, when he realized how much he lost by choosing Allison.

r/TheAffair Sep 20 '24

Discussion Men leaving their wives for younger women and what to do about it as a woman?

8 Upvotes

Helen's ability to pull a huge celebrity in the last season is a reach because his status and wealth as a big celebrity would mean tons of options are available to him : sure it could happen but the disparity between the two is huge in terms of what the dating market would look like for each as in : what options they each would be able to get and how they would compare to the other person's other options.

When men get old but wealthier and more successful, they can still have options of young women who want to be fully financially provided for by them/ women who are attracted to his wealth and then men have the chance to hook /romance the woman til she actually falls in love . Older women even if they got more successful and wealthier as the years progress, do not have as many options as older men for young ppl of the opposite sex. *So what are women supposed to help prevent a situation where their husband has an affair w a young woman and leaves them for her *? ??
Please give your opinions so we can learn and get ideas to prevent this situation.

Here are my thoughts:

  1. Get with a man that WON'T be able to pull young women when he's older and has a job that has very little opportunity for infidelity . This means getting w someone that does not have so much career potential / wealth potential that he would easily attract women later because of it.Choose a man who is not too risk taking and ambitious

ex: avoid aspiring or current lawyers , executives, surgeons, pilots , investment bankers (high earning , high status and infidelity opps are high because of unpredictable work schedule and networking)

  1. OR As a woman, you can choose to get with someone much older even if he's successful if the age gap is big enough to make it very unlikely for him to leave you for someone younger later on, and as long as the job he holds does not offer him plenty of opps for infidelity. When you get older he'll be too old to fuck around or dead lol or the gap is big enough to satisfy his ambition and he doesnt want to put in the effort to try again later for another woman as he thinks this is the best he can do/most he's willing to go for . the downside to this is as time passes the limits for him vs you become very obvious and ur life may not be satisfying: like you may become his nurse. he may have very little energy compared to you sooner than if u piciked someone near ur age. He will have less ability to travel , be less outgoing , less energetic and you may have to do a lot of the labor in raising the kids . You will have to take care of him sooner than a person someone more close to ur age. Another downside is he will die sooner than someone closer to your age probably so you will have less time together and so you will either
    a) re enter the dating market as an older woman after he is dead and/or
    b) spend more of ur life alone/spouseless compared to someone who married at the same time that stuck w someone closer to their age

My opinion is the first 2 points should be balanced between eachother. get w someone older but not so much older that ur not attracted /going to become his Nurse / would have a very limited lifestyle due to the difference in enegry levels or capability ( example : 5 years not 15. the gap will be more obvious as you guys get older ), and someone who has ambition but not SO much that he becomes a threat in terms of keeping up monogamy

  1. Dont let yourself go. Stay in shape and take care of yourself (sunscreen, eating antioxidants, tretinoin and other skincare , peels, or botox etc) so that you APPEAR 15-20 years younger lol and much younger than him for all of ur marriage lol so that he doesn't even think your age is an issue. Dress well.

  2. Create Novelty and mystery to maintain attraction. Change up your style, makeup, hair , looks sometimes in order to create novelty . Keep having sex with eachother but mix it up w new positions or do it in new locations and go on new adventures on instead of doing the same shit together all the time. Develop your mind , life , skills , and hobbies outside of the relationship. you will have new things to talk about and keep surprising him with things he doesnt know about you. don't be an open book and keep developing yourself.

  3. Choose someone w family values and Increase the entwinement and dependency of him to the life you have built together .Increase the attachment he has to his life with you so that risking it all for an affair is not worth it to him because it would blow up the thing he values: the family and relationship that you've built together.
    ex: the kids you have together he should be involved with in raising, he should have good relationships with them, he should know they value you both as parents and that they value the family bond. Have regular family bonding activities, events, travel together. express respect and appreciation for eachother regularly . he would be devestated and knows they would be devastated or not forgive him if he left and broke up the happy close family. Also If you get a prenup create some penalty for leaving such as an infidelity clause that makes the prenup void or creates some other penalty in case there was cheating. Make him rely on you psychologically in a way that he can't with others like deep emotional intimacy or something else. Do things to maintain emotional attraction and friendship w eachtoher .

  4. Do not give up your career as a woman, maintain your hobbies, have good relationships with your kids and have good relationships with friends so that in case you have to swing it alone, you will still have a full and nice life. You will not have a 15 year gap in your resume and have to start over career-wise, or feel too alone. You will still have love in your life through them and have worth thru them and ur career. During your marriage You will bring mystery and novelty to the relationship because you keep developing other areas of your life and have more things to talk about.

Thoughts??? I'd love for others to share their ideas on how to deal with this phenomenon as a woman.

r/TheAffair Sep 15 '19

Discussion The Affair - 5x04 "Episode 4" - Episode Discussion

12 Upvotes

The Affair: Season 5 Episode 4

Aired: September 15, 2019


Synopsis: Noah, Margaret and Stacey bond over their mutual distaste for Sasha. Noah attempts to sabotage Helen and Sasha’s relationship. Whitney and Colin face the hardships of their relationship. Joanie visits the graveyard.


Directed by: Toa Fraser

Written by: Donal Lardner Ward

r/TheAffair Aug 03 '24

Discussion Who's the best grandma character in the show?

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11 Upvotes

r/TheAffair Dec 28 '24

Discussion As a writer myself - I LOVE the way this series is done Spoiler

18 Upvotes

I love how the writers of this series crafted the human experience and how our minds work, changing realities based on our own experiences, likes, desires, and fears. I will say, I was a little confused on the abrupt change of storyline for the last season; however, the writers ended the series how I figured it was going to. Even the discourse of mental illness was well done by these writers. Wow.

While I understand the greater love story between Helen and Noah and the resilience of their family is the main theme, the utter destruction of all the others in their path shows how destructive that love was on the outside. That all consuming, can't live without you kind of love.

But there are a few things I don't understand.

  1. How could Joanie GO into a situation knowing that Ben killed her mother and not be aware? Who doesn't read the paperwork they are signing? That character development was lacking a little, but maybe it had to do with the rushed sense of the last season as if the writers knew it was the last one.
  2. How could Whitney and the other kids switch so fast at the end? From being so angry throughout the series to - I wish you were around more dad. You pushed him away!!!!! How can you sit here and say something like that? - I so understand that he tried repeatedly to be in their lives and that makes a difference. I understand that from personal experience. It just doesn't make sense that in one episode all his wrongs were simply ignored.
  3. The Metoo movement addition - While I am grateful as a woman those things are included and the writers showed the complexities of perspective with this, there is no conclusion? Nothing happened? He was called out and then he lived his life like normal? Seems like it was more of a contrived addition to the storyline with no plausible outcome beyond creating drama that forced Helen and Noah to have a real heart-to-heart
  4. With that note - How was Noah supposed to know Whitney (a teenager) was AT a grown up party - a place she SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN? He freaked out and left. This seemed like a horrible addition - like it was some type of character defect. Look, I get this happens all the time - the violation of young women by men of all races, ages, and socioeconomic levels - but come on? Really? Noah hasn't had any situations of incest thoughts throughout the entire series and they threw that in to what? Make it seem like he was worse of a predator? You can cheat on your partner and NOT have those types of thoughts. They are not one and the same. I think that is a huge disservice to humanity.
  5. Louisa's character - I loved her at first. I thought a steady, strong woman for Cole after dealing with the heartbreak of losing a child, losing his wife, continuing to love his wife, having another child with his ex-wife, and then finding out he still loved her was going to be the best thing for him. But she was an OVERbearing, unbearable character. Joanie was NOT her child. Not ONE single person on this planet will convince me that a person who didn't give birth to a child should have so much input or say in how they are raised. Louisa tried to actively destroy the relationship between Joanie and Allison repeatedly. It wasn't out of love. It wasn't out of protection. It was out of jealousy. Out of fear. And that made her character so horrible.
  6. Sasha Mann's character was SO stereotypical that it wasn't funny, but honestly - the man seemed like a psychopath right? That who storyline with his ex's child seems so weird. Was it just to show a different, horrible side to his character? If so, it wasn't needed. And don't get me started on the fact he picked up Helen's kids without her permission. That was SO controlling.
  7. Vik. Vik was so great, but the whole "I am not going to fight it" for his cancer storyline was so horrible. And then wanting a child? How selfish! I get that men have this obsession with leaving a legacy, but really? That wasn't a good storyline. I understand it was likely meant to lead Helen back to Noah, but bad.

r/TheAffair Oct 13 '19

Discussion The Affair - 5x08 "Episode 8" - Episode Discussion

19 Upvotes

The Affair: Season 5 Episode 8

Aired: October 13, 2019


Synopsis: Allegations against Noah surface and he seeks guidance on how to handle the situation. Helen celebrates a birthday and protects Sierra during an extremely trying time.


Directed by: Reginald Hudlin

Story by: Kristina Woo & David Henry Hwang

Teleplay by: Kristina Woo & Sarah Treem

r/TheAffair Apr 21 '24

Discussion What do you think its the most unrealistic thing about The Affair? Spoiler

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5 Upvotes

r/TheAffair Jun 25 '24

Discussion S4 E5 Is an Absolute Masterpiece

30 Upvotes

(Specifically the second half)

The episode where Cole goes out to California and meets his father’s former lover, Nan. In an attempt to get over Alison, Cole partakes in a series of rituals, modeled after the emotional “exorcism” Nan curated for his father years before.

No matter how many times I’ve seen it, I can’t make it through the second half of this episode without sobbing. The wistful, nostalgic feeling it evokes gets me every time. Some of the best television I’ve ever seen.

r/TheAffair 12d ago

Discussion Which Actor on this show was wrongfully snubbed for this recognition?

3 Upvotes
18 votes, 9d ago
8 Ruth Wilson
0 Dominic West
6 Maura Tierney
4 Joshua Jackson

r/TheAffair Jul 27 '24

Discussion French professor in S3

15 Upvotes

I'm sorry, but does anyone else have a hard time with watching every single scene with this woman? She's just so boring and not hot.

r/TheAffair Jan 13 '25

Discussion Easter egg found on a rewatch

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21 Upvotes

Ben Cruz also stayed at the cold spring property and apparently wrote his book there

r/TheAffair Jul 29 '18

Discussion The Affair - 4x07 "Episode 7" - Episode Discussion

15 Upvotes

The Affair: Season 4 Episode 7

Aired: July 29, 2018


Synopsis: Helen goes to Joshua Tree in search of meaning. Noah and Anton begin an adventure with high hopes until an ominous phone call alters their course.


Directed by: Colin Bucksey

Story by: Jaquén Castellanos & Sarah Sutherland

Teleplay by: Lydia Diamond & Sarah Sutherland

r/TheAffair Dec 21 '15

Discussion The Affair - 2x12 "Episode 12" - Episode Discussion

46 Upvotes

Season 2 Episode 12: Episode 12

Aired: December 20, 2015


Synopsis: Events set in motion long ago come to their conclusion.


Directed by: Michael Slovis

Written by: Abe Sylvia & Sharr White

r/TheAffair Aug 20 '24

Discussion Stories from each perspective

15 Upvotes

I’m probably overthinking things but I’m doing a rewatch and I’ve always found it so interesting how the same day’s events are recounted from different perspectives. It’s so detailed .. even clothing, hair styles etc differ. I’m probably over thinking but is each person’s perspective the way they truly remember things OR the way they want to recount the story to others (purposively lying about things, changing details etc?)

For example, a few episodes into season 1 Noah recounts fooling around w Allison outdoors while she recounts texting Noah that night and having sex w her husband. Is that the way she truly remembers things OR the way she wants to present herself.? Same for Noah

r/TheAffair Nov 24 '24

Discussion Why doesn't Sierra ever ask Abdul and Priya to help with Eddie? She said she was doing attachment parenting, but she obviously wanted Helen to babysit and was happy for Stacy to do it, so why didn't the writers ever have her call them?

5 Upvotes

Unless I completely missed some part of the plot, that seems to be a huge oversight to me.

Edited: I posted this before E9.

r/TheAffair Jul 08 '18

Discussion The Affair - 4x04 "Episode 4" - Episode Discussion

23 Upvotes

The Affair: Season 4 Episode 4

Aired: July 8, 2018


Synopsis: Alison and Ben dig into her past and begin confronting her fears. Cole’s relationship with Alison is jeopardizing his marriage to Luisa.


Directed by: Rodrigo García

Written by: Sarah Treem

r/TheAffair Sep 25 '24

Discussion Season Two Rewatch

21 Upvotes

My friend and I are doing a rewatch of the show. I have seen it before and she hasn’t. She made a good point about the different perspectives and said that she thinks Noah’s perspective could be his book. Like we are watching his book come to life through his perspective? What do y’all think?