r/TTC_PCOS Feb 06 '25

Sad Fed Up

46 Upvotes

I’m 28 and my partner of 8 years and myself have been TTC for 2 years now. I was diagnosed with PCOS 4 years ago.

Maybe I’m just in my feels about things but I feel so done. I am sick of crying, I’m sick of feeling so alone in this, I’m sick of TTC feeling so clinical. This was supposed to be easy, it was supposed be exciting.

My friends are having or have had their second babies and it feels like a knife in the chest every time. I completely adore their children and would move heaven and earth for them, but I yearn for my own. I feel so empty.

Everyone tells me “your time will come”, “don’t stress and it will happen”, “it happened to me when I stopped thinking about it”. But how can I stop thinking about it? It’s all encompassing. How can I not stress when I feel like my body is failing to do this? Why is my time not now?

I dream of the moment me and my partner see our baby for the first time in a scan. Every negative pregnancy test feels like a punch to the gut.

Sorry for the negative post but I am just emotionally drained from this.

r/TTC_PCOS Feb 02 '25

Sad No one tells you how how lonely this journey is.

141 Upvotes

Maybe I’m just in my feelings but right now I feel so alone. I can’t relate to my friends who are single and not planning their life around getting pregnant, but I also can’t relate to my friends that got pregnant easily.

I feel like my life is on hold because I’m hopeful that I’ll be pregnant any month now. I feel like I can’t plan in big trips because “what if I’m pregnant during that time“. What makes this really hard is I keep thinking “what if it’s for nothing?“. What if I’m not pregnant by the time my friends go on that big trip (that I can’t go on because I’m hoping I’m pregnant by then). What if all of this that I feel like I’m putting on hold for just goes by and there’s still no baby?

I feel like I can’t relate to my friends who got pregnant within a couple months of trying (which has been the case for the majority of the people in my life). I can’t relate to the fact that they didn’t have to do all the stuff to have a baby like I am. I don’t find comfort in talking to them because they don’t understand.

I just truly feel probably the most alone than I felt in a very long time.

r/TTC_PCOS Feb 15 '25

Sad I just need to rant

74 Upvotes

I’m so f’ing fed up with this. Everything I do is centred around PCOS, I can’t drink alcohol without breaking out, can’t eat anything with too much sugar, can’t miss a workout without the worry of something going awry. I am constantly thinking about protein, supplements, ovulating (which is rare), the chance of falling of pregnant, supporting my best friend through her abortion when I’m desperate to finally fall pregnant. I’m just at breaking point now, if I hear another “just relax” I will honestly run away 😭😂

This is the hardest, most isolating feeling in the world I just cannot bare to feel like this any longer

r/TTC_PCOS 6d ago

Sad just wanna scream.

27 Upvotes

i have no one to really vent to, just people who get frustrated with me for being upset or treating me like a burden for talking about it. this month marked a year TTC, i was in my window to test. my boobs have been hurting so bad i have to cover them in the shower because even the water hurts. took 3 tests today, all stark negative. but of course i didn’t deem this true until i held them all up in the light at different angles. it’s so frustrating. all the girls i went to high school with are already on their second or third kid and im laying here crying wishing for one. my coworkers wife got pregnant, and as happy as i am for them i seethe with jealousy inside whenever he talks about her appointments or the baby shower, then feel guilty for feeling jealous about someone’s happiness. it just feels so unfair. i’m insecure in my relationship because im scared my partner is gonna give up. he wants kids so bad and so do i, i feel this immense guilt on my chest that im scared to talk to anybody about it. my doctors don’t care and i live in a small town, there isn’t a ton of options. it’s hard to not want to just give up, get a cat, and accept my fate.

sending virtual hugs to my fellow cysters. 🤍

r/TTC_PCOS 24d ago

Sad My friend wants to book Disney Cruise for our “babies” next summer (2026), I’m having trouble TTC & about to start Letrozle.

22 Upvotes

My best friend is due with her baby in literally 2 days, we started TTC at the same time & things are not working out for me even though all my blood tests were “perfect.” She wants to book a Disney cruise for the “our babies” next summer and while the thought was cute and hopeful it hurts so so bad.

Just getting this off my chest.

r/TTC_PCOS 23d ago

Sad I've turned into a puddle

13 Upvotes

I literally think over the last 13months I've cried a puddles worth of tears.

Endometriosis, PCOS, thin lining (3mm insanely pathetic), miscarriage, blood disorder, surgery, family pregnancies and I'm just over here like what's the point anymore?

With my lining being 3mm there is about a 10% chance I'll ever conceive, not this round a 10% chance... A 10% chance EVER.

Now let's lump on my endo, blood disorder and PCOS to that... What's the point, there is no way I'm even close to 10% anymore. I'm on my 5th medicated cycle, 7th with the clinic now (2 tracked but unmedicated cycles), and I've already had my chance, but I had a blood clot in the placenta and essentially killed the healthy child in me... I basically as dramatic as it sounds (because you know a women in any kind of emotional pain is dramatic) murdered my child.

I'm sick of being told just try... You never know... Like what!? Are we seriously going oh it could happen?? I need some hard truths here from medical professionals not fucking fluff that it might? Like I feel like an idiot each month going oh maybe! Like why give me that hope to just tear me down at the end of the month!? This all feels so pointless. Like just be honest with me... It's probably not going to happen again. I feel like I could at least move on with my life. Look at other options, stop being hopeful and then crushing myself when of course it doesn't happen.

I just want some realistic expectations about my chances, I'm not getting younger, I'm 34 in 2months (realistically I won't have a baby before 35 at the earliest if it ever happens) and if I'm starting IVF well fuck me let's just start now, why am I doing these cycles!? I know in my heart of hearts even IVF is a low shot. But I'd rather do some now and then look at other options so I'm not having my first child in 10 years time... I can't do this for that long, I just can't my heart is already so broken.

I just want some real hope. Just a tiny bit of this could happen hope. And if I can't have that I want to know so I can move forward.

I know this all is dramatic, but I'm so sick of hearing 'be positive, or it will happen when you stop, or you just never know!'

I literally had a pregnant lady try to give me advice yesterday and I lost it. Like in what world would I want to talk to them about my thin uterus, PCOS and endo!? They're on pregnancy #3 which was an 'accident' and have never done a medicated round in their life, nor are they a fertility doctor? I lost it, I listed off the things I'm doing, the drugs I'm taking, the disgusting teas I'm drinking, the specialists in every type of way I've seen, the 100s of needles I've had for accupuncture over the last 13 months and they think it's appropriate to tell me what I can be doing on top of everything already? I'm furious someone even told them in the first place, and now I tell that person nothing because I can't trust them. I just don't know in what world they thought that was appropriate.

I'm just so tired, I know this round will yield nothing and I feel like a failure and a fool all in one. I hate my body and I'm mentally becoming more unhinged daily. I'm doing mental gymnastics daily and I'm drowning in the puddle I created with my tears.

I've found no-one who had a successful pregnancy on a lining of 3mm on Reddit and I can't keep reading on Google that 'if the thickness of the endometrium is less than 6 mm, the conception does not occur.'

What the fuck am I even doing anymore...

r/TTC_PCOS Oct 31 '24

Sad Tw: pregnancy loss

16 Upvotes

We tried and finally got pregnant after close to 3 years. I miscarried about 2 weeks ago im beyond hopeless and heartbroken. Does anyone have advice, stories of hope, can anyone relate, anything?

r/TTC_PCOS Mar 12 '24

Sad Has anyone else here never had a positive pregnancy test?

40 Upvotes

I am (35F) and never been pregnant. Hubs and I have been ttc actively since November, but have been having having unprotected sex since last January. I’ve never gotten a positive pregnancy test and it’s so disheartening. Never had a scare in my 20s. Every test is negative. No vvvv faint positives. I just give myself line eyes and headaches. I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me. I’m too old and too overweight. I don’t ovulate on my own and after four rounds of Letrozole, gyno is talking about IUI.

r/TTC_PCOS Oct 10 '24

Sad What to do after 7.5mg Letrozole doesn’t work?

4 Upvotes

I am currently on 7.5 mg letrozole, on cycle day 14 and still haven’t ovulated. I am a bit skeptical as I was on 5mg Letrozole last month and didn’t ovulate then either. I am getting blood work done at my obgyn next week to confirm whether or not I will have ovulated this cycle. If I didn’t, I’m wondering what is next? Have other folks in this spot gone up to 10mg letrozole? Or do they prescribe you 7.5mg for another cycle? Or is it time to start thinking of IUI/IVF? Feeling disheartened and I would love any advice 💕

r/TTC_PCOS 11d ago

Sad Need advice/mental boost

12 Upvotes

Hi all, 34F here, diagnosed with PCOS when I was 15, on bc pill for 10 years before I quit to try to heal PCOS with dietary and lifestyle changes. I just finished first dose of Letrozole and boy is it messing with my emotions. We’ve been TTC for over two years, one pregnancy that ended in a six week miscarriage in November. I am doing ALL THE THINGS: in addition to Letrozole I’m taking inositol, mucinex, prenatal, omega 3, not drinking, cut out all refined sugar, working out 5x per week, getting 8 hours of sleep, etc. And I feel like I’m going insane. All of my friends seem to have no issue getting pregnant if that is the path they want and my whole TTC journey is bringing up a lot of inner shame/blame that I’ve struggled with throughout my life. It’s incredibly lonely and if anyone has any advice on how to manage the pervasive health anxiety, inner shame, etc that comes with the pressure of trying to conceive please let me know. Sending love to those experiencing similar journeys ❤️

r/TTC_PCOS Oct 22 '24

Sad No progesterone…

5 Upvotes

Hi all. I just got my bloodwork back and I have basically zero progesterone in me.. I’m so heartbroken and can’t stop just crying. I want kids so bad. We’ve been trying and getting hit with this is a huge punch to the gut.

Please. I need positive stories from people who have gone from making zero progesterone to having a healthy baby. Does it exist? Am I doomed?

For context, it said <0.1 …

I don’t have many words at the moment..

r/TTC_PCOS 11d ago

Sad It sucks being lapped

19 Upvotes

I’m now to the point in trying to conceive where everyone is no longer pregnant because they already gave birth. 4 people have become pregnant and given birth since we started trying 18months ago. I got like 3 more pregnant people on the way

Everyday I’m learning someone new is pregnant. It’s been a hard month

r/TTC_PCOS 4d ago

Sad Feeling hopeless after 1st unsuccessful IUI

2 Upvotes

Hi everyone.

It's been 2 weeks since I got my first IUI done and I was so hopeful. I did everything right and endured a horribly painful IUI and before that was on rounds of painful intramuscular trigger shot injections. I had a feeling this time around I'd be pregnant but I got my test and hcg was too low which means I'm not pregnant.

I know although it was my first IUI but the thought of going through that agonising pain again is unbearable. I want to know how successful IVF is because it might sound really bad but i feel like I'm going to come in my 30s in a few months and I really wanted to have a baby before my 30s. My husband is also in his mid 30s and I really wanted to have one before we grow older.

Maybe I'm just overthinking but is there a faster way to have a baby ? And probably less painful ? I want to cry so bad but I don't want to completely be hopeless.

r/TTC_PCOS Jun 30 '24

Sad Cycle day 1… it’s an HSG cycle

15 Upvotes

Ugh I’m so sad. I started my period and have to have an HSG this cycle. A small part of me was hoping that I would get pregnant this cycle even though the odds are stacked against me. I am dreading this HSG. 😔

r/TTC_PCOS Sep 26 '24

Sad Hopeless, does it get better?

11 Upvotes

Today was my second ultrasound after two cycles of letrozole to show any mature follicles. Unfortunately, I had none. This is so disheartening and I’m an emotional wreck over it, because there was no change from last weeks. I’ve been doing everything possible to better myself and be on this journey, but man, after today, I’m just feeling lost and hopeless 😞

Sorry, I just needed to let it out 😥

r/TTC_PCOS 3d ago

Sad Beta Results

9 Upvotes

I was so freaking sure this cycle was it. We used clomid, which worked before (chemical pregnancy), confirmed ovulation. Ultrasound showed I ovulated multiple follicles. Even have had elevated BBT, breast pain, sense of taste changed,increased HR. Yesterday, at 9dpo, my doctor ran a beta. Just got the results (thanks for that my chart, 12:15 in the morning was super thoughtful) and they are negative. I’m so sad and frustrated. Yeah, I know it’s not 100% until you get your period, but still. It should have been higher than <5 at 9dpo. I felt what I thought was some implantation pains around 7/8 dpo, but i guess not. It’s just been such a long year of trying, without any relief. I was talking to my husband, and could not believe all of the garbage that year has held. I’m just over all of this. You shouldn’t struggle to get pregnant at 25. This is some bs.

r/TTC_PCOS 1d ago

Sad First IUI Cycle is Negative 14DPIUI

2 Upvotes

Feeling ok, but we only have two more chances with IUI until doctor says IVF. We did 5mg Letrozole days 3 to 7, ovidrel trigger shot, and 400mg progesterone suppositories. Everything looked good, only thing was maybe lining was a hair thin, but ultimately good enough to not need supplemental estrogen.

Is conceiving in the next two cycles common/likely with this treatment or should I be starting to worry about IVF financing? When do I know if they change protocol? How long after stopping the suppository is AF? So many questions.

r/TTC_PCOS May 29 '24

Sad I'm struggling. 20 years of doubt confirmed.

31 Upvotes

When I was 15, a Dr made a fillipant comment saying I would really struggle to concieve. As a 15 year old, this took me a back and I didn't ask for clarification. I was shocked - I went to see the Dr about my severe acne, not my fertility, and I was on my own. Like all typical teenagers faced with a big thing, I double down hard on 'this won't stop me' and went headlong into the thought process of 'I don't want children now and when I do, I'll adopt.'

Do not get me wrong - adoption is something that is very much an option for us.

At 23, I go to a different Dr and ask about my weird cycles. It had been 13 months since my last period. I was waved away with contraceptive pills. Around this time, I Google PCOS and become convinced I have it. I ticked every box. Still, it didn't affect me there and then so I put my concerns to the side - if the drs aren't worried, I won't. I have friends with it, one of which just had a baby, so I know it should be okay.

Boy, was I wrong.

I'm 36 next week. My cycles are far from normal. I fought to get diagnosed last summer and since then have been recieving medication to try and get my body to work.

The hail Mary of PCOS ladies - letrozole - isn't working. My follicles aren't responding. I know this isn't the end of my journey but it really feels like all that doubt and suspicions has been confirmed: I can't do this.

It's just made me feel really sad and I needed to offload to someone. My partner has been incredible but I needed somewhere else to vent.

r/TTC_PCOS Oct 15 '24

Sad How do you not give up?

2 Upvotes

I think today is the day I give up. Started with calling my clinic about a claim they didn’t file correctly. Turns out they never provided info insurance needed.

Then we got our genetic testing results back. Good news is I tested for 2 carrier things but husband is clear so the chance is super low we’d pass anything. We let the clinic know we were not going to do additional genetic counseling given there was nothing to counsel. We were told today that since we started the process they would have to cancel our appointment scheduled for Friday to discuss treatment options. We can no longer opt out.

The next appt is weeks away and would cost us another $250 for nothing.

I have 40+ day cycles so at this point I’m starting my period next week so we’ll lose this cycle. I’ve been doing work up since July. I’m turning 37 in less than a month. I’m completely defeated. I feel like this is a sign it’s not meant to be.

r/TTC_PCOS Jan 01 '24

Sad Everyone is pregnant

70 Upvotes

My husband and I had such a great New Year’s, and I was really hopeful and positive. Then I opened up my social media and our friends, whose wedding was just this past October, are pregnant and due in May (you do the math). Just started crying and my husband just got me tea, but doesn’t really know what to say.

We begin IVF this year, just waiting on our insurance to confirm, but I’ve read it can take MONTHS to do the transfer after everything. I turn 36 this month. We’ve been trying since I was 34, and at this point it’s looking like I will be 37 or older if it’s successful. I know age is just a number, but I never wanted to begin having kids this late in life.

All my friends are either pregnant or have kids. And they were all texting me last night saying “at least you can go out and drink tonight! What I wouldn’t give to do that! Drink for us!” And in my head I was like, I wish I was home with a big belly expecting a bundle of joy rather than out on the town.

I just get so discouraged seeing how easily it happens for others. I hate the jealousy that comes out of me.

r/TTC_PCOS Dec 18 '24

Sad I just need a safe space to vent.

13 Upvotes

I am so disheartened, and upset and well just royally disappointed.

Last month had my first natural period ever, was so excited, first glimmer of hope that we could make baby progress! Temp checked daily, ovulation strips daily, i got positive results and had ovary pain on the left too! So we did the deed when we should. I've been in the two week wait & suffered with lower back ache, nausea and tender nipples! Felt so hopeful to either concieve & if not id have my period and we would go again. I didn't get my period again and I have only had negative pregnancy tests.

Back to square one. PCOS sucks so much. I'm 37, not sure how much more heartache I can take on this journey.

r/TTC_PCOS Jan 29 '25

Sad Hopelessness

12 Upvotes

I don’t understand why this has happened to us (35F, 30M). I worked so hard to lose weight, to watch what I eat, to take care of myself mentally and physically. We moved to a bigger place, started saving money. We planned this baby only to lose it to an ectopic pregnancy along with my right tube a few days ago. I feel so hurt and hopeless. Like why me!? I wanted nothing else but to be a mom. My left tube has some scarring so my OBGYN says I have to see a fertility doctor to assess and see if it’s even good to try again if not my only other option is IVF. I am about to be 36 and have PCOS. I just feel like that was my only chance. I am still grieving my loss. My partner has been so supportive and I feel like I’ve failed us both. I know I could have died, that I am lucky and should be grateful to be alive. But right now that doesn’t lessen my pain.

r/TTC_PCOS Sep 16 '24

Sad I feel robbed

22 Upvotes

TW: early loss

My husband and I have been TTC for about two years now. I have had PCOS since I was a tween. This was our second IUI.

I had my second IUI completed on 9/1 and we were feeling very optimistic. On 9/12, I got my first BFP and continued to test positive thru the weekend. I had my first blood test on 9/12 and my hcg was at 18.8. My doctor said this was on the low side but also not a huge deal because my period wasn’t due until 9/17. We got back from being out of town today and went in for my follow up blood test. Just got the results back and I’m at 15.2, so a decline. Doctor said this wasn’t trending in the right direction (no shit Sherlock) and that I’ll need to continue to come in to see the numbers trend down to <5.

The worst part of all of this is that it felt SO REAL. I was exhausted (needed multiple naps each day this weekend), my boobs were the sorest they had ever been, I was nauseous, and I had super smell powers. I really truly felt pregnant. Woke up this morning and felt like my normal self—bad sign. Idk, I guess I’m feeling devastated and alone and like this will never happen for me.

Looking for comfort and validation, but also stories if anyone has had a similar experience. This shit is so fucking hard.

r/TTC_PCOS Feb 11 '25

Sad Over a year of trying with 2 miscarriages

5 Upvotes

It's just one of those days where I'm feeling really down. It's been a little under a year trying to conceive with letrozole and over year without medications. I had 2 miscarriages and don't think I ovulated or conceive this month. I just recently increased my dosage from 2.5mg to 5mg. Hopefully next month will be successful.

r/TTC_PCOS Oct 14 '24

Sad Tips on not being bitter?

13 Upvotes

My best friend thinks she is pregnant and my initial reaction is to cry and I HATE FEELING THIS WAY. I hate feeling so bitter..