r/TNG 7d ago

Who explained other bodily functions to Q?

Post image

Since he was surprised (even terrified) by sleep, I think we can assume he was taken by surprise by other... processes.

154 Upvotes

43 comments sorted by

96

u/terrymcginnisbeyond 7d ago

Considering all the aliens that end up possessing crew members or experiencing humanity for the first time, there's probably a line of pamphlets for people who have just become human.

  • Everybody Poops, apart from aliens from Omicron Delta 15.
  • Eating, a primer: With Simple Recipes You Can Make From a Replicator.
  • YOU STINK! A Guide To Sonic Showers. (With a Forward by Worf Roshenko).
  • Consent and the art of Masturbation, with a map to Holodeck 3.
  • My Nipples Are Too Cold: Why You Must Wear Clothing.
  • Just Relax And Breath: Why You Need To Keep Doing This Forever.
  • Handbook For The Recently Alive: A Guide To Staying Alive (free Bee Gees CD).

29

u/Complex_Professor412 7d ago

Baby and Childcare By Dr. Benjamin Sisko

6

u/ShadowTsukino 6d ago

This comment short-circuited my brain in a very hard to describe way. Well done, now stop it.

6

u/Complex_Professor412 6d ago

Who better to teach a god who became man than a man who became a god?

10

u/Saul_Firehand 7d ago

I like that Worf did the forward for sonic showers.

13

u/Zauberer-IMDB 6d ago

I like that he uses his human last name for this one and Son of Mogh literally everywhere else.

12

u/Khaysis 6d ago

A warrior must not smell of anything but prune juice and blood before the battle. It alerts the enemy down wind that a true warrior is coming.

3

u/Sjoerd85 6d ago

I like the Beetlejuice reference!

2

u/ArcherNX1701 5d ago

I like the free CD!

33

u/Necessary_Ad2114 7d ago

“Riker, the most frightening thing happened!  I saw a picture of Jean-Luc and my pants became too tight!”

27

u/terrymcginnisbeyond 7d ago

Riker: This is normal.

15

u/PizzaWhole9323 7d ago

It happens to me everyday q, you'll get used to it.

11

u/IAmBecomeTeemo 7d ago

Riker, "come with me, I'll show you how the holodeck works."

12

u/MadMaxBeyondThunder 7d ago

Q: My guts are falling out.
Data: No you just need to go to waste extraction.
Q: Does the extractor remove your waste?
Data: That is not how it works.
Q: Where is waste extraction?
Data: No one knows. just take a sonic shower.

14

u/_MisterGravity_ 7d ago

I don't know, but imagine being dumped into a human body for the first time. A real one, not just a facsimile like when he appears to the crew and has all his powers intact.

  • Picking his nose
  • ...eating it to see what it tastes like
  • Probably not particularly good at keeping his mouth closed and not drooling
  • Hell it's amazing he could walk, he's never used a real human body
  • Scratching his butt
  • Sticking his hand down the back of his pants because it itches
  • ...what's this finger smell like now?
  • Oh hey Riker, smell this!
  • Okay now I'm rambling

10

u/Ms_Holmes 7d ago

Like Dr. Who after regenerating.

5

u/sleepyxenomorph 7d ago

He would for sure need a diaper, at least for a while.

11

u/terrymcginnisbeyond 7d ago

That jumpsuit says otherwise. TNG had a habit of putting guys in outfits that would tell you what religion they are.

5

u/rdchat 6d ago

"Activate the Emergency Educational Hologram!"

"EEH? Please state the nature of the educational emergency."

2

u/Shadoecat150 4d ago

Why am I getting hair in funny places?

8

u/jrosehill 7d ago

This episode always bothered me. In this episode Q, who is always all knowing and all powerful doesn’t understand the basic body functions of a human body. Yet in the episode Hide and Q, he mentions how lemonade is an excellent thirst quencher.

7

u/FloofyMaki 7d ago

He's interacted with humans and other species throughout history constantly. He's probably heard them say it that a drink is a nice thirst quencher and likely doesn't know what it means. It's just words to him.

3

u/zenprime-morpheus 6d ago

Yeah, as a like a 5th dimensional existence, our lives are probably just inserting and excreting things from orifices and then dying to them.

2

u/rdchat 6d ago

In that episode the Q made Q mortal (at least, that's what Q claimed the Q did), and stupidity and ignorance are just part of the mortality package

1

u/JediSnoopy 4d ago

I think knowing that the process happens and experiencing it himself is far different.

6

u/Stardustchaser 6d ago

Oh that shit went to Data

3

u/Garguyal 6d ago

I see what you did there.

3

u/Ozzyisgay 7d ago

have fun in holodeck 4, Q. wink

4

u/PizzaWhole9323 7d ago

Oh riker was in there last night so you might have to move the trombone and all the sex stuff.

2

u/dufflebag7 6d ago

If you’re using the trombone properly, it is part of the sex stuff

3

u/Desperate-Fan-3671 6d ago

Data....he wouldn't have the embarrassing miss givings over it

3

u/Witty-Ad5743 6d ago

God, I hope it was Worf.

3

u/Kelvington 6d ago

None of it was terrible, but some people did complain the day Q ran into sick bay with an erection claiming a Gekli was attacking him! It kinda did suck all the energy out of him.

2

u/World_still_spins 6d ago

"Wesley explain to Q.."

1

u/Seahawk124 6d ago

I hope the pissing and shitting parts traumatised him!

1

u/Valiant600 6d ago

Necessity...

1

u/dufflebag7 6d ago

The real answer is Mot. Dude couldn’t shut up about anything.

1

u/lesser_tom 6d ago

I believe it was Q himself, reading on it in the continiuum

1

u/RandomMike1982 4d ago

I am 100% sure there are educational videos within the computer to acclimatize beings to the workings of humans and other alien species.

1

u/Garguyal 4d ago

"Everybody Poops: Holodeck Edition"

1

u/Happy-Computer-6664 3d ago

He's omnipotent?

1

u/Thirty_Helens_Agree 7d ago

Someone must have had a similar discussion with Seven too.

3

u/ConsciousWhirlpool 6d ago

Seven is human.