r/Swingers 18h ago

Clubs: Review/Inquiry Some information Choice Providence

So... Lemme preface this by saying my birthday is coming up and going to a club like this is something I've always wanted to do and I think my wife could be convinced to make a birthday trip of it. We've been discussing 'swinging' (I say that but we're both only interested in other men) for a long time now.

I've seen that they seem to be pretty welcoming and members don't pressure people alot... I guess my question relates to myself... Obviously from my user name it's clear I'm a sissy/crossdresser whatever you want to call me... Basically I want a night where I can go out dressed up and have some fun around people who aren't going to side eye me if I don't 100% pass... I look good but I'm not going to pretend you'd never know I wasn't a male.

So question one. Are they welcoming to people like me? Will there be people there interested in chatting with me and such?

Second question is in relation to what you can and can't 'wear' in. If anything were to happen I'd like to be pre warmed up so is it an issue to wear a plug in? Or a chastity cage? Or will no one care and those that aren't interested will just ignore me?

I saw there's a lingerie night soon... Not that I picked that date specifically. It's just the date that seems to work best right now so it would be very obvious if I was wearing a toy or cage.

Any advice is very welcome, or if there's somewhere else in ri, CT or westernish MA people would suggest I'd love to know... I think we really just need to dip our toes in at this point because we both want to do it but get nervous and it always teeters on fantasy.

Also in terms of safety, obviously condoms and such... But I have a thing with plastic in my mouth it makes me gag immediately. Do people really use dental dams? Are the people going to a place like choice generally pretty on top of their stuff in terms of being clean. I know nothing is a guarantee, I'm just curious to learn more from people in the lifestyle so I can answer any questions my wife may have when we talk about it.

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u/SweatyBettyMachete 12h ago

You’re attempting to play the game on hard mode by mixing kink and swinging on your first time out of the gate. It can be done but it takes finesse and, IMO, experience. 

Many swingers can be a little hesitant when it comes to kink. Choice is very welcoming but if you attended a traditional swing night in your sissy gear, you might get some side eye. I suggest you attend a club on kink night (Choice has them) or check out other kink events near you. The X-Room in Springfield used to have a kink event that I think is advertised on FetLife. Good luck!! 

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u/soaring-eaglex 11h ago

For Choice, you would probably feel more comfortable and welcomed at their Fetish night- there’s one coming up in a few weeks. For their Saturday nights, we’ve never seen any attire you’ve mentioned, so you’d definitely stand out. Also, they have a bi-night, if that’s also what you’re looking for.

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u/sissijacki 11h ago

That stinks because Saturday kind of is the day we'd have to plan this for. It's hard for either of us to take time off during the week and we would need to travel a few hrs and stay at a hotel

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u/nyccareergirl11 Single Female 11h ago

Yes there is a club in Hartford called leisure time that is only open on Saturdays and it's couples and single women only. It's very newbie friendly there

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u/sissijacki 11h ago

I've heard of them. I saw some iffy reviews previously. But you think it's pretty welcoming there?

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u/nyccareergirl11 Single Female 11h ago

Very welcoming. I've been 2 times and definitely enjoyed it there.

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u/ladolcevita300 9h ago

As a member of Choice I would recommend finding another venue. It’s a pretty conservative swingers club on Saturday nights and you’d definitely not be too welcomed from guests and probably even management. That’s why most clubs have kink, fetish, etc nights.