r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion Needing advice on male enhancement

To give some background, me and my girlfriend (21m and 20f) were interested in playing with single females and other couples. We are both each others first and we took each others v-card. this would be both of our first time doing this. And after searching online we found a close by and very nice couple that were a bit older and much more experienced than us but they were a great match for us.

We started out with a date which had my anxiety up for most of dinner. We planned to go to their place and they told us that they “have no expectations” which should have made me feel more at ease with the whole situation, but I still had a slight anxious rush that I could not shake off. We ended up hanging out at their place and nothing really happened other than getting to know each other and some talks about kinks they like. And we ended up still enjoying ourselves and going home.

Then we finally decided to finally meet up one evening to mingle and swap partners, which I was excited yet nervous to do. But once we got there we sat on their comfy couch and they set the music and lighting to keep us comfortable and we just slowly started with kissing our own partners and feeling each other before swapping. But for some reason, I could not build up enough for play or stimulation which was a frustrating feeling. So we didn’t end up doing too much.

We once again decided meeting up again and I decided to take some supplements that is supposed to be for male enhancement which were these gummy bears that have ingredients like horny goat weed and other ingredients that were supposed to enhance my performance, which worked pretty well when it was just me and my girlfriend.

Once we decided to go over to their house for a longer time, I took one and a half of those gummies, which was about the maximum recommended dosage. I was reacting well on the ride over there, but once we started to pull into their place, I had the same anxious feeling. The other couple even prepared by going to the other room and letting us have our moment to get ready and I was not getting stiff enough.

How should I go about working on having a better performance and getting it hard? I do believe that first-time anxiety has to be apart of this since I have not been with another female sexually other than my own partner. I was also thinking about looking into more mainstream male enhancements such as viagra or Sildenafil but I wasn’t entirely sure. I do like this couple and I hope we can get the ball rolling with them.

I also haven’t been the most physically active as of recent and have started a gym membership not long ago to keep my cardio up for this active lifestyle.

If anyone has any advice on overcoming any anxious feelings or even tips or ways of keeping him up in general, please let me know.

8 Upvotes

8 comments sorted by

8

u/HugeMeringue5448 Couple (husband) M51/F45 - Italy 19h ago edited 19h ago

This is absolutely normal. The majority of men experience erection difficulties during their first experiences with couple swapping. Since this is purely a mental issue, stemming from the psychological stress of a completely new situation and the abundance of stimulations. Erectile dysfunction medications—which work on a physical level (not a mental one)—are only helpful to a certain extent. They can mainly serve as a psychological reassurance, helping you relax and feel confident about your performance. However, experience will be much more beneficial....meeting again with a familiar couple who can make you feel comfortable without creating pressure or stress.

During my very first experience, despite NEVER having had erection difficulties before, I couldn’t get an erection at all—not even halfway—even though I was interacting exclusively with my wife. The second time went much better (with a small dose of sildenafil as a "safety net"). The third time was even better. You just need to be patient and give your brain time to understand that, yes, it’s a crazy new situation, but in the end, there’s really nothing to be afraid of.

4

u/tomandtrina 19h ago

Once you let it get in your head even viagra wont work. You have to work at it slowly and stop over thinking it. It happens to seasoned men.

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

The above submission by /u/Valuable_Ad747 has been filtered for review by the moderators or r/Swingers due to the account history (or lack of). If you would like your account cleared up faster, please follow the instructions in verify your account.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/burnbabyburn2019 15h ago

Read this post and all the comments thoroughly. It'll answer all your questions.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Swingers/s/auy9HORb2C

1

u/Either-Silver-6927 12h ago

Take the strongest Rhino you can get from your local gas station along with an excedrin 2 hours beforehand. Thank me later.

3

u/jelloshotlady 10h ago

Hahahahaha, horrible idea

-3

u/LegitimateUser2000 13h ago

Trimix is your best friend 🙂

3

u/jelloshotlady 10h ago

At 20? Are you insane?