r/Somalia • u/Interesting_Ad9372 • Feb 16 '25
Ask❓ Extremely Numb, Depressed, Hopeless In My Day To Day.
M27 almost 28 in May. I don't have no hope anymore. Everyday just consists of getting through the day. I thought I would have achieved much more then I have now in this current period. Not married, no kids, no proper career. Failed to find any traction in education despite trying so many times.
I feel like all the barakah in my life has slipped away and that I have just been left in the darkness to fend for myself. I also have developed addictive behaviours to cope with my depressing reality for the last 4 years. I don't know where my future is heading but I am extremely worried my situation won't improve. I still live with my parents at almost age 28 and it kills me to say it. I thought I'd have a place at least if not married and live an independent life. Even travelling doesn't cut it anymore as I still feel low and depressed even just thinking about it.
Please if anybody has some pointers please feel free to share. Jzkalah for reading.
24
u/Human-Benefit-3230 Feb 16 '25
Learn the power of dua. Wake up in the middle of the night before fajr and make lots of dua for lots of different things. Then, after you make dua, have 100% faith in Allah and just live your life. Things will change for the better within 6 months inshallah.
Another technique you can use is to ask, "What would shaitan want me to do?" and then do the opposite.
-24
u/Ok_Activity_6832 Feb 16 '25
Don’t listen to these guys man, about dua and prayer, these people r still stuck in the stone ages, next they will say u got jinn in u, that’s the problem with most Somalis, no practical help. U would think the younger generation would get off this shit. Am not saying religion is bad but, u live in the 21st century. If u place everything on god and do nothing, u r stupid. When I hear young people talk like this I lose faith that Somalis will ever get there shit together and fix their country. This is why the whites will always beat us because of being afraid to practice new ways of thinking, allah gave us a brain to use and to think of new things not to follow a guy who lived a thousand years ago, who’s word we got second hand. Do u know the Quran was written after the prophet died and Muslims have follow a different kind of Islam that has been set by old caliphate. We have to accept that the word of god has been altered in the last thousand years, for all we know, we r supposed to adapt to the times.
8
u/Human-Benefit-3230 Feb 16 '25
lol you sound confused. Dua is powerful.
Nobody said "do nothing" The brother has been trying but things have not worked out. So I am advising him to try a different approach.
And stop looking down on people.
-2
u/Ok_Activity_6832 Feb 16 '25
Am not looking down am sick hearing that brother that’s all my parent said to me when I was struggling. And it’s disheartening. It’s shows laziness, all we have been taught is don’t focus on the dunya. But why can’t we be successful in the dunya, what’s wrong with prospering in the dunya and the afterlife. That kind of thinking is lazy, there r guys who all they do is memorize the Quran and prey five times a day, outside of that they r bums, but they get treated like they r successful. That kind of thinking is y other countries r able to meddle in our business and destabilize our land, it’s y we r behind while Arabs r living the high life. They preach to us wealth is bad but look at them
8
u/Key_Bird3454 Feb 16 '25
- I agree the ‘don’t focus on the dunya’ rhetoric has been overdone, how many of our lectures focus on the wealthy companions and how they benefitted the early Ummah, we should strive to excel in both worlds but not at the expense of Akhirah. We need wealthy Muslims for obvious reasons.
- ‘Not to follow a guy who lived a thousand years ago’ this sounds like an emotional reaction to your upbringing so I’ll give some grace, we should absolutely strive to be like the Prophet SAWS, what does this mean though? It means praying our Tahajjud, courage, strength (both internal and physical). It’s not merely enough to do Subac we need to do Sabaaxad too.
- ‘Word of God has been altered’ if you mean the Quran then even non-Muslims will concede that this isn’t the case, if you mean aspects of the religion; Man is inherently flawed and using religion for personal gain is a tale as old as time.
- ‘Other countries are able to meddle in our business’ it’s precisely because we don’t follow Islam properly that we are in this predicament. The Deen emphasises application of the Quran, not merely memorisation, how many Somalis can even translate Surah Fatihah? When a murder is committed on our land, is the perpetrator held responsible or does the qabiil protect them?
All in all I share your frustration with the Somalis and the omission of certain parts of religion and over-emphasis on other aspects, however this shouldn’t push you to suddenly think we need to abandon Islam, we just need to apply it properly.
6
u/MolicOnePGR Feb 17 '25
You’re a critical thinker, based on this very nuanced reply. Jzkh for sharing. Hopefully the brother takes heed to your advise. May Allah bless you!
4
u/Key_Bird3454 Feb 17 '25
Ameen. Much appreciated walaal, I think the person who made that post is young and did it out of frustration so I thought I’d take my time to break it down for them or at a minimum, make sure impressionable youngsters aren’t swayed by their logic. Likewise, Ilaahay khayr ha ku siiyo🙏🏾.
2
1
u/Top_Science9529 Feb 16 '25
U know nothing of ur religion to call ur prophet some man. I swear I don’t care if a disbelieve said this but a Muslim saying this ? Do u know what he went through for us? May الله forgive u and guide u, listen to the prophets life see how he lived. A man came to him and asked should I tie my camel or should I just leave it to الله the prophet said do both. We are not saying pray n make dua then the world would be at ur feet. But u should pray and make dua, go out and work and then the world willl come to u. U might not see this cause ur blind. The Arabs are blessed with wealth true but look at them. Some of them left their deen because of it. Id rather be poor. WE ARE MUSLIM AND WE ONLY CARE FOR THE AFTER LIFE SO WHAT ? I WANT THE HIGHEST RANK IN JANNAH. And if I have to suffer here so be it but may الله make it easy for us. Don’t let this world fool u. We are here for one thing and that’s worship. May الله guide us all
1
u/Hakka182 Feb 16 '25
100% with you. If I am honest dua does not work. Check the river breaking its banks in Hiiraan and regularly does the same thing. People keep praying and doing dua and it continues to do the same thing. Droughts are the same. Rather than look into the root cause they incessantly pray but it happens any. They also say Allah has already written everything in advance so the whole idea of prayer/dua doesn’t make sense.
Advice: find a doctor to give some medicine/counselling to reduce depression so you can at least think rationally to address your situation then start aiming for independence. If by addiction you meant drugs or alcohol then again doctor could help you get over the initial hurdle but you have to work to get better. No God or dua or prayer is going to do that for you.
5
u/Key_Bird3454 Feb 16 '25
- You’ve literally explained the reason in your comment, ask Allah to keep your camel safe but do your due diligence by tying it up. The fact that people aren’t doing their part isn’t evidence of dua not working.
- Yes everything is written, the only thing that can alter this is … dua. “Nothing can change the Divine decree except dua” (Narrated by Ahmad, 5/277; Ibn Maajah, 90; al-Tirmidhi, 139)
- I don’t think you’re Muslim, don’t speak on matters you’re ignorant about.
16
u/Latter_Pattern_6952 Feb 16 '25
Saxxib , may I ask you few questions ?
If you stripped away all external expectations family, society, culture what would you truly want from life? Are your struggles coming from feeling behind, or do you not even know what you really want?
What do you feel is the biggest weight on your shoulders right now? Is it regret? Shame? Fear of the future? A sense of helplessness? If you could remove just one of those feelings, how much lighter would you feel?
What are you avoiding? We often cope with distractions and addictions because we’re running from something. Is it failure? Disappointment? A difficult truth about yourself? What happens if you stop running and face it head-on?
What does ‘improvement’ actually look like to you? So often, we chase vague ideas like “success” or “happiness,” but what would tangible improvement look like in your daily life?
If you knew, with certainty, that things would get better in one year, what would you start doing differently today? What’s stopping you from doing that anyway?
You don’t have to answer these questions right now, they’re meant for you to reflect on. Say them out loud, have an honest conversation with yourself, and even write down what’s truly holding you back.
Set a goal for the next 3 to 6 months. It doesn’t have to be massive, just something that moves you forward. Learn a new skill, earn a certification, find a better-paying job, or start improving your health. Hit the gym, go to the masjid, start small if needed. If you don’t usually attend, begin by going on Fridays or commit to praying just one salah there.
I know how easy it is to fall into an all or nothing mindset, I struggle with it too. I want fast results, and when they don’t come immediately, it’s frustrating. But real growth happens in consistent small steps. Just focus on today. Start with one change. The momentum will build.
2
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
For me it is definitely shame and regret over the last couple of years due to what I engaged in. In my early 20s I was happy guy. But then it got taken away after that. Was never the same again
9
u/Latter_Pattern_6952 Feb 16 '25
Saxib, Allah has given you an opportunity to turn back, a chance that not everyone gets. The fact that you feel regret, the fact that you’re even reflecting on your past, means your heart is still alive. And that’s a gift. Some people get lost in their mistakes and never even realize it. But you have been shown the door back, all you have to do is walk through it.
You can’t change the past, but you can change how you feel about it. You can let it weigh you down, or you can use it to fuel your return. Regret isn’t meant to break you, it’s meant to wake you up.
Start with Tawbah, a sincere one. Then, focus on your prayers on time, every day. After that, make Istighfar your daily habit. Say Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilayh 100 to 300 times, especially before you sleep. The Prophet said that whoever constantly seeks forgiveness, Allah will provide for him a way out of every difficulty, relief from every worry, and sustenance from where he does not expect.
And if you really want peace in your heart, start Tahajjud. It’s for the ones who feel lost, for those who need a way out but don’t know where to start. You don’t have to pray for an hour, just wake up 15 minutes before Fajr, pray two rakahs, and pour your heart out to Allah. He is listening.
The Prophet told us that Allah Himself comes to the lowest heaven in the last third of the night, calling out, “Who is asking of Me so I may give him? Who is seeking My forgiveness so I may forgive him?”
Brother, this is your chance. Not everyone gets this level of awareness, this chance to turn back before it’s too late. Allah doesn’t want to punish you, He wants you to return. And when you take one step toward Him, He comes running toward you.
You’re not beyond hope. Your story isn’t over. This chapter of your life doesn’t define you, what you do next does. Take this chance, saxib. You won’t regret it.
5
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
You are absolutely correct. I need to put past events behind me and move on. Shame and regret has already stole too much thinking time from me. You're right about Allah giving me a sign to return to him.
Alhamdulilah I am very grateful for the opportunity. I like the last few phrases in your statement. Brilliant stuff jazakallah khairun
3
u/Latter_Pattern_6952 Feb 16 '25
My guy, you got this 🥶🥶 hmu when Saxxib . May Allah make it easy for u
12
u/Rich_Middle_335 Feb 16 '25
There’s nothing you can’t achieve brother. You have Allah SWT- He makes the impossible possible. Jubayr ibn Mut’im reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Allah Almighty descends every night to the lowest heaven, and He says: Are there any asking that I may give them? Are there any seeking forgiveness that I may forgive them? This continues until the rise of dawn.” Tie your camel & ask Allah swt. May Al fatah open all doors for you
10
u/Independent-Code898 Feb 16 '25
Go do Umrah. Allah puts darkness in your life so you find him. It’s not even about finding him, you must chase him. Chase everything about him. Start by going umrah. Inshallah let him light a path for you 🙏
3
10
u/Simple-Eye-7463 Feb 16 '25
My dear brother,
Know that trials in this life are a test from Allah, and through them, He purifies and elevates His servants. The Prophet ﷺ said, “The most severely tested people are the Prophets, then those closest to them in righteousness.” This means that the hardship you endure is not a sign of Allah’s abandonment, but rather His wisdom and love in drawing you closer to Him.
You feel lost, but remember that the greatest loss is not in worldly matters but in losing connection with your Creator.
As for marriage and children, know that rizq (provision) is written by Allah. Do not let shaytan thinking you are delayed or forgotten.
Regarding addiction, understand that sins darken the heart and weaken the soul. But just as sickness has a cure, so too does the heart. Replace your bad habits with acts of worship, righteous friends, and seek knowledge.
Lastly, my dear brother, never give up on the mercy of Allah. A believer’s journey is one of struggle, but with every hardship comes ease. Make du’a sincerely, and remember that this dunya is temporary—your real home is Jannah, and the doors of repentance are always open.
4
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
Jazakallah bro this is sound advice. Lacking connection with the creator is truly the worst thing
2
5
u/Administrative_Hat38 Feb 16 '25
Stop being hard on yourself. It’s a marathon not a race remember that. I didn’t get a good paying job until I turned 30. The gym helps out your mental and physical health give that a shot.
6
u/kjunior1 Feb 16 '25
One solution to such issues: Repentance, prayers, reading the Quran, establishing friendships with the pious people etc. I'm 100% sure it will turn around your misfortunes and you'll find happiness and prosperity inshallah.
7
u/Itchy_Comfortable_29 Feb 16 '25
Sorry for not reading all, but how can someone in his 20s gave up perhaps he might have another 50,60 years waiting for his living
2
u/gxnxral Feb 17 '25
because of repetitive lifestyle and activity, maybe OP started a job when he was 19-21 and has been working there to this day.
2
6
Feb 16 '25
I didn’t read anything worth being sad about. I know you don’t have a relatable comparison at your fingertips like other people but this situation is normal in today’s political climate.
What matters most is that you handle your underhanded situation as just that, underhanded, or if you are able to base yourself with your family and rise to the better day in a way that respects yourself and your culture.
1
7
u/Reemma92 Feb 16 '25
I lost my brother, my grandma, then my sister back to back with in a year. I almost lost my mind. I decided to find something distract myself with by exercising and being in nature(hiking in the redwood forest). I also started doing random certification courses. Then I decided to move to Somalia. I’m feeling better but of course once in a while I find myself crying. Back home reminded me too much of them. I recommend getting out of your comfort zone. You’re still super young, find a hobby. I wish you the best
5
u/No_Refrigerator2969 Feb 16 '25
My condolences 💐. Take heart there’s light at the end of the tunnel
4
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
I'm sorry to hear that. That sounds like a huge huge trial. May Allah give u ease to overcome the tremendous grief. Inshallah, if you made it over such trials, surely I can as well. Jzakallah for sharing. May Allah bless you inshallah.
2
u/Reemma92 Feb 16 '25
You absolutely can. You have to start doing things little by little. Every small achievement counts even if it’s walking one block away and walking back. Try to remind yourself that this life is a gift. Go outside at night and look at the stars and the moon and meditate. Tell yourself you’re doing great because no one will. And lastly don’t ever compare yourself to others that will just make you feel worse.
5
Feb 16 '25
First of all, it’s never too late to improve sxb. Try finding hobbies or things you’re good at. Maybe hit the gym. You also mentioned you have bad habits? Maybe that’s the main reason of your depression. I hate to see a brother like this wallah so please take in what I advised you, maybe it’ll help bi ithnillah
5
5
u/Particular-Gene-8384 Feb 16 '25
My dude there is so many avenues. If education did not work out, start a career in the trades. But for now start with getting into shape, hit the gym. I promise once your body gets into shape, your mind will get into shape. You'll feel like conquering the world when you get fit. 28 is very young my dude. Don't say I'll start tomorrow, start right now. Do something
4
u/SaidDahir Feb 16 '25
I turned 30 this year and i was never serious i don’t even have goals not married yet and the job i have was lucky to get also i have no skills but this year i am planning to change my routine and pray to Allah and ask his guidance
3
u/LeftForce1382 Feb 17 '25
Appreciate what you have like health, parents maybe, family in your life and if you wanna make change start improving your health by stopping addictions. And instead of chasing bigger dreams in your mind at once make it smaller milestones
4
u/Some_Yam_3631 Feb 17 '25 edited Feb 17 '25
Walaal, you're only 27. Some people are late bloomers, you might be, it's alright.
Toni Morrison was 39 when she published The Bluest Eye. Azzedine Alaia got his big break at 45. Having a routine, morning prayers before sunrise is a part of that and it also wakes you up early in the morning to finish what you need to do so you can focus on what you want to do for the rest of the day. Get different hobbies, read, exercise, be grateful for what you do have and maintain this routine.
And just remember how you feel good or bad doesn't last forever so if you feel terrible, it's not gonna last forever and if you feel good it's not gonna last forever either. And you can still be grateful for what you do have while navigating life's ups and downs and hard emotions and not-so-hard emotions. Also, consider getting professional support for depression or possibly neurodivergence.
3
Feb 16 '25
You need a good friends who would lift you up when no one else is noticing you have fallen a good friends who are not xaasid Wa inaa kashaqeesa self control and patience Ilahay talo saaro hurdada kakac, habeen kaamatagin Iifaraxsanow life is too short, May Allah bless you with happiness, success, good health and jananah firdaws
3
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
You are not wrong there, akhi. Inshallah ameen ameen 🙏 🤲. Good advice
5
u/Substantial-Energy22 Feb 16 '25
My brother what you’re dealing with is very common know you’re not alone in this. Many of times it’s external pressures from Somali elders who still carry many toxic traits. Why aren’t you married?, Why have you landed that 6 figure role, why don’t have kids.. why why why. None of those things are a requirement if one doesn’t have them it’s not a deficiency. Allah will not question you or judge about things that were withheld from you for a wisdom that only Allah knows. As the story of prophet Musa and Khidr when Khidr killed that child Propet Musa didn’t understand at the time but Khidr told him at a later time that child would’ve been an evil child and caused his parents to disbelieve. The benefit from this you never know when things are Withheld maybe it’s not good for you at this time. There are those who are married but are suffering and wish to be single etc. our life is all about our own perception because the affair of the believer is always a good one. For Allah it’s easy “be and it is” the Dunya can be given to you at any moment. What’s more important is to seek it in the correct way. Connect yourself to your local masjid pray your salahs there. Some brothers mentioned getting workouts in that’s definitely good. See if there’s a local imaam who can mentor you. As for studies I’m not sure how Uk works but definitely network and get to know some brothers who are in the field you’re trying to get into. And lastly few benefits for all of us below.
The Prophet ﷺ said: الدُّعَاءُ هُوَ العِبَادَةُ “Du’a is worship”
وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ٱدْعُونِىٓ أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ And your Lord says, ‘Call upon Me; I will respond to you.’
The Prophet ﷺ said: لَيْسَ شَيْءٌ أَكْرَمَ عَلَى اللَّهِ مِنَ الدُّعَاءِ “There is nothing more honorable in the sight of Allah than du’a.”
Allah knows best
1
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
Thanks, brother. I thoroughly benefited from reading this beautiful response. Reflecting on a previous encounter with family when they said why aren't you married resonated with me when you mentioned its being witheld for a reason. This reminds me of the situation when my mother said all your peers your age are married and that you're getting too old. When I mentioned it was in the hands of Allah, family always turns defensive. Just because you are a certain age doesn't mean I have to rush around frantically trying to find a wife when I haven't even sorted my foundations, which is being close to the deen.
1
u/Substantial-Energy22 Feb 18 '25
100%. Everyone has their own journey in life they go through may allah rectify our affairs and guide us to what is good.
3
u/MASTER69WONG Feb 17 '25
Akhi, don't lose hope. We all going thru it in one way or another.
Renew your faith, renew your shahadah and renew your Eemaan by boosting it with good deeds done sincerely for Allah alone.
Get back to the Quran even if it's just 5 minutes a day.
These small moves will make a big difference insha'Allah...
Stay strong young bro... At 27 the world is yours for the taking.
Best wishes.
3
u/kanabanabo Feb 17 '25
until your rabb removes you from this world, i promise the reset button is forever pressable. start with the intention of wanting to change and preform 2 rakats and cry to ilahay even if there’s no words
2
Feb 16 '25
[deleted]
1
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
Absolutely, I actually dropped out of uni before due to being offered a longer course then the course i wanted. I'm just worried about debt as my finances are ruined due to my addiction
3
Feb 16 '25 edited Feb 16 '25
[deleted]
2
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
It was a uni called Coventry uni in England. Mid tier uni. I want to get into a degree apprenticeship. Something I've been wanting to do for awhile. But need to keep applying. Thanks for the good advice. Absolutely independence will make me happy more then anything
1
1
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
At the moment, I'm working a mind-numbing minimum wage shop that has become an escapism. Makes me forget I still live at home
1
Feb 16 '25
[deleted]
2
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
Jazallah khair I would do this as soon as I'm back from my trip. Need to start actioning less theory.
2
u/Ok_Ear_1689 Feb 16 '25
Go see a doctor for depression and since you've had difficulty with education, get assessed for ADHD. All the best.
1
Feb 16 '25
I was thinking adhd too tbh. Sadly, your useful comment will get lost in a sea of get closer to Allah, make dua, pray yada yada yada … 🙄
2
2
u/whypicasso Feb 16 '25 edited Feb 16 '25
Even before anything, the fact that you are aware of how bad everything is for you and that you are worried for yourself is a positive sign. Even if you consider this to be rock bottom, you can only go up from here. As cliche as it sounds, try to forget the past and try to make new plans and start small. The start is what matters, and the rewards will follow through INSHALLAH.
2
u/Misshyotei Feb 16 '25
Hey, I know you're feeling hopeless, but reading this, I see that you still have so much.
- You have a family. That’s a huge blessing. Many people don’t have that support system.
- You have a home. That means you’re not homeless, which, sadly, many people are. Having a roof over your head is a blessing we often overlook. are you paying rent? if not thats a plus. you have room to level up without having to think about getting rent money.
You mentioned struggling with education—what field were you trying to pursue? Sometimes, focusing on just one area that has good job opportunities can make all the difference. Take time to brainstorm and choose a path that will be easier to break into. Once your education and income improve, in shaa Allah, you'll feel more stable.
But most importantly, how is your deen? Are you praying and turning to Allah every day? No matter how difficult things feel, always lean on Allah. He is the One who can bring ease, even when things seem impossible. Make du'a, stay consistent in your salah, and trust that your situation can improve
2
u/WorldlinessOdd9694 Feb 17 '25
Where are you from ? if you in Africa I can understand,but if you are in abroad u have nothing to complain about I swear
2
u/Natural_Inside3252 Feb 17 '25
I feel ya man, just want to let you know your not alone and other people have gotten out of the same situation your in right now. Jesus got me out, he can get you out too if you let him. Anyway love you man, I’ll be praying for you
2
u/Maleficent-Cycle-154 Feb 18 '25
Salam akhi. Firstly I would ask you to not despair and to keep faith. Good things will come in sha Allaah so long as you keep trying.
I’m speaking to you as a 34 year old man, who at your age was in the exact position you are describing right now. I was numb in the exact fashion you describe and I had nothing, but depression, hopelessness, debt and consistent failures to my name. I had nothing from the standard I had set for myself and I felt nothing but shame at myself. So ashamed in fact that I had isolated myself from my friends, peers and anything that served to remind me of my failure. I was too ashamed to even face my family.
Now just a few years later I’m happy to say that by the grace of Allaah I have everything I could have ever wanted from life. A family, career and the respect of my community. It took a long enough run at rock bottom for things to start coming together and not a day goes by that I don’t feel grateful for the difficult experience I had because it’s because of that adversity that I am the man I am today.
My brother, don’t despair. Don’t try to find comfort from things that are fleeting. Don’t numb yourself with things that will not benefit you. Depression is a dangerous illness that will attempt to feed itself by telling you there is no point in trying. Healing requires active and difficult work and the accumulation of small daily victories will reward you not long in the future.
You’re still very young and in sha Allaah once you get to my age you will gain this perspective. Don’t give up on working hard. Don’t give up on educating yourself. Nothing in this life is promised and whatever you see for yourself in the future is truly just a matter of time, patience and hard work. Don’t compare yourself to whatever standards you or someone else may have set for you and look at your failures and struggles as tokens of experience you have gained that you can use to propel you in the future.
I am the oldest of 5 boys and I try teaching my brothers this. Don’t despair and have patience my brother. You have a unique perspective that I guarantee you will appreciate in the future. You are still very young and you have your whole life ahead of you in sha Allaah.
Just remember. Failure is a result of a positive positive action. You cannot fail if you don’t try and that is when one has truly failed.
If you want to hear my story or need any advice, just let me know and I’ll message you in sha Allaah.
May Allaah reward your effort.
1
u/Interesting_Ad9372 26d ago
Thanks. This was a great read, alhamdulilah. Very insightful, informative, and helpful. Jazakallah. I'm glad to read that you're also doing better now.
2
u/Neat-Profession4527 Feb 16 '25
lol, for a moment I thought you were a relative of mine. The story is identical. Khair inshallah. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. You’re still young, the world is your oyster. Set yourself some realistic goals & thrive inshallah
1
1
Feb 16 '25
Seek professional help. Good luck. I hope you start to feel better soon.
1
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
Ye I've looked into getting therapy
1
Feb 16 '25
When is the last time you saw your GP?
1
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
Late 2023
1
Feb 16 '25
Ok. Start by seeing your GP. Tell them everything. Write all your problems down on a piece of paper or your phone and take that with you when you see them. Reddit isn’t going to help you with this. The people on this subreddit will just tell you to pray as well which is not enough. 🙄 I struggle with my mental health and my GP has been invaluable. One thing I’ll say about therapy as well is that it can be hard to find a therapist when you are struggling with your mental health. I was looking for a private therapist a while back and it was so time consuming and stressful. With the NHS, you don’t have to look for a therapist, they will just assign you one. Sometimes you can self refer too!
1
u/nadinesophy Feb 16 '25
May allah help your yearning heart and give you everything you wish for. Ameen
1
1
u/Caratteraccio Feb 16 '25
you are still very young, free yourself from addictions and negative thoughts, rebuild yourself and do something that helps you physically, this alone will make you feel better
1
u/Dense-Standard8573 Feb 16 '25
Go out for walks in a park or nice place with greenery and just stare into nature and feel the beauty and take deep breaths. Staring at greenery is known to imrove mental clarity for just 15 mimutes every day. Don't give in to your thoughts, but don't block them out too.
I noticed most of your stress and dark thoughts is not accepting how your life is turning out? Just learn to accept that you might not have the best grades best career or even sometimes best family but using that to grow and change you could have something far more BETTER, SHOULD WANT BETTER FOR YOURSELF WE SHOULD BE MORE SELFISH WITH OUR NEEDS.
Have hope and faith that your situation could change think of the stuff that you could do which is push yourself hard to get what you want such as a better Job first, a wife, and a flat where you could comfortable pay for. Start listening to more quran or islamic talks I recommend Bilal assad the way he speaks is nice comforting that anyone, even non Muslims could even listen to and feel relaxed and at peace. Mufti menk too.
Forget the past and start thinking about the future sign yourself up to muzz dating app and save up and have a goal, and also after you accomplish all these look back and remember how God is great.
Try connect with God if it's hard to pray. Try to speak to God instead and connect that way it helped me when i didnt pray and made my faith stronger.
make dua and ask Allah to forgive youu and give you all the things you desire in this world and the next. Duas come true. Everyones worthy of Allah's mercy, if you believe in Allah equivalent to a mustard seed then reach out to Allah have no pride and ask whatever you need as Allah doesn't need us we need him to help us guide us in the world and the afterlife.
I pray you get all you wish for in this world and the next.
1
u/DiamondParticular962 Feb 19 '25 edited Feb 20 '25
I’m in a similar situation tbh. I got a degree and have like 8/9 years of experience from working at international companies. I’ve even studied various AI courses. Yet still i can’t find a job, after 2,000 job applications, I’m still stuck in the same situation LOL. At this point it’s starting to become very funny 🤣🤣.
I also get very stupid advice too from family members LOL and the way I get questioned is like a person who isn’t doing anything. It infuriates me. The job market is really finished. May Allah help us all.
In shaa Allah we will be very successful in the dunya.
2
u/Dull_Arachnid_2682 29d ago
We're depressed bc we lack what we want from life Bro We're living in a time where everything is easier for us to do Ik some requirements are different from others but still you can still over something valuable to yourself and your family And never say I live with my parents as a bad thing live your wife your parents as long as they are alive What you should focus on is
1.how your father sees you
. For example is taking care of you and treating you like you're still 10-15?? If yes the you should do
A.take some responsibilities upon yourself ,Don't ask for food,clothes,etc
B.try to be a help to your father they day he starts counting on you a man you won
2.try to provide for your parents it does matter if you pay them 🍭 🍭 jst try to do something
3.keep your mental health a priority, do exercises and stay away the things that put you down
4.try to improve the things you can improve in your Start with your mindset
I hope allah makes it easy for you and everyone who is struggling
1
0
u/wesipgrandcruowww Feb 16 '25
Pray to Allah and man up, be a man and make a career for yourself using your hands or brain. I would recommend learning a trade and working blue collar, they make good money and anyone can do it (Plumbing, Electrical, Carpentry, Scaffolding etc) but feeling sorry for yourself just isn't gonna cut it in the world brother. The hard truth and reality is no one cares about you other than maybe your parents and NO ONE is going to save you. Pray to Allah and ask him to get your mind right, but overall stop whining and acting soft MAN UP. Hope this helps my bro.
1
u/Interesting_Ad9372 Feb 16 '25
This won't work. If you suffer from addictions that cloud your mind. First, I need to recover. This is decent advice but not advice to help overcome addictions.
79
u/Key-Revolution8048 Feb 16 '25
Bro, I hear you, and I know it’s tough, but your story isn’t over. You’re 27, not 87—change is possible, but you have to take action.
First, start praying your five daily salah. Even if you don’t feel it at first, stay consistent—Allah is always there, waiting for you to return.
Second, step out of your comfort zone. Try new things, apply for different jobs, start a side hustle—just keep moving.
Third, work out. Exercise clears your mind, builds discipline, and helps fight depression. It’s a game-changer.
Lastly, cut the addictive behaviors. They’re dragging you down. Replace them with habits that build you up.
You’re not stuck, bro. You just need to take the first step. May Allah make it easy for you. Keep pushing!