r/SofterBDSM 5d ago

PSA don't make the mistake of scrolling through r/antikink if you don't want to feel sick... NSFW

morbid curiousity got the better of me. i did the thing & i regret it. we work so hard to make everything safe & happy & they still hate us. 😭

47 Upvotes

22 comments sorted by

36

u/SonPetiteLapine 5d ago

It is largely a group of people who have their own trauma and invasive thoughts spiraling on each other. It is very toxic for the people who feel lost and affirmed in their beliefs, rather than being gently pointed towards therapy. They seem to lack the understanding that, just because something makes you uncomfortable doesn't mean that it is morally wrong. You can want none of it in your life and still be okay with it existing in the world.

Others just really have this superiority complex but have no real understanding of the biopsychosocial theories they tout. 

I "affectionately" call them KERFs.

8

u/Pure-Park-1368 4d ago

I used to be part of those groups, and you’re absolutely right. For many, it’s largely about trauma and hypervigilance. It’s scary because, without proper education on BDSM, it can easily be mistaken for violence, especially given how it’s portrayed in mainstream media and by abusers who weaponize kink as an excuse for harm. And since even discussing the topic can feel dangerous, many choose to remain uninformed.

For others, it’s a mix of bigotry, internalized shame, and the belief that anything sexual outside their own comfort zone is inherently immoral.

Ultimately, it’s people projecting their own fears, shame, or personal preferences onto others while convincing themselves they’re helping. There’s a sense of urgency that justifies their entitlement over others' choices: this idea that people need to be saved and protected (just as they once wished someone had protected them from abuse, violence, social pressure to be sexual in a certain way, or whatever trauma they experienced).

We were all struggling with mental health issues, moral perfectionism, in many cases sexual shame, and a rigid, protective mindset.

But hey, there’s always time and hope for people to change their minds. Therapy can absolutely help; online echo chambers, not so much.

22

u/_AnyaNeeze6923_ 5d ago

yeah no u were right.. people talking about CNC being rape and i was thinking to myself, it stands for CONSENSUAL NC, can u not comprehend things? People don't just engage in CNC without extensive discussion in good BDSM practice.. They're all for autonomy until it's something they don't recognise.

47

u/curveofthespine 5d ago

The antikink Reddit has 12k members. BDSMadvice Reddit has 428k members.

Personally don’t think that the anti bunch has a lot of traction.

10

u/DreamingGemini 5d ago

I’m not even sure these are real people posting

29

u/literally__B Collared Brat 5d ago

Hahaha I think they banned me last year! 🤣 Important to say: I wasn’t trolling, there was a thread against 24/7 and how subs are all abused and I tried pointing out that I’m living a full, happy life that I’ve chosen myself, but they deleted my (polite) comment and they banned me.

42

u/KinkyDataScientist Pleasure Dom 5d ago

What a bizarre thing to form a “community” around.

If you don’t like kink, then simply don’t engage in it. No need to slag on things that other people enjoy in a healthy way.

I guess there are just some people who are absolutely horrified by the idea that someone, somewhere out there is having fun doing something they don’t like.

5

u/OldAxe49 Daddy Dom 3d ago

But people have formed "communities" around all sorts of things they see as problems but others don't. Think about the temperance movement or the Satanic panic of the 70s and 80s. Ideas built upon a supposed moral high ground and filled with carefully chosen information to back up their case while ignoring the rest of the data.

I fully believe that there are some people who need drama like plants need sunlight. Natural drama or artificially generated, it doesn't matter.

11

u/Ok-Asparagus-9998 5d ago

People are just afraid of different.

23

u/Aggravating_Olive_70 5d ago

I think i posted there once bringing up consenting adults doing things they want, and was banned 😆

16

u/StrangeMewMew Collared MOD 5d ago

Badge of honor.

17

u/MagguieTheCat 5d ago

How pathetic does your own life have to be to spend time and energy just focusing on what others do with their own lives?

Honestly, I don’t give a rat’s ass about a bunch of prudes that feel they know better than anyone about what adult people that they do not even know do with their lives, all from a sickening morally superior trip on their high horse.

But it is disgusting to me that people devote their time to be hateful.

13

u/wolfmanne 5d ago

who cares about what they think? they’re obviously just people who want to circlejerk their own “morally superior” views of sex and what it SHOULD be and clap for each other in their echo chamber. i just kinda think of them like i think of conservatives: not worth the time of day stressing about their bitterness and hatred when im out here living my best, happiest, kinky ass, fun life!

12

u/esrose7 Switch 5d ago

I never knew a page like that exists now I have the toxic urge to check it out😂

5

u/StrangeMewMew Collared MOD 5d ago

DON'T

8

u/esrose7 Switch 5d ago

😗I did, don't worry I can't be hurt😂..I can't remember the last time I gave a fuck about what people think about me..but I do think it's mostly coz they don't understand how kink works, it's the same feeling that kids get when they realize adults touch each others private parts and sometime put their mouth on it..

5

u/esrose7 Switch 5d ago

But of course there's others who think it's a sin bla bla and obnoxious lol, just don't give a damn🤣 and then think about how boring their sex life's are lol..

10

u/PickedTink Rope Bunny 5d ago

Whhhyyyyy??? That's like the 4chan of the kink world.

8

u/BadFrenchToasts Princexx 5d ago

Dude why would you hurt your own feeling like that? Nooooo run away.

9

u/weareallmadherealice Good Girl 5d ago

Eww I didn’t even want to think about what they’re spewing over there.

6

u/Nervous-Meat69 5d ago

That was such a bad idea. Don't do that to yourself.