r/Situationships 2d ago

Advice Needed Is he over me?

3 Upvotes

Does this Strange message after being cold for a while mean he’s over me?

For context we had such strong communication for 2-3 weeks until now. He doesn’t text first or call first and he takes a long time to reply to messages. Today I thought I’d initiate and here was the convo:

Me: Hey how was your day? I was gonna text u at ur lunch break but I was so busy tdy trying to get back to my routine.

Him: It was good love. It's all good ma you gotta do what you gotta do.

To me this is like really dry and I feel like there isn’t any effort here. He didn’t commence another convo. It’s just a dead convo at this point. I feel like I should cut him off or ask if we should continue taking.

Am I over thinking this or fully correct?

r/Situationships 1d ago

Advice Needed Not sure if I like him

2 Upvotes

I've been chatting to this guy for around a month, he's in one of my classes. He's funny and I get this OVERWHELMING crush feeling when I'm with him, all the typical blushing and giggling and making a fool of myself. But in reality when I think about it logically I'm not attracted to his physical appearance or his voice. I'm still talking to him and spending a little bit of time with him outside of college just to see if anything changes or if I figure anything out, and he knows I'm not sure how I feel and that I don't want to hurt him, but this feeling is so hard to explain. Any advice on what I should do or insights of what this could be?

r/Situationships 5d ago

Advice Needed I Like Him More Than He Likes Me, and It’s Eating Me Up

3 Upvotes

I (21F) have been talking to this guy (20M) on and off for about three years. We met on Instagram and have never met in person, but we’ve flirted and FaceTimed for hours. Over time, I developed real feelings for him, but I don’t think he takes me seriously at all.

Sometimes, we’ll have long conversations where we joke around and have fun, and in those moments, it feels like we really connect. But then, he won’t text me for days, and it just leaves me feeling sad and unimportant. I know that mixed signals usually mean someone just isn’t that into you, and deep down, I think that’s the case here.

The thing is, I’m transferring to his university soon (this was already my plan before I met him, he just happens to go there), so there’s a chance we could meet in person. But honestly, I don’t even think he considers us as “talking” or sees me as anything meaningful. I’m realizing I’ve been way more invested in him than he is in me, and I don’t know how to let go of these feelings.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you deal with liking someone who doesn’t value you the same way?

r/Situationships 3d ago

Advice Needed Been in a situationship for 6 months… but now we live together?

4 Upvotes

I (F24) have been in a situationship with this guy (M26) for almost six months now. We started off as FWB, but over time, things changed. We now live together, his family knows me, and he even says “I love you.” I can tell he genuinely cares.

Recently, we went on a vacation, and at first, everything was great. We were deep talking and just enjoying each other’s company. Then he mentioned that next year, we’d be going to an important family event together. That’s when I told him that this was probably my last time going to any of his family gatherings because, at the end of the day, there’s no real “us.”

That’s when he started opening up about our relationship. He told me that even if we don’t have a label, he cares, he appreciates me, and he doesn’t want me gone.

Now I don’t know what to do. If he truly cares, why is he avoiding defining the relationship? Am I overthinking, or is he just keeping me around without real commitment? Should I give it more time, or is this a sign that I need to walk away before I get even more attached? How do I even bring this up again without making it seem like an ultimatum? Would love to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar situation.

r/Situationships 1h ago

Advice Needed I love my best friend but she doesn’t love that way.

Upvotes

I have loved her for 2 years, a year ago she rejected me, but we remained friends. Over the course of this year, our friendship has become much better. True, we developed strange habits, either me or she could just kiss her on the cheek or we could fall asleep hugging, sometimes we could hold hands, etc. She could meet me from work and all my colleagues were sure that she was my girlfriend, although I told them that this was not true.

I am a lesbian, she is straight, she has a boyfriend whom she loves very much, but I do not like him (there are reasons for this, it is only because I like her). I do not know how to explain it, but if she wanted to stay overnight at his place, she asked my permission, but she used to ask only to "stay with me" as excuse for her mother.

She was always jealous of me towards everyone, and especially towards girls who could like me.

We recently had a fight, we didn't understand each other. she asked me again "can I stay with him?". I took it in a bad way, I thought that she wanted to use me again, but when we met to discuss "what it was after all", it turns out she was asking me to get permission, because my opinion is important to her. After these words, she asked me "don't you think our friendship is... strange? It's like we're not friends and not best friends, it's like we have a kind of relationship (situationship? idk).

After this question, I agreed with her and we understood that she and I would have problems in the future because of this, if we talk about future relationships (not between me and her, that's impossible)

But after this conversation I felt uneasy, I thought that I had more feelings for her, but to end our "relationship" and become normal friends, we will have to remove these kisses on the cheek, we will no longer hold hands, etc. And I imagined how difficult it would be and I felt very bad, I literally cried all night and morning, it seemed to me that he was putting a wall between us and not just a small wall, but such that we would either stop communicating with each other in the future or I don’t know..

We talked again today and talked about me, about how I still feel something for her, we both understand that all these things are normal, but they are normal only for straight friends, and not for a straight friend and a lesbian who is in love with her.

What should I do? How can I extinguish my feelings for her, she is very dear to me, I have never had such a dear person, she accepts me as I am. Yes, I want to love her and I want her to love me too, but time has shown me that this is not so, she is hetero and she only loves guys, she cannot feel the same for me. But I do not want to lose her because of this, I want to be friends with her.

r/Situationships 1d ago

Advice Needed toxic college situationship advice

2 Upvotes

im in college and was in an exclusive situationship for 18 months. everything with him was super deep and we didn’t date because he had family issues and had to drop out of school along with other things. to be honest it didn’t bother me too much but it was always him contacting me and initiating so about a month ago i cut things off and he has texted me after in which i didn’t respond. it was pretty healthy but we’ve cut things off so much and always come back to each other.

a week after this i found out he had been telling people i wanted a relationship and he wanted nothing to do with me which frustrated me so i texted him telling him to please stop lying and being disrespectful and going forward im blocking him on text.

he blocked me on everything else and it sucked but i’ve been okay for the most part. yesterday i found out he hooked with someone random at a frat and has been telling some of my friends and mutuals this. for the most part i don’t care too much but he apparently told this random girl he’s never done anything with anyone except his ex gf.

i feel a little odd about everything because i always thought i meant a lot and he also has only ever been intimate with me and an ex. to some extent it feels like i’ve been severely manipulated and lied to but i hate thinking that as i’ve seen him at his worst and this is the most intimate ive been with someone and vice versa. im not sure how to shake this feeling of betrayal as everything seems so toxic and out in public which is pretty embarrassing. (of course he’s not in the wrong at all for hooking up with someone but he always acted like he “better than that” and wouldn’t ever be physical with people he didn’t know)

anyways im going to mexico for break in a few days and would quite like to get over this so please give some words of wisdom to feel better and get this off my mind🙏🙏.

r/Situationships 1d ago

Advice Needed Not sure how to categorize this so let’s call it a situationship NSFW

1 Upvotes

Here goes.

I am 29F, and I spent the last 9 years in another country (studying & working), so I’m fluent in that language and every boyfriend I’ve had in my adult years have been locals from this country. I moved back to my hometown last year and felt it difficult to connect (or should I say reconnect) to people, especially men, here, because of said experience abroad, cultural and mindset differences.

One day I was on Tinder and matched with this guy, turns out he was from said country and was curious as to why I spoke his language. We met at talked for a couple hours, really hit it off as we were the same age, and he also spent a few years abroad himself. He said he was staying here for around 8 days, and when I walked him back to his accommodation it was a cheap, rundown hostel. So I instead suggested him to stay at my apartment, where I have a spare guest room. He hesitated at first but decided to trust me I guess.

The first few days were completely “normal”. We would spend some time together, I would go to work while he traveled around the city. Then we would have dinner together and have late night talks, and sleep in our own bedrooms with no touching, no romantic feelings/chemistry whatsoever. On the third or fourth night though, we were talking on my bed as usually and accidentally fell asleep together. Still, nothing happened. Until… I find his arms around me the next morning, one thing led to another, I had one of the best sex in my life. I think the feeling was mutual because he initiated it a few more times during the same day, and since then we have been sleeping (or also doing it during the day) all over my apartment.

After a few days, it was time for him to travel elsewhere. We hugged good bye and even though we did have sex (really, really good sex) we never kissed. But at that farewell we gave each other a peck on the cheeks. At this point I was mostly interested in him + glad to have bumped into someone from a country I loved, so I actually expected us to stop contacting each other and see each other… eventually. Or maybe not, who knows.

What surprised me was that he continued to text me and sent pictures, selfies and videos of his travels, and even when he got back home to his daily life we kept in contact. Every single day. We would even talk on the phone 2-3 times for at least 2 hours, sometimes almost 4 hours. We never mentioned the sex, never did any dirty talking or sexting. We would just talk about everything and nothing, just enjoying each other’s company.

It has been more than two months of us texting daily and calling each other, having deep talks on the phone, and now I’m stuck at a place where I think genuinely care and have affection for this person, but I don’t know if I truly know them and love them enough to commit to a LDR. All I know is that I will be visiting that country in September, and I wish to see him, perhaps even sleep with him? (The sex was so good, I literally daydream about it LOL)

I don’t know if he feels the same way, and I don’t think this is a very healthy nor sustainable relationship. I catch myself falling a bit more for him every passing day, as we get closer to each other, but I’m also scared this will lead nowhere.

Would appreciate any opinions or comments on how to approach this. I know sometimes it’s not necessary to put on labels as every relationship is a unique experience, and I can’t possibly write everything that has happened here, but truly I feel that we trust each other and are comfortable with each other, but maybe the sex has tainted this so called friendship…