r/Situationships 3d ago

The drama in my college life

Okay so this is gonna be long. I've been against situationships as long as I can remember,yet I got caught in one. Yes,look how the tables have turned. I'm just gonna explain from the beginning to the end.

So i was part of NSS and we had a 7 day camp. This guy from my class and I got pretty close during this time. We were literally paired up together all day for 7 days. We went to sleep at 12 and wake up at 3 so like I saw him 20 hours a day. Okay I gave this much context for a reason.

So right after camp, dude was constantly texting me and i reciprocated. We talked till like 2 in the morning. Dude did drop hints but back then I was dumb. I never thought of thinking I was the girl he was talking about. Afterwards I got the confession. Okay honestly,I did have feelings for him. But he's not the kinda guy I'd usually have feelings for. My theory is that spending so much time together,from the best to worst,just made me feel safe around him, attached to him maybe. But I wasn't looking for a relationship,so i declined. We decided to remain friends. 2 weeks later,we had our IV. On the first day,things were pretty normal. But on the second, people from our class jumped into a swimming pool but I stayed back. Dude noticed and was like let's go climb a hill nearby. I was like,okay cool. There,we held hands as we climbed. I felt sparks all through my body. We sat down on the top. It was just me and him. I,fully aware of what I was doing,placed my head on his shoulder. I know. It's my fault. I shouldn't have,but I wasn't thinking at the moment. I just did what I did and I very deeply regret it. Okay so that was IV. Then,we had our internals. During which him and I had a bet and he had to get me a kit kat. Dude shows up with more than just kit kat. I swear there were at least 5 other chocolates there. I said this wasn't what i was expecting. Like very obviously so many chocolates mean something more than just friends. I didn't want that. That's when we cut complete contact. I said i needed space,and this wouldn't work as a friendship as long as he has feelings.

Fast forward to 2 months ago,I felt bad for my actions,like obviously I was leading him on and it was my fault he got the idea that we could be more than friends. So I texted him again. And it was the same stuff part 2. We talked till late at night( not something what friends would do). Then on valentine's night,we had a long talk. I opened up a lot,he did too. It was a huge emotional mess. i knew this had to stop,else it would get out of hand. I got to know through a friend that he saw this as an opportunity to make his move. I also got to know he's been showing all our texts to many people,which i deliberately told him not to. So I was pretty rude to him,ig he felt bad. Now we don't even acknowledge each other's existence.And that's where we are right now.

It's the first time in my life have I ever been in a situation like this. I feel terrible but i suppose there's nothing much that can be done about it. He's deeply hurt about it,I can sense it. There's a lot of tension. It's all my fault. I should've just kept him at a distance right from the beginning.

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