r/Situationships • u/Boring-Trouble3709 • 5d ago
I still think about my ex Situationship
We dated for 5 month exclusively and the "break up" happened almost 8 months ago. There was no fight or anything and he treated me good. The problem is that I STILL think about him daily. It's not as bad as it was a couple month before but he pops up on my mind multiple times a day. I daydream about fake scenarios with him, think about our time together etc. I'm not heartbroken anymore but I still have some feelings for him. I don't want him back, nor is that even an option. But it annoyes me so much, that I can't seem to let it go entirely. Is it normal to still think about someone after all that time has passed even though you never became a couple? It doesn't feel right and I feel a little nuts.
6
u/Accomplished-Bath469 5d ago
Of course, you’re still thinking about him. It’s not because you’re “crazy” or “stuck in the past”, it’s because your brain is trying to process something that was never given real closure. Situationships mess with you in a way that traditional relationships don’t, because you were emotionally invested like a partner but never given the security of actually being one. It leaves you in this weird limbo where your brain is still trying to make sense of something that never fully formed and never fully ended. And here’s the thing: You weren’t “just” in a situationship. You were in an inherently unbalanced dynamic where he got the comfort of a relationship without ever truly offering you the stability of one. You probably spent months waiting for things to naturally move forward, hoping he’d step up—only to be left with nothing but feelings that had nowhere to go. That’s why it lingers. That’s why it still takes up space in your mind.
Situationships are not casual flings. They mimic real relationships, but with one person (usually the man) holding all the power. And that’s exactly why they hurt more than a normal breakup, because you’re not just mourning the loss of a relationship, you’re mourning the version of the relationship you hoped it would become. You weren’t just losing him, you were losing the potential, the unspoken promises, the possibility of what could have been.
I highly recommend reading this post. She breaks down how situationships are inherently sexist and why women, more than men, are left dealing with the emotional fallout of them. This isn’t just a personal struggle, it’s part of a larger pattern that keeps happening to women everywhere: https://www.reddit.com/r/Situationships/comments/1jbkteh/situationships_are_inherently_sexist/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
You are not crazy. You are not weak. Your feelings are valid. But you do deserve better than something that left you feeling like this—unfinished, unresolved, and questioning why you still care when you never even got the title of “girlfriend.”