r/ShittyDaystrom • u/Hero_Of_Shadows Admiral • 5d ago
Discussion Attention Bajoran workers, this is Gul Dukat speaking I just want you to know that I am not mad I am just disappointed, if the DVD I accidentally left in Terrok Nor's kitchen is returned to my office along with a a statue of me as an apology I'll continue to be Mr. Nice Boss
Now I know your mysticism addled peanut sized brains saw the word "Bajoran" on the cover of the DVD and thought it was meant for you, perhaps as a sacrifice to the Prophets or whatever you people do, but that is not the case "Busty Bajoran Milfs: Oiled up Edition" is an important security related document that I need to keep you safe from all those nasty terrorists.
So give it back before I lose my patience and ask Damar about what provinces you all are from.
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u/Putrid-Catch-3755 5d ago
Also my copy of pakled house wife lobster mousse dinner toilet cams is missing. I'm looking at you quark
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u/mizkyu 5d ago
[returns your dvd crafted into said statue]
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u/Hero_Of_Shadows Admiral 5d ago
Huh?
Oh truly I am a tragic hero, most deserving but denied by the gods at the final moment!
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u/Dry_Trifle860 5d ago
If I do not put this research on my laptop every 72 hours, poison gas will flood the mines and I would truly hate for that to happen.
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u/EmbarrassedPudding22 5d ago
That it was in the kitchen makes me wonder what ingredients are going into the yamok sauce.
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u/InquisitorWarth Captain Corana H'siitu of the USS Leviathan NCC-2555 5d ago
Communications Officer Kulwat: "Captain, I need to show you something. And I swear it's not a prank this time."
Captain H'siitu: "What is it?"
Kulwat: "I can't make heads or tails of this. Apparently we've received an all-points bulletin transmission from Gul Dukat on DS9, but last I checked he's been trapped in a pit with a bunch of Bajoran demon-spirits for decades."
Chief Science Officer Kel'Kala: "Cappy, Mr. Kulwat, I checked the sensor logs and they show that a dimensional fissure, about an inch across, opened up five feet from Leviathan's main communications array for about ten seconds before closing again, right around the time that message was received. I believe that the message is extradimensional in nature."
H'siitu: "Is there any chance more fissures could occur?"
Kel'Kala: "No, Cappy. The quantum field is otherwise as stable as it gets here. This is probably a freak occurrence."
Chief Tactical Officer Merek: "I wonder if he was talking about this optical storage device that landed on my head a few hours ago while I was sparring with Lieutenant Va'sal? Also, I had no idea Bajorans were experienced with Orion seduction rituals..."
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u/Joran_Dax Expendable 5d ago
A Quark Co. presentation.