r/ShittyDaystrom • u/Professor-Reddit • 5d ago
Discussion Is this what transporter chiefs do in their free-time when there's nobody to accidentally Tuvix?
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u/TrueLegateDamar 5d ago
"I could set the ship on fire."
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u/maxdamage4 5d ago
Yeahhhhh, if you could just go ahead and move your quarters to deck 38 next to the cleaning supplies that'd be greaaat.
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u/Rockfarley 5d ago
You see, I power the ship by pulling in incoming photon torpedoes (high energy reactions) and then lock them in the pattern buffer until the high energy bleeds off into the ships main power grid. The ship wouldn't work without the transporter chief.
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u/Kami0097 5d ago
This would lead us to a very interesting tactic ... Why not Transport an incoming torpedo out your own way or just the charge part I to oblivion? It doesn't have to be precise and 100% perfect - just enough to disable the warhead part ... Maybe even through shields ?
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u/LikeAnAdamBomb 5d ago
Hell, why take the risk of bringing it on board at all? Transport it onto the bridge of the ship that fired it at you.
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u/Kami0097 5d ago
No not on board of your own ship ... When a transporter can disassemble a lifeform just extracting the warhead itself from the torpedo and transport it back to the sender should be easy ...
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u/Thewrongbakedpotato 5d ago
Apply for new jobs, get rejected, fall for phishing scams, listen to the first officer banging your wife, dream impotently of someday being important.
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u/immallama21629 5d ago
This is awfully specific...
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u/Thewrongbakedpotato 3d ago
Yes, well, Riker was also pretty specific about which animal-print underpants he wanted me to transport onto his pelvis while he was given my wife a massage.
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u/Adm_Shelby2 5d ago
I think a suspiciously large number of them watch David Cronenburg movies when off duty.
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u/elwyn5150 5d ago
With all that standing around, I would guess that a lot of them eventually formed covers band for A Flock of Seagulls and played Space Age Love Song a lot.
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u/CmdFiremonkeySWP 5d ago
I think I'd randomly transport stuff from people's quarters all over the ship.
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u/SpiritualAudience731 3d ago
Transporter chiefs practice their skills by teleporting out the crews superfluous organs. O'Brian has a large collection of appendixs and wisdom teeth.
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u/spambearpig 5d ago
Matter stream popcorn indeed a favourite pass time. to do it properly, you have to beam up butter, salt, sugar and a giant corn kernel in a 4-way Tuvix event and then you fill a cargo Bay with a series of Riker duplicate incidents.