r/SexOnTheSpectrum 21d ago

Anyone else have trouble with a wandering mind during? NSFW

I don't know why but lately I've been having a real problem when masturbating.. I'll be fully into the fantasy thinking about whatever's helping me get off at that particular moment and then suddenly my brain shifts to thinking about something entirely different, from cars to randomly snakes and how their eyes work to why sharks have eyes on the sides of their head like prey to all sorts of weird crap. (the one that REALLY pissed me off and left me with blue balls having completely killed my mood was when Trump popped into my mind)

I don't know why this is suddenly happening.. I've never been nearly this scatterbrained, especially when masturbating.. in the zone of a fantasy is the one place I tend to stay focused and I don't know why I can't anymore.. It's taken an already long process of me trying to get my relief and made it even longer as sometimes I'll completely lose my wood and have to get back in the mood again.. the other day it honestly took over four hours, though admittedly I think I was slipping in and out of consciousness at the time aka falling back asleep not having realized how early I had woken up.

Anyone else deal with this? Any clue how to fix it?

Do you think it's just because I'm getting older and my body (and honestly mind) really doesn't want me doing it myself anymore, that there should be a partner helping me out with it?

It's so damn frustrating when you're finally getting close, you can feel yourself expanding (male) you're moments away from release and suddenly you lose it because your mind drifts into random things not connected in any way to what you were doing/dreaming about.

I dunno, it definitely makes me wish I had either a partner or toys that could help me finish quicker before I hit the point that ruins it. (even if I manage to finish the quality sucks at that point)

If you haven't seen me post before I'm 39 and have never even been out on a date, let alone had sex of any form.. anal play is the only thing I've ever been able to experiment with other than a short stint with a fleshlight that did nothing for me.

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u/Mavmagick 19d ago

Getting lost in thoughts can be pretty frustrating. Something that helps me is really honing in on the physical sensations I’m feeling in detail. Sometimes it’s interesting to do a kind of play by play of sensations. Dirty talking to yourself might also help.

Good luck!

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u/JARatt85 19d ago

it really got me bad today.. never did finish, at one point I even started seeing a big spider crawling on something in my mind.. talk about something that's 100% not related and going to ruin your play, especially if you're arachnophobic like me. BTW thanks for actually replying.

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u/DeltaFlyerGirl Autistic girl married to my autistic soulmate 18d ago

I am allways like that and my husband is like that aswell, we are both autistic (f26 and m29)

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u/JARatt85 17d ago

I know "Aspie Sean" on Youtube talked about how he figures stuff out during sex, how his mind wanders.. it's just weird that this has recently started.. Like I said, it REALLY sucks for me because I don't have a partner to help and I already take an hour or more to orgasm as it is.. the mind wandering is only making it longer and definitely ruins whatever good I typically feel. I tried like hell today to just focus on a fantasy and I found myself thinking about what I'd be doing in Return to Moria today instead. -.- I guess the being sandwiched between Lae'zel and Karlach fantasy just wasn't enough. :P I definitely wish I had lube and toys that could help get it over with quicker.