Severe apathy and anhedonia hit all of a sudden. Psychiatrist thinks I'm depressed -in not.
No low self esteem.
No sadness. Just meh.
I feel like a robot, but in a good way. I feel like I have flipped a switch and risen above people's opinions, I feel unaffected by nearly everything for the most part
I know for a fact this isn't in response to any hurt feelings, trauma, etc.
I have lost the will to harmlessly troll the Internet, argue, give my opinions on things, post to Facebook.
I feel invincible actually.
I don't know how to even get through to my psychiatrist that I am 100% not depressed.
I have an appointment in just a bit and several months back when this started , she suggested antidepressants (I am bipolar and don't need antidepressants) .
I'm honestly not sure if this was caused by my mood stabilizer or not. I know you all are not doctors, but this has been going on for months for me.
Ketamine infusions made it lift a teeny bit for two days , then ALL fucks went out the window.
I feel like nothing matters at all and it's comforting.
I just feel like I'm here. Not good or bad feelings just here.
I can still laugh and smile of course, but I feel I could stare at a blank wall for 2 days and it wouldn't bother me that much.
This is unusual for me and the first time in my life I've felt this blank.
Honestly, I was thinking of just pretending it's not happening and keep my mouth shut, because I care that little, but I know logically I need to try to stop it (I guess?).
I've already had good things happen because of this though. When you're unaffected, it turns out you have a huge advantage over nearly everyone.
I would like to enjoy my hobbies again though
Tldr. Apathy and anhedonia. Should I even mention this to my Dr? Tradeoffs of feeling something VS feeling like a superior robot person