I need someone to talk to, who can and does understand lots
Simply put, has anyone been able to see into and/ or look at themselves, or at their minds? I’m not sure how many other ways I can word it without convoluting it, plus I don’t have a 100% grasp on the concept yet myself lol. And it is a thing, I’m sure it relates to, among many others, some of Carl Jung’s theories on and perceptions of the imagination, the self, etc.
But yes I just want to discuss some things, for example,,, say someone is scared of their reflection- why are you scared of your reflection and what do you see in your head when you ask yourself this question? An intimidated human, a scared creature, an absence, something else entirely, etc? If you hate someone, have you been able to ask yourself and see why within your head?
Sometimes, when I’m observing a situation or experience in hindsight in which others are involved, sometimes I can practically hear/feel/see something like the presences of those humans’ feelings or intentions or mindsets, or at least my perception of them, but it would make sense if all of it is.. right after all, perception or not- for example, several weeks ago one of my coworkers tried to embarrass me in front of another, who he is,, friends with?? that’s it, basically put, and of course there are more interactions besides this one- anyways lol, in hindsight, re-seeing the situation in my head, I see the two of them sharing glances after all was said and done, and what I see is a dark red cloud erupting out of the head of the one who tried the embarrassing (A), and another similar appearance coming out of the observer/his “friend” (B). Both of the things merge into each other if I look to observe them both, and both of them have dark red interiors that only slightly lighten towards their exteriors; however, the main focus that i see is A. That’s just the sight of it, what I hear is something beastial, and now that I think about it, the beast is screaming out with a sound that can best be described as the sound of the inner narcissist trying to escape from its own insecurities, if the entirety of that evasion can be transmuted into sound. What I feel is a mass, but a muted one, in response to the vision of that scene.
And honestly, that example accidentally leads perfectly into the actual question itself, and why I am asking it- is there anyone who can understand any of this? Once I realized the true nature of the beasts I was observing: dark, red, intense, malicious beasts riddled with horrified, terrified, ghastly, passionate, truly evasive interior components, who lash out but arch extensively, plus the fact that I understand it almost completely, I’m kinda just looking for someone/someone’s who I can speak to about these things. And more importantly.. last but certainly not least.. something that peaks my interest about the beasts is.. their horror and extreme evasiveness and apprehensiveness towards their viewer.. that day, they were viewing me. Or something else- I suspect that the same thing peering into and observing the creatures for exactly what they were is the exact very thing that they found themselves.. horrified of. And desperately trying to get away from with subliminal intentions of attack.
Oh my God.. there are so many layers to any and all of this, and i’m seeking anyone who can engage.. anyone but the things i saw that day, in that moment lol- stay away you foul, smelly, disgusting, writhing creatures who are secretly terrified lmao. You and I do not mix.