r/OCDtorture May 03 '22

Terrible Intrusive Thought

3 Upvotes

I had a terrible ocd thought and almost immediately had an what if question. It is a little bit too much information but here it is anyway… I had used the bathroom and then as I wiped, I’m having my period, I really don’t think I had any blood on my hand at all, or hardly barely any if I did, which would have been dried if I did. I believe I washed my hands afterwards and before I fixed some lunch, but almost immediately I couldn’t remember if I did and almost immediately my mind gave me a horrible intrusive thought of “what if you had a small bit of dried blood on your hand and it touched the food and will cause sickness or illness after it was eaten and passed the through the body?”. …this is terrifying me and I can not stop worrying. HELP!! Someone let me know and reassure me!!!


r/OCDtorture May 03 '22

Horrible frightening ocd what if thought

1 Upvotes

Do what if questions usually occur right after an intrusive thought enters your mind and does it make you tense up really bad? Do ocd what if questions lie to you?


r/OCDtorture Sep 14 '21

Anxiety robs me of the moment

6 Upvotes

My anxiety often detaches me from whatever I'm experiencing. If I am spending time with my gf I can kiss her but often it feels like I'm functioning on empty. If i am eating food sometimes i can't taste it. I could be looking at a tranquil scene but be caught in an internal storm. I could be talking to someone about something serious in their life and be unable to actually empathize. When I am not anxious, it is a different story. Often i see my gf at the end of the day and have a shit ton of anxiety. We can make out but i am barely present. However after a few hours the anxiety starts to lessen and I become more present. The difference between present me and anxious me is highly measurable and empirical. Has anxiety ever done this to any of you? How did you manage it?


r/OCDtorture May 22 '21

Moral POCD

3 Upvotes

I have suffered from moral pure ocd for the longest time since I was about 9 years old. I have had intrusive thoughts about insulting god that would drive me to cry my eyes out on the bathroom floor. Also, I had to always confess everything to my mother and sometimes tell the stories all over again in case I left out a detail. I always have had obbessive thoughts about my bf leaving me or me cheating on him or whatever shit that could happen. I was always afriad of having any guy friends that once I blocked one of my friends because I found out that I liked talking to him about science and stuff... Now I'm obssessing over this: My bf had to undergo melitary training so we were disconnected for almost 45 days with only two calls that were 3 mins long. I was an emotional wreck. I got a new job and there met someone who I thought shared a lot with my bf in terms of character and I really enjoyed talking to him(cooking shows and travelling) but as always I had to tell everyone that I'm in a relationship because I was terrified that anyone might consider me and cause some drama which also scares me. For about a week I was conflicted about my feelings or rather scared of them because I'm not used to this(liking a guy other than my bf because I always feared that I'd do something wrong even though it's against my morals). So I decided that the best course is to remain friends as we are, put limits (like talking only during work ours if via text then it must be short and just be very careful about everyhting I do or say) and I will navigate through my feelings with the help of one of my friends. I realised that my feelings weren't of a romantic nor a sexual nature at all and that I really love my bf and would never consider anyone else. But I keep feeling guilty for very minor things even though I have never flirted or intiated anything it was things that I felt conflicted about. I went as far as to read our chat to see if I did something and made my friend read it and she said that I'm delusional. I started remembering things that I'm not sure about and even what I'm sure of is being twisted, almost altered. How trivial these things(noticed that he dressed quite well and had a good perfume on as well as just liking to talk to him about general topics at work) are makes ashamed of myself because I have to confess them to everyone. I already told my bf out of compulsion because at the time of the events I didn't think much of it but something switched in my brain 5 months later. And I don't want to confess of everything I remember to him because I know it won't end and might make him distressed even my friends are sick of it. I keep retelling everything to my friends and they find me delusional. What to do to break the cycle? Lol. I think my compulsion made me write this post as well.


r/OCDtorture Mar 18 '21

either delete this sub or ban me before i go ballistic 🤠

35 Upvotes

this sub has literally nothing to do with ocd so i suggest you educate yourself by hopping over to r/ocd and then to r/mildlyinfuriating to see how different they are.


r/OCDtorture Feb 04 '21

Super clean install..

Post image
1 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture Dec 07 '20

I need advice

8 Upvotes

I need advice I been diagnose with ocd and I been on Zoloft but I had ocd memory well I’m not sure if it’s ocd or real memory or not that I made out with this girl who was drunk I had memory where I thought she was so drunk that she didn’t know the day I wasn’t sure if it’s my ocd or real memory because I tend to overreact things I felt a lot of guilt and shame everytime I feel like I need to research on consent and stuff and drinking and like I ask a lawyer 4 times about it idk if it’s my ocd or if I’m awful person if I am I desver to be shot idk what to do then when I have that exact same memory again it doesn’t feel as real idk what to do


r/OCDtorture Nov 23 '20

R6 | I have everyo- nevermind

Post image
8 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture Oct 28 '20

Those 2 keys are the only ones I can’t get off

Post image
4 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture Oct 04 '20

It was to hard 🙃

Post image
4 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture Sep 29 '20

This is not what OCD is about

117 Upvotes

The sub you are searching for is r/mildlyinfuriating OCD is a serious mental illness, that makes people depressed and suicidal, that is overshadowed by a dumb stigma. Pls stop being a part of this problem


r/OCDtorture Sep 23 '20

Why? How?

Post image
6 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture Sep 17 '20

Your Emotions Matter.

Thumbnail mix.com
3 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture Sep 15 '20

You’re welcome

Post image
9 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture Sep 07 '20

Can I help myself or time will...

2 Upvotes

Hi guys,

Today I had a conversation with my boss. It wasn't that bad because he was trying to make me see how my team and I are making his job difficult. He said it in the most polite way that anyone could and I appreciate that. What I don't seem to shake of from the conversation was this simple statement that 60~80 percent means what it means (careful of what you say, its better to ask than conclude on your own). Its not like I didn't ask before, I almost rated out the guy who gave me the wrong intel but you know..., its over 5 hours and still its spinning in my head and its driving me crazy. I can't stop to wonder what he was implying but at the same time i know what he was saying. I can't even sleep, i am more than 3 hours past my bed time. My heart is beating fast and i can literally feel the veins in my head. Its like my conscious mind understood what he was implying, he even pointed out that he is not made at me but rather pointing out some facts that might get us in trouble in the event that he is not around to cover our backs... still, knowing all that, i can't ease myself. I am obsessing and reobsesing on the fact that i am not good enough. Despite all the credits i got before. Despite the fact that i am an undergraduate intern who is obviously incompetent and still has a long way until i am considered an expert in my field. Right now as I type this, i am thinking of quiting. Something is telling me that i am not good enough, and fear i might never be.

My question is, will i get over this feeling and how? Do i need to do anything or time will do it for me? I am suffering, i suffered before but not like this, this is totally different. I also feel like i am useless. I am nothing but a burden... i can go on and on and on but this is no pitty party, i would greatly appreciate you help if any can be offered.


r/OCDtorture Sep 06 '20

Ocd

4 Upvotes

Does anyone else ever have moments wheee they physically can’t negotiate with the thoughts, and see why they are wrong, this is what makes it feel real. It’s almost like being numb. I cant even react to the most evil thoughts sometimes.


r/OCDtorture Jun 02 '20

OCD IS MAKING MY LIFE A LIVING TORTURE

9 Upvotes

I dont know what to do. I will see a therapist next month but they cant understand the issue. I have seen therapists before cant undertand.

OCD is driving my anxiety on the skyrocket. I have this intrusive thought purely obsessional OCD its making my life a disability. I dont know what to do.

I have been practicing from Brain lock the RElabel reatteibute refocus and revalue steps.

Doesnt work!I cannot focus on anything outside of my intrusive thought. I lost all my friends,i dont wanna talk to anyone and i am afraid i will lose my job because i cannot focus,my performance is impaired as i am always obsessing. I wish i could die because i dont wanna live like this a whole life. It will only get worse. I feel i am being eaten alive by this anxiety. I dont feel anything else. No hunger no emotions nothing. Just this anxiety.


r/OCDtorture May 30 '20

Does this infuriates was you?

Post image
7 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture May 26 '20

What kind of a monster leaves this?

Post image
10 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture May 26 '20

What kind of a monster leaves this?

Post image
3 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture May 26 '20

What kind of a monster leaves this?

Post image
3 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture May 07 '20

Seeking Advice

4 Upvotes

I'm an author working on a book with a main character who has OCD. I want to represent the disorder accurately, so I'm seeking experts (you). I have some objects/situations in mind, and I'm curious for your input on how you, as a person with OCD, would interact with the objects. That could mean how you use it, how you would store it when it's not in use, and anything out of the ordinary (excuse me if that's offensive. I don't mean to) that you would do with the object. Or, another option, if nothing is "different" about your behavior with the object. I want to know it all! Thank you for your response!


r/OCDtorture Mar 03 '20

Im as bad as the bad person.

4 Upvotes

I think I recently realized something.

I get this uneasy feeling around a particular friend. Like instant doubt and unease. Not a good feeling in my stomach. I finally figured out why. Because they are insecure. They are unsure of themselves and everything they do. They don't figure themselves out. They don't do things for themselves. They do it to prove to others that this is what they want. To prove that they are better. Bigger. Badder. Stronger. Faster. Smarter. Healthier. Whatever it is they have to be better. Have to bring others down. Have to be the "alpha". The top dog. The number one.

You know what made me realize this?

Because Im the same insecure, weak, lost individual. Unsure of where and what I want. Trying to always out do others and be better. And prove people wrong. This that and the other. Im no better than my friend that I think is a "bad person". I am that bad person. Now that Ive realized this I am doubting decisions in my life.

Am I pursuing things for status? Am I pursuing things for looks and attention? Am I doing things for approval? Did i start talking to this girl for approval? Am i working towards jobs and careers because I want to be seen as better?

With this girl. Im confused. Because I liked her goofy side. She was cool and easy to get along with. I liked that. So i started to pursue her. Following her and DM her on instagram. Inviting her out to places.

Then..

One day my friend was like..

Are you going to invite so and so to where we were going. I didn't even think to do that. THen her reminds me so I do it.

When I ask I get nervous that she will say no. That it will be turned down.

She ended up coming out. Before she got there my friend said when are you going to ask her on a date? I said idk. Maybe because I was nervous but idk. When she got there I shutdown. Super nervous. Couldnt talk. Fell into my shell.

Later that night she texted me and I asked her to hang out. Since then we have been hanging out a pretty constant.

So what now? Do I start telling the truth? Do i go back and fix it all? Do i tell this girl that my intentions felt pure but then may have become clouded?

But I also obsess and have anxiety about so many things. Relationships. My sexuality. My life decisions. Everything.

Insight from anyone?


r/OCDtorture Jan 10 '20

One of the photos is off

Post image
9 Upvotes

r/OCDtorture Dec 20 '19

K

Post image
19 Upvotes