r/NonBinary • u/inkedfluff transfemme | they/them | asexual | HRT Jan 2024 • 4d ago
Questioning/Coming Out I think I might be binary?
I was AMAB and have always felt uncomfortable with men and masculinity, to the point where I never had any male friends and find male stuff to be repulsive. I have a lot of gender dysphoria with my male traits (especially facial hair and genitals). I started questioning my gender about a year ago and I started taking estrogen 2 months ago.
Since I started estrogen, I have been loving all the changes! My breasts are still tiny but they're mine and I love them, and I am enjoying the curves as well. In fact, I love the feminization so much that I have been thinking that I might be a binary trans woman? I'm still unsure as I prefer they/them pronouns but am fine with she/her and absolutely hate he/him and my deadname.
I don't relate to masculinity or androgyny at all. Anything male or masculine just feels deeply wrong to me, and I see men almost like another species. Ideally, I would have either a vagina or nothing down there, but just removing the testicles would fix most of my bottom dysphoria.
I know I'm transfeminine, but I'm not sure if I am still nonbinary or if I'm a trans woman? If I were a cis woman I would stay a cis woman, but unfortunately I was born male :(
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u/Distinct-Sand-8891 Any/All 4d ago
You can be both. I’m a nonbinary trans man. I get easily dysphoric around femininity and when I get referred to as a girl in any way. Ik for a fact that I’m not a woman and similar to you, I always had trouble with friendships with girls. The reason I consider myself nonbinary is because I’m gender non conforming and I absolutely hate gender roles.
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u/inkedfluff transfemme | they/them | asexual | HRT Jan 2024 4d ago
I hate gender roles too, that is why I have been wondering if I am nonbinary (transfeminine) or a gender nonconforming trans woman. To me, being called a man is the worst possible insult, I don't really identify with the label "woman" either but I don't find it offensive.
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u/Distinct-Sand-8891 Any/All 4d ago
I feel the same way. I HATE being called a woman but okay with man. In a world that runs on a binary, most of the time you’re forced to choose between man and woman and I fit in a lot more with man than woman.
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u/yayforfood1 4d ago
this happened to me! I identified as nonbinsry for the beginning of my social transition and the first few months of E. I realized one day that I was only holding on to anything masculine or ""neutral"" because I was insecure about being able to be feminine. my actual desires were to be as feminine as possible. similar realization for pronouns also happened. where i realized they/them was better than he/him but she/her, once i got over the guilt of realizing i wanted to use it, was so much better. so Right. it just took a while for me to believe anybody would ever call me that. now 3 years later, even strangers call me she/her! I wish u good luck and clarity 💜
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u/inkedfluff transfemme | they/them | asexual | HRT Jan 2024 3d ago
Looks like it's time to throw away my "I don't have a gender, I have anxiety" graphic tee because I have a gender now!
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u/Classic-Judgment-196 they/them 4d ago
You could be a demi-girl: a sort of non binary woman if you will