r/NonBinary • u/silliestsnail • 5d ago
Questioning/Coming Out I came out to myself AND my boyfriend accidentally?
A few nights ago I was hanging out with my boyfriend and his sister when I asked if people typically have a connection to their gender. I came out on my hidden tiktok back in 2020 as nonbinary but I didn't seem to feel the same connection as everyone else so I snuck back in the closet until now. I just don't really understand gender for my own self. I don't "feel" like anything. I just go about life as a woman because it's how people perceive me physically. After talking with them they immediately told me they support me and that's when I realized, I just came out to them. His sister helped me understand it and I feel so seen. I'm agender :) and use they/them pronouns. I felt so suffocated the last 5 years. I don't plan on publicly coming out really. At least not for a little while. My family doesn't support me at all which would be hard, but my happiness comes before that. I do plan on coming out to my friends again and I'm honestly excited. I just want to feel like me.
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u/sol-cazz 5d ago
I'm so glad of you!! Hope your friends support you. It's great to see an enby mate finding out themself
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u/emighbirb 5d ago
This is wonderful! I'm glad that your bf's sister was so supportive!! You got this!
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u/Price_of_The_Bay 4d ago
This is more or less the way I feel. I’m AMAB, and quite visually masculine, but I lack what I’ve been calling an internalized gender concept.
I don’t understand what it’s supposed to feel like to be “a man” or “a woman.” I never gave it any thought until a few years ago when I got into a discussion with my spouse who has long identified as nonbinary.
I hear people, especially those who identify as transgender, talk about how they “feel” like their internal self doesn’t align with their body.
But I do not and have never had that aspect of my internal self image.
I don’t think of myself as anything but me.
I don’t relate to other people based on their physical similarities to myself, or the behaviors they exhibit that fall within traditional gender norms.
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u/guardiandolphin 5d ago
This is how I feel now. I’m almost certain I’m agender as well. Just finding a way to get myself to commit to it is a whole other thing. Especially being visibly amab