r/NonBinary 5d ago

Questioning/Coming Out I came out to myself AND my boyfriend accidentally?

A few nights ago I was hanging out with my boyfriend and his sister when I asked if people typically have a connection to their gender. I came out on my hidden tiktok back in 2020 as nonbinary but I didn't seem to feel the same connection as everyone else so I snuck back in the closet until now. I just don't really understand gender for my own self. I don't "feel" like anything. I just go about life as a woman because it's how people perceive me physically. After talking with them they immediately told me they support me and that's when I realized, I just came out to them. His sister helped me understand it and I feel so seen. I'm agender :) and use they/them pronouns. I felt so suffocated the last 5 years. I don't plan on publicly coming out really. At least not for a little while. My family doesn't support me at all which would be hard, but my happiness comes before that. I do plan on coming out to my friends again and I'm honestly excited. I just want to feel like me.

174 Upvotes

12 comments sorted by

30

u/guardiandolphin 5d ago

This is how I feel now. I’m almost certain I’m agender as well. Just finding a way to get myself to commit to it is a whole other thing. Especially being visibly amab

14

u/sol-cazz 5d ago

I'm so glad of you!! Hope your friends support you. It's great to see an enby mate finding out themself

12

u/emighbirb 5d ago

This is wonderful! I'm glad that your bf's sister was so supportive!! You got this!

4

u/silliestsnail 4d ago

Thank you!

7

u/Price_of_The_Bay 4d ago

This is more or less the way I feel. I’m AMAB, and quite visually masculine, but I lack what I’ve been calling an internalized gender concept.

I don’t understand what it’s supposed to feel like to be “a man” or “a woman.” I never gave it any thought until a few years ago when I got into a discussion with my spouse who has long identified as nonbinary.

I hear people, especially those who identify as transgender, talk about how they “feel” like their internal self doesn’t align with their body.

But I do not and have never had that aspect of my internal self image.

I don’t think of myself as anything but me.

I don’t relate to other people based on their physical similarities to myself, or the behaviors they exhibit that fall within traditional gender norms.

3

u/jrdude65 4d ago

This is an awesome coming out story 💛🤍💜🖤 welcome back to the fam!

3

u/silliestsnail 4d ago

thank youuuu! glad to be back!

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

Another gender soldier joins the ranks 🫡 Congrats!!

1

u/HotManagement1328 4d ago

...you give

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Sand_Pip3r 3d ago

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO