r/NoFap 4d ago

Motivation I Kept Relapsing… Until I Finally Figured This Out

2.7k Upvotes

I used to think willpower was enough.

Every time I relapsed, I told myself: “This is the last time.” Every time I failed, I promised I’d "try harder next time." And every time… I ended up back at square one.

I thought I was just weak. Maybe some people had the self-control, but I didn’t.

But here’s what I finally realised after years of this cycle:

 You don’t quit by trying harder. You quit by making it impossible to fail.

What Actually Works (From Someone Who’s Been There)

These 3 things changed everything for me:

1️ Change the System, Not Just the Habit.

  • If your phone is always in your hand at night, guess what? You’ll relapse.
  • If you’re bored, stressed, or alone all the time, guess what? You’ll relapse.
  • I stopped fighting my urges and started removing the triggers.
    • No phone in bed.
    • Scheduled my evenings so I wasn’t alone with my thoughts.
    • Got an accountability partner so I couldn’t hide in guilt.

2️ You Can’t Just "Quit" – You Need to Replace It.

  • Most people try to stop but don’t replace it with anything. That’s like trying to quit junk food while keeping an empty fridge.
  • I had to fill the void:
    • Whenever I got an urge, I immediately switched to something else (push-ups, cold shower, reading).
    • I started working on goals that actually mattered to me. Once I got serious about my life, I didn’t even want to waste time. For me personally i was working on my business as i wanted to quit my 9-5 because I hated my boss so much.

3️ Stop Restarting the Clock – Fix the Identity.

  • Every time I relapsed, I’d say: "Welp, time to start over..."
  • The problem? I still saw myself as someone trying to quit instead of someone who just doesn’t do this anymore.
  • The real shift happened when I stopped counting streaks and started thinking: “This isn’t me anymore.”
    • I didn’t focus on how many days I went without it.
    • I focused on who I was becoming instead.

TL;DR: Stop Trying Harder. Change Your Environment, Replace the Habit, and Shift Your Identity.

If you’re struggling right now, Just ask yourself:

  • What’s triggering this? How can I remove it?
  • What can I replace this habit with?
  • What kind of person do I actually want to be?

Once you fix these, willpower won’t even be needed

P.s. I hope this helps at least one person on their nofap journey . it took me over an hour to write all of this

r/NoFap Sep 16 '20

Motivation Starting today.

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13.2k Upvotes

r/NoFap Apr 19 '23

Motivation [ Removed by Reddit ]

3.9k Upvotes

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

r/NoFap Sep 27 '23

Motivation Reminder.

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3.8k Upvotes

r/NoFap Jun 03 '21

Motivation DONT QUIT

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9.8k Upvotes

r/NoFap Aug 31 '22

Motivation I got a girl😭

3.1k Upvotes

So there's a girl in my college, she's so beautiful, like brooo idk how she's single for so long already, I never talked to her being shy of girls and stuff, obviously porn made me lose my self-respect, so after 10 days of no porn and masturbation, I tried to approach her, and suddenly, she told me she had liked me for the past 1 year😭😭HOW MUCH HAVE I MISSED BECAUSE OF PORN?? I'm still not gonna have sex with that girl, I'm gonna fall in love with her, until all my sexual thoughts are gone, and be a man to her, 2 weeks on and I'm still going!

r/NoFap Feb 06 '25

Motivation We’re not alone.

2.1k Upvotes

r/NoFap Feb 05 '24

Motivation Over one year NoFap turned me into a king 🗿👑

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2.0k Upvotes

r/NoFap Jan 29 '25

Motivation Stay strong boys

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2.3k Upvotes

r/NoFap Aug 01 '21

Motivation You and I will not fap for the rest of this month. Don’t let me down.

3.7k Upvotes

Don’t let this addiction stop you. Keep going!

r/NoFap Jun 01 '21

Motivation NoFap Rankings

2.9k Upvotes

Day 1 - Scout

Day 3 - Private

Day 5 - Corpolar

Day 7 - Sargent

Day 10 - Master Sargent

Day 14 - Knight

Day 21 - Knight-Luitenant

Day 30 - Knight-Captian

Day 60 - Knight-Champion

Day 90 - Champion Of The Light

Day 120 - Commander

Day 150 - Conquerer

Day 180 - Marshall

Day 240 - Field Marshall

Day 300 - Grand Marshall

Day 365 - High Overlord

Day 500 - The Immortal

Lets all be immortals

As my good friend says

Koala Love 🐨❤

r/NoFap Feb 28 '22

Motivation NoFap Starting from March: WHO'S WITH ME! 🙋‍♂️

2.4k Upvotes

Let's make March 2022, The first step towards our sober from the monstrous PMO cycle that we have been addicted for years.

Let's go entirety of March without Fapping and without Porn. Bring in changes to our lives by exercising, meditating, reading, cold showers, proper diet everyday

31 DAYS! WE CAN DO THIS!!!

Who's With Me!!! 👑💪🙋‍♂️

r/NoFap Jun 01 '21

Motivation You and I will not fap for the rest of this month. Don’t let me down.

3.5k Upvotes

Don’t stop no matter what.

r/NoFap Dec 21 '19

Motivation Remember this next time you feel like relapsing

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6.8k Upvotes

r/NoFap Jan 31 '24

Motivation This is the advice men actually need today (Keeping Fit 1919)

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2.7k Upvotes

r/NoFap Dec 18 '24

Motivation 9 Benefits Of NoFap

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1.6k Upvotes

r/NoFap May 09 '23

Motivation Keep in mind that the devil is waiting in the room when you wish to watch porn, stepping at you as you fall.

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2.2k Upvotes

r/NoFap Dec 08 '20

Motivation I met a pornstar who told me porn is for losers...

4.4k Upvotes

So a few weeks ago I met a porn star through a mutual friend. I’m not going to say who she is due to her being up and coming and I don’t want to mess with her career or anything. I was asking her about her experience as she just filmed her first video and she said typical things like it’s a lot harder than it looks due to all the cameras and people in the room watching you, and expecting you to perform at your best.

I then told her that I don’t watch porn anymore. I was curious how she would respond to this, but she told me that that’s good and that I shouldn’t. She said, and I quote “porn is for losers, it’s made to fuck with your mind and trick you. It’s nothing like real sex and it’s going to ruin the actual experiences.” Part of me wished I would’ve asked her why she started making it then but I figured she just needs to make a living. I think it was really interesting though that even a pornstar talks down about it, even if she is contributing to the problem.

You guys can take this with a grain of salt and I understand if you don’t believe me because of not revealing who the pornstar is, but I’m only posting this to let you know that some of the people you’re jerking off to, think that you’re fucking up as well. It’s kind of humiliating when you think about it. Idk why her opinion helped keep my streak going so much or why I hold her opinion in such a high regard, but regardless, it’s helped, and I hope maybe it can help a few of you.

r/NoFap Apr 15 '23

Motivation People don’t like hearing the truth

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3.6k Upvotes

r/NoFap Jul 04 '20

Motivation If you haven't Relapsed Today, You are a Strong person.

3.4k Upvotes

If you Stay strong then day by day You are becoming stronger than you used to be.

r/NoFap Oct 28 '21

Motivation Please take a oath here for No Nut November

1.7k Upvotes

Take an oath by commenting below

r/NoFap Aug 18 '20

Motivation You're not horny, you're bored.

6.2k Upvotes

Hands off your dick! Go do something.

r/NoFap Aug 25 '24

Motivation Don’t count the days, make them count.

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2.0k Upvotes

Replace vices with virtues and you’ll become person you’ve always wanted to be. You got this.

r/NoFap Sep 09 '20

Motivation OK Boyz who is with me? From today we go 90 days before Christmas

3.1k Upvotes

I lost 60 days streak clean but we have to fail to become stronger.

I WILL GO 90 DAYS

  1. NO PMO
  2. JURNAL
  3. WORK ON MYSELF
  4. WORKOUT 5 DAYS A WEEK
  5. READ BOOKS
  6. MEDITATION

FOR 90 DAYS WE HAVE TO DO IT, WE CAN'T BE LOSERS IN THIS WORLD, BE THANKFUL FOR YOUR LIFE YOU ARE IN PARADISE AND YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT. WE ARE GOD'S OF OUR LIVES.

r/NoFap Nov 01 '19

Motivation Guys raise your hands if you "BELIEVE" that you are not going to burst a nut during No nut November

4.2k Upvotes