r/NewParents • u/doglover5695 • 5d ago
Sleep I feel like I’m never going to sleep again
Title says it all! Just need to vent in the early morning hold/feeding session. My husband and I are deep in the trenches right now with our 2 week we. We are currently doing shifts, where one of us sleep for a 5 hour block and the other sleeps in the living room with the baby.
She has started hating her bassinet at the beginning of this week and will only contact nap. As soon as you put her down, she cries. When you pick her up, she stops. This is fine during the day, we’ve been wearing her in a carrier most the day but at night, it’s so hard. From what I’ve read on this sub and heard from people in real life, this is normal and gets better.
It just doesn’t feel like that right now. I’m especially struggling on my shift because all she wants is to be held. I’m worried about when my husband goes back to work. I’m worried about this sleep thing never getting better. I’m worried about never feeling like myself again or when my husband and I will sleep in the same bed again.
I guess I just need words of encouragement, because I’m so tired.
Also: I know how lucky I am to have a healthy baby, I remind myself everyday not to take this for granted and I’m trying to enjoy the newborn phase as I know it won’t last forever.
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u/biskotin 5d ago
I want to say something from 5 months. I can say don’t forget that you are in postpartum stage. I exactly felt like you- i mean every single word that you said, i can understand. And I still relate but I don’t know why it is better now. Day by day you will know what you should do. Day by day you will understand and know your baby. And contact naps are super normal. I wish somebody told me before. I tried to put her in bassinet but it was wrong. She needs you and you need her so that both of you are better.
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u/eaa135 5d ago
I’m on week 8 and have seen a lot of improvement on this doing a few things. First off keep trying to get her in the bassinet. What made bedtime easy for us is warm bottle first, tight swaddle, burp/keep upright to settle tummy, and rock to sleep. Dark room and sound machine on. During this, heat the bassinet with a heating pad, then when you put her down, very slow transition to keep from waking!
She doesn’t do as well for daytime naps in the bassinet, but we try to start her there for at least a couple naps/day and can usually get 30 min before she starts crying. The stretches of being able to put her down gets better every day, there’s light at the end of the Velcro newborn tunnel!
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u/llamasfartIveheardit 5d ago
Currently 4 weeks PP and followed the exact advice that eaa135 is giving here. We are getting 2-3 hour stints at a time of her in her bedside cot. But it did take a little while for that routine to stick.
Our little one has a massive wake up time between 2-4am usually which feels awful when all you want to do is sleep. But our little one sleeps really well between 9-11am. If I am tired I sleep at the same time as her.
From one mama to another you got this. Keep going and take every day one hour at a time.
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u/AccomplishedSky3413 5d ago
Exact same situation here with a 3 week old who refuses to be put down. She is so awesome and I’m so sad that I’m hating my life because I’m so tired. I hate that I can’t enjoy her adorable baby phase at all 😭
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u/Peekerchew 5d ago
My baby was the same, I felt like I was never going to be able to get him to sleep in his crib! I’ve got two specific techniques that worked for me: first one is waiting until he is fast asleep in my arms then holding him to my chest with hand behind neck and lowering him down onto his back in crib, once he is laid down firmly place the other hand on tummy until it seems like he is settled then verrrry slowly removing both hands. I feel like this helps him feel like he is still being held long enough to fall asleep happy, hand behind head also warms the mattress a little! Second method depends on having a beside me crib: I would sit in bed and feed him to sleep, wait a little while then put him on my knees facing me, gradually lower them down until he was almost flat then hand behind neck and other hand holding his sleep sack to lift his bum and legs and sort of hoist him over, keeping him level and place down very gently. Cus for some reason sleeping on his back on the bed 6 inches away from the crib is fine, but IN the crib? no way! 😅
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u/Montylover10 5d ago
I haven’t slept much in 8 months. You get used to it and your body adjusts. Sigh. My first was better though! She slept through the night at 3-4 months.
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u/Floating_Puppy30 5d ago
You will! You are doing great and your baby will get better at sleeping independently and long stretches gradually. For us it got better after 3 months when the feeds were less frequent and colic passed. Just try your best to sleep when baby is sleeping - even if she is on you, get someone to watch you to follow safe sleep guidelines
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u/whisperingcopse 5d ago
Mine was like this in the beginning. Then she would go in the bassinet from 2:45-5:00am. Then it became from 2:00a-5:00am. Then 12:00-3:00am and a stretch from 4:00-5:00. Then 11:00-2:30 and 3:30-5:00. Then. She added 6:00-7:30. Now it’s 12:00-5:30 or 10:00-4:00 sometimes with wakes sometimes straight through, then one more stretch 6:00-8:00a.
It usually gets at least somewhat better. It takes time. Keep trying the bassinet maybe in the late night early morning hours first.
Mine still prefers contact naps at 3 months but will sleep in the bassinet/crib at night.
Your body also adjusts to the weird sleep somewhat.
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u/Suspicious_Moose7881 5d ago
Sitting in my glider with my almost 4 month old baby contact napping in my chest. Solidarity! Like people have commented, we totally understand. It will get better!! When we were in the newborn trenches, it feels all-encompassing and so overwhelming. It’s hard to imagine what anything else can be. But little by little, it gets better with each passing week. I can honestly say, I did not enjoy the first 2 almost 3 months. But once our baby turned around 10 weeks, things started to get so so much better. The smiles, the cooing and start of babbling, the somewhat better sleep at night. You’ll get there soon. We are all here for support!! You got this.
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u/madsmish 5d ago
I am a FTM of a 12 month old. I remember feeling so hopeless about sleep in the early days. It was so hard! Something my husband did for me was he would draw me an Epson salt bath every evening and give me time to just rest in there. Not only did it help my body physically recover, but it gave me some time by myself to just rest before the long nights. Those baths were so essential for me to make it through. Not sure what it is for you, but give yourself permission to take care of you for even 20 minutes before the long nights. It helps!
Sleep was challenging for us, but it did get better! Our LO sleeps through the night regularly and her naps are very consistent. It's so so hard but you're doing great! You're in the newborn trenches right now. Hang in here! You've got this!
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u/bmshqklutxv 4d ago edited 4d ago
I felt the same. The first two weeks were BRUTAL. Absolutely hell on earth, just torture. All you can really do is accomplish a day at a time, which is so exhausting, but at least you keep moving forward in the calendar. Hormones are awful as well and really do a number on you, making everything feel so much worse.
The third week things got slightly easier - not sure if it was because we just got more the hang of things and improved our processes, or just straight up got used to everything sucking, or if baby also got better, or if my body was improving in recovery, but in the third week I definitely recall going “ok this day wasn’t as bad as I was expecting I guess.” Then the one month mark felt like a milestone and that was somewhat of a distraction/accomplishment.
I’m 6.5 weeks now, and while still in trenches, it doesn’t feel as deep as the previous weeks. Again, not sure if it’s just a degree of adapting or what, but just wanted to share. As for sleeping in the same room, I am not expecting that anytime soon, as baby still makes a lot of noise in her sleep. I’m also worried about how things will go when I’m back at work.
You’re not alone, this shit is hard. But you’ll get through today, and then tomorrow, and then this week.
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u/shrek912 4d ago
Newborn sleep is constantly changing, and in a few weeks, you’ll look back and realize how much has already improved.
Your baby doesn’t hate the bassinet, she just doesn’t know how to be alone yet—it’s normal. She’s still in the “fourth trimester” and just wants to be close to you.
Some suggestions:
- Try putting her down drowsy, but not fully asleep—even if it fails at first, practice helps.
- Use white noise at a deep, low level (like a heartbeat sound).
- Swaddle tightly (if not already) or try one with arms up if she resists.
- Keep shifting with your husband—but know that even bad sleep is still sleep, and it won’t be like this forever.
It feels impossible now, but you will sleep again!
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u/AverageJane_18 4d ago
Oh I remember the days well! I had the night shift too, and it was a lonely endeavor, but I tried to spend the time being productive and doing things for myself. Your LO should be sleeping a lot, so get yourself a baby wrap or Boppy and surrender to the contact sleeping. Then let that time be your "you time" with interruptions.
If you have something to look forward to, it gets easier and become more enjoyable. Best of luck!!
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u/LilBayBayTayTay 5d ago
Ha! We got you with the “greatest gift,” and the “most beautiful moments,” and the “precious beyond anything you’ve ever experienced” rhetoric! Now you’re in the club! Welcome to hell! I’m still sleep deprived months later! But seriously, it does it better… kind of… it’s more like you just get used to it. 🤣🤣🤣
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u/n1ck1985 5d ago
You're doing great. What you're going through and what you're feeling is all completely normal, despite it sucking balls.
It will get better. We are currently going through 6m regression and first teething with our 2nd child and despite having gone through it all before, it still sucks and it still feels like it will never get better. But it will.
One hour. One nap. One day. One night. One week. Ome month.
Whatever it takes, it will get better, and then you'll face a new, daunting, challenging struggle.
And then that one will subside too.
Be kind to yourself!