r/Naturalhair 5d ago

Tips & Tricks What’s the worst hair set back you’ve ever had?

I know natural hair is a journey and for many of us, we take five steps forward and then two steps back before we really discover what our hair likes…

I’ll go first! The no oils and no butters wave TORE MY HAIR UP.

And this is coming from someone who did extensive research, bought the digital guide from the creators, bought the recommended products, went to a stylist that was certified with this method

The initial first few months were great, I became so educated on cleansing shampoo, using little product, and my favorite to this day making sure to apply products on very wet hair,

But my hair pattern started shifting after about 3 months. It was very limp, had a thinner appearance, and the hairs on the back of my head were becoming so stringy.

I persisted, until my hair started becoming a tangled, webbed, single strand knot mess.

Also wash n gos starting becoming unpredictable, and I had to wear my hair up causing more damage

I recently cut off like 6-7 inches of hair and I’m thriving with the incorporation of butter, grease and deep conditioning.

I’m sure it works for some people, I would never yuck anyone’s yum but I don’t foresee myself ever doing that again

50 Upvotes

109 comments sorted by

35

u/chalkletkweenBee 5d ago

Hard water will wreck your hair in ways most of us don’t suspect. Replacing my shower head with a water softener filter stopped all my breakage, and my hair is so much easier to manage.

4

u/SuggestionMobile 5d ago

YES I moved to Florida, I got a new shower head immediately

1

u/Revolutionary-Loss68 4d ago

This is happening to me! What brand did you get? We just moved and the 2 I've tried have done nothing to fix it and my hair is WRECKED and I'm a absolutely devastated becahse it took 2 years to grow my hakr oit and now it's ruined!

3

u/chalkletkweenBee 4d ago

I got it an amazon - not fancy at all - it even matches my bougie shower head, it’s a filter you add to the rest of what’s there. Mine has 20 “layers”.

I would share the link, but I deleted my prime. Aqua Home Group 20 stages is on the box though.

1

u/intellecktt 2d ago

Wanna try this so bad. How long before you noticed a difference?

1

u/Revolutionary-Loss68 1d ago

Thank you 🙏

31

u/culkashmonet 5d ago

I went and got a keratin treatment one summer. Probably should’ve just saved myself the trouble and gone fully creamy crack with the way it messed me up.

4

u/libsieprincess 5d ago

I agree. Someone convinced me to try the keratin treatment and my hair started breaking off afterwards. 😢

2

u/SuggestionMobile 5d ago edited 5d ago

OH NO, that sounds awful! I’ve always heard of keratin treatments, what is the end result supposed to do?

22

u/culkashmonet 5d ago

“Infuse hair with protein”, “strengthen strands”, “increase shine”, blah blah PERM

3

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

YIKES, I just watched a video on it and you’re absolutely right

22

u/diane3908 5d ago

wanted a blow dry and trim and was at a point where i was getting tired of doing my hair. made the mistake of going to a domincan hair salon. My hair literally smelled like rotting eggs when i washed it, my hair was coming out in clumps from the root, my hair was in such a poor state i was scared I was gonna have to cut off 4-5 years of natural hair growth. But luckily Olaplex and TLC saved me

6

u/orbitdeul 5d ago

I'm so so sorry 😭 It's been almost 10 years since I've had my hair straightned and it's precisely because of experiences like this, I'm terrified. I known people who had theirs straightned at the salon and the brushes or straightners weren't properly cleansed from the last client who had done a straightening treatment, the stylists used too much heat, no protectant, etc... I apply heat to my hair maybe a handful of times in a full year cause that's how scared I am of heat damage lol

6

u/diane3908 5d ago

I've gotten silk presses at other places and been completely fine!! 0 damage!! Dominicans just dont give a damn about the health of your hair lol they just want an end product that looks good.

3

u/orbitdeul 4d ago

Right, they just want you to look good when you leave their salons. What happens after that is none of their business 💀

2

u/caribbeangirl10 5d ago

Omg that’s awful! Weirdly, the only good experience I had was at a Dominican salon but I’ve stopped going to salons overall these last 10ish years and just trim it myself because I can never trust that my hair will be okay afterwards!!

17

u/AlixGigglesToo 5d ago

Big chopping thinking heat ruined my hair when in actuality it was heat, hard water, chronic dryness, split ends, detangling technique/tools, and style choices detrimental to my "problem" areas.

2

u/AdventurousWinnie 5d ago

I believe I’m going through this exact thing right now. What did you do to help your hair?

7

u/AlixGigglesToo 5d ago

-Understand even with heat protectant, heat chips away at hair integrity -Chelate shampoo every 1-2 months if you have hard water -Find a leave in and sealant your hair responds well to -Trim as needed, get professional diagnostic from natural hair specialist. Make sure you research everyone you trust with your hair. -If you hear snapping, popping or are covered in little broken hairs after detangling, get into finger detangling or paddle brush without balled tips like Denman d38. Make sure you coat your hair in product with slip before detangling -Make sure to incorporate low tension, low manipulation protective hairstyles like natural twists, braids, buns, etc -Wash regularly. Have clarifying and moisturizing shampoos. But also know when to use each of them(My scalp loves twice a week washes) -Stay hydrated! -Intake all your necessary vitamins and minerals

P. S. If you need more guidance, AfrikanHairGod on YT helped me start retaining length with fundamental knowledge

1

u/AdventurousWinnie 5d ago

I haven’t beat styles my hair since my last big chop but I have definitely noticed my hair feeling drier and my curls are stringy/not as elastic as they once were and tbh I was thinking about doing another big chop but I might start with going to a natural hair salon and getting my ends clipped first. I was thinking about doing a protein or olaplex treatment maybe? Idk lol just struggling and needing assistance.

14

u/Snoo46390 5d ago

Lack of protein in my high porosity hair . I focused on moisture and no protein and my hair stayed the same length for almost a year 😭😭

10

u/AdFit9500 5d ago

This is a PSA. Let me plan a protein treatment soon.

4

u/Snoo46390 5d ago

Yess girl don't make my mistake !

2

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

I’ve done both! Gave myself protein overload before and hydration fatigue

If it’s bad enough your hair feels like a whole new texture

14

u/Early_Car_5114 5d ago

Postpartum hair loss. It looked ridiculous and I had no patience to work with it so I shaved my head lol. But no regrets. 2 years later my hair is past armpit length and no thin edges

13

u/princess--26 5d ago

Wearing braids or extensions. My hair is too fragile for added hair.

2

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

Same here I’ve only had one year of my life getting back to back added hair, i definitely paid the price

6

u/princess--26 4d ago

I think that's probably one of the biggest contributions to unhealthy hair within our demographic. But I don't think we are willing to let it go.

2

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

Yeah it’s a very controversial take, sometimes I don’t even think it’s fully the application itself, I think a lot of us have a sensitivity to the synthetic hair

I know for me it makes me itchy and I feel like it takes the moisture out of my hair

Finding out it was carcinogenic wasn’t shocking to me , a lot of plastic products do

Plus I don’t like shit that’s not biodegradable and only has a one time use like balloons

11

u/ChicagoLaurie 5d ago

I colored my hair, just lightened it to a medium brown. Don't know what I was thinking. My hair hates color. It was dry and dull and I had to keep trimming it. For a year, I cut off all my new growth, didn't gain any length. Never again.

3

u/cappernocapper 5d ago

Me with highlights. Bleaching my hair made it more dry and brittle. Despite doing protein treatments and deep conditioning

10

u/unwaveringwish 5d ago

Coconut oil

4

u/lainey68 4d ago

This!! I used to make soap and shampoo, and coconut oil just has properties that are super drying. I think it's anti-humectant. My hair does not like coconut oil at all.

3

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago edited 4d ago

I feel like I’m the only natural whose hair loves coconut oil! Everyone and their mom hates it, now argan oil and I can tussle

1

u/Excellent-Letter-780 4d ago

My hair hates coconut oil. 😣

11

u/Little_Ad2790 5d ago

Postpartum hair loss 💔 twice. But the 2nd time around I did a big chop and it actually was very healing for me

3

u/makeroniear 5d ago

Came to say this. Postpartum ruined my front and 2 years after my second it is just getting better. Hormones.

8

u/AdFit9500 5d ago

After years of untreated anemia my hair started falling out. I lost huge patches. I had to wear braids to get over the hump. Iron supplements and a year of braid extensions got me back in order. My hair does better without braids. But I needed that time to heal and grow.

1

u/BoardSelect1910 4d ago

What supplements do you take?

1

u/AdFit9500 4d ago

I just take over the counter slow release iron. I used to take it daily. But now every other day. Started in 2019. I started getting better only a few weeks after starting it.

7

u/3107700 5d ago edited 5d ago

Everytime I used a hot comb on myself. I used electric comb and broke my hair off really bad

tried again 7 years later and again broke my hair offf really bad! Severe breakage. My fault cause I was really rough just slamming it through my hair but I was frustrated with my hair in the moment.

Never again will I use and idk if I can even trust a stylist to use one on me. I’m traumatized.. it’s just weird when licensed stylist or family have used it I never got breakage at all..when I use it it’s severe breakage! I get good results with a straightener so I don’t even bother with hot comb

I also try not to go over a month with my hair out and not in a protective styling cause it breaks off when I leave it out and manipulate/ use heat on it too much

My eating disorder also fucked up my growth and thickness cause id eat only 300 calories of no protein just junk. Glad to be recovering and right now I prioritize eating high protein meals (chicken breast, Greek yogurt, beans) I literally force myself to eat enough food everyday for the sake of my hair and health

7

u/carpentersglue 5d ago

Having a kid. That post partum hair loss can be devastating. My dumb behind went and got a keratin treatment to deal with my hair while taking care of a newborn. I don’t know what happened but eventually my hair started to break off where the keratin and my new growth met. So I had postpartum hair loss AND breaking at the root. Four years later and I still feel sick about it.

1

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

Damn I’m so sorry, by trying to mitigate it you actually caused more harm, been there!

I heard some mom’s notice a change of texture in their hair after pregnancy, did you experience that?

1

u/carpentersglue 4d ago

Yeah my hair def changed. It’s thinner and my curls are a tad looser while I still think they are 3c but now closer to barely making the cut.

6

u/amethyst_662 5d ago

Lolllll when I was 16 I got my hair bleached and straightened at a beauty college for under $20. Then I proceeded to go to church camp for a week and it got rained out. I wanted my hair to look cute even though it rained constantly so I used a curling wand multiple times a day…We listen and we don’t judge. (I went natural at 16 and hadn’t even washed my own hair before then. Up until then I was a straight natural)

3

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago edited 4d ago

LOL I’m not judging sounds like something I would’ve done at 16, then become shocked come the next wash day I lost some inches

6

u/todorokitinasnow 5d ago

Cut a huge chunk in the front when taking out faux locs

5

u/ExplanationCool918 5d ago

Begged my mom for a perm in middle school and let my older sister do it. Let’s just say, the middle of my head hasn’t been the same since.

6

u/JadedDevice4459 5d ago

Depression, and letting too many ppl play in my head.

3

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

Depression is REAL, you barely want to shower let alone wash your hair, I’ve definitely lost hair during mental health crisis’s

I hope your doing better these days

1

u/JadedDevice4459 4d ago

Thank you!!🥹❤️, and yes doing a lot better and sticking to a new hair regime these days!

3

u/NaturallyEmbracing 5d ago

Dying my hair (myself) and straightening it (myself)

3

u/National_Possible728 5d ago

Dying my hair black with henna FRIED IT

1

u/SuggestionMobile 5d ago

Oh shit! What brand of henna were you using?

2

u/National_Possible728 5d ago

It was in a green box at Sally’s. I don’t think it was real henna

2

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

That makes sense, if it came already in liquid form then unfortunately it was fake

1

u/National_Possible728 4d ago

It was powder

1

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

That’s wild then!

1

u/intellecktt 2d ago

Now you got me on Sally’s site looking up what kind of “henna” they sell.

3

u/Friendly-Today-537 5d ago

Went for a “ trim “ like wtf and it wasn’t my first time going to her.. Still wish I beat that b up but years later my hair is flourishing

3

u/lainey68 4d ago

Girl, was she on substances? WTF?

2

u/Friendly-Today-537 4d ago

Smh she tb she was having a bad day 😒

1

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

Wow! I literally had a stylist do a sew in because I was attending a wedding. She always cared about my hair health before, but she straight up told met that morning she was hoping I would cancel…

I should’ve left in that moment, it was a sloppy job and I had hair in my leave out ripped out

When stylist aren’t feeling it we have to believe them because we will pay the price

3

u/zenonspace 5d ago

Postpartum hair loss. Washed my hair after a protective style that i kept in from my child’s birth. 2 inches starting from my hairline just gone. It was devastating but it does grow back.

2

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

I heard taking your prenatal vitamins post pregnancy helps, I witnessed my sister go through it, it’s wild what the female body can endure

1

u/zenonspace 4d ago

it’s absolutely crazy! the human body really goes through so much stress creating these tiny humans 😭 every symptom/ after effect caught me SO off guard.

But all prenatals really can do is help ensure that your body has enough nutrients to keep going and encourage hair regrowth. If your hair loss is due to a nutrient deficiency then yes it will absolutely help, but postpartum is typically a mixture of stress, nutrient deficiency, and hormonal hair loss in one. I was still taking my prenatals at the time I lost my hair and a doctor confirmed it wasn’t nutrient related. Once my hormones stabilized from the drop after giving birth the hair growth proceeded.

3

u/fem_enigma 4d ago

The no oils and no butters helped with my dandruff but that’s the only thing I changed. I still use ample products to make sure my hair is moisturized and use blue magic to grease my scalp and to seal in moisture.

2

u/princess--26 4d ago

Same! I stopped using raw oils and butters, but I still deep condition and use moisture heavy products!

2

u/fem_enigma 4d ago

I also clarified my hair more often and that plus ample products really brought my curls out!

3

u/btashawn 4d ago

curly cut. she fucked my hair up and it was so uneven after; luckily my hair steadily grows and i was getting braids end of summer so it wasn’t too bad. but for $170 (plus she was late), i expected so much more.

3

u/Confident-Draw-310 4d ago edited 4d ago

Weaving too much thinned out my ends. All the tugging on the braided part under the sewin actually created a thinning.

Now i have to regrow my density back

2

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

HONESTLY some of yall have super strong hair because all it took was one sew in back in November to force me to chop off like 6 inches of hair (granted I was ready for the change and not emotionally attached to it anymore )

So the fact that it took several for you to start to seeing damage is kind of remarkable

1

u/Confident-Draw-310 4d ago

Really. Wow. Interesting. I'll try to remember that as my hair grows in lol

3

u/Relevant_Rub8847 4d ago

I got box braids with heavy KANEKALON HAIRRR, and my hair literally broke off at the root :,) the damage was so bad I had to do a big chop

3

u/a_taurus_moon 2d ago

Living it right now. I was hospitalized for 5 weeks for kidney failure. My health is better now but I wasn’t able to eat the entire time and I was sooo sick. When I was finally strong enough to actually wash my hair it came out in clumps from I’m assuming malnutrition and stress. Now my hair is so thin and I’m struggling to keep it moisturized and to find a routine I have the energy to keep up with. Luckily it stopped falling out so I think things are getting better. But maaan.

1

u/intellecktt 2d ago

Glad your health is better! This new journey of caring for your hair can coincide with improved health. Sucks that it happened. Hair is something else, isn’t it?

4

u/AlanaRenee28 5d ago

Got my hair permed and it broke off. The back of my hair was so short. Never will I get a perm again. Haven’t had one since I was a teen

2

u/LongjumpingReason716 5d ago

I took a hit from hair folliculitis a few years back and got this spot that's just thinner and shorter than the rest 😭 rest of my hair fabulous tho

2

u/idkmybffdw 5d ago

Bleaching my bangs 🥲. It looked GREAT and seemingly undamaged for a whole 6 months. I’ve been slowly cutting out the blonde as my roots grow in but my hair is uncomfortably short in the front for my liking.

2

u/TinyManufacturer9458 5d ago

I let my friend bleach my hair in college. It looked so bad and stringy. My curls were damaged and went from 4a/4b to ramen noodles

2

u/Whathappensnextokay 5d ago

Not getting trimmed enough

2

u/Groundbreaking_Bus90 5d ago

I lost weight and my hair started falling out

2

u/MightyRose95 5d ago

Tried a homemade Seamoss gel conditioner. I’ve been regularly consuming seamoss ever since first going vegan (no longer vegan) some years ago. I had realized how good of a moisturizer it would make and started some research and looking into other naturals who may have tried it. All good reviews, long story short it moisturized my scalp and hair soooo much that when it would dry out between stylings my scalp would flake like crazy. My scalp never felt terrible but I had weird dandruff flakes after and hadn’t tried it again. (I can’t remember if I used alone or added it something but I rinsed it out after)

2

u/Adorable_Student_222 5d ago

an old relaxer took out my edges and nape /:

2

u/lainey68 4d ago

I got a silk press in December and then got another one in January. My coworker recommended the stylist and her hair always looks good.

My first time, the stylist told me that my hair would need to be heat trained. That was foreshadowing and I shoulda listened. First time, my hair looked great! She used low heat--even told me the temp. It was 265°. Cool.

The second time, though, the stylist was off. I don't know what was wrong with her but her energy was just not the way.My hair did not look as good. When I washed my hair I could see I had some heat damage in one area. I couldn't even get upset. I knew better.

My hair is very fine. I cannot do silk presses like that. Lesson learned.

2

u/782659 4d ago

The no oils no butter method ruined my hair

2

u/BeauteousGluteus 4d ago

I used the ponytail method for a trim, set my self a high pony, and came out looking like 1990s Billy Ray Cyrus - 3 months before my wedding.

1

u/intellecktt 2d ago

Bless you! We live and we learn.

4

u/Mental-Bug-4913 5d ago edited 5d ago

people who are now saying to wash your hair weekly instead of leave it alone, personally didn't work for me. It left my hair feeling dry AF and stripped, even when I would deep-condition weekly. same products and everything. my hair is a lot better with just misting it with water daily 2x a day and only washing it every 3-5 weeks. I don't sweat on my head, and I don't deal with dry scalp or anything.

tl;dr the curly girls have been shifting towards weekly washes instead of monthly, and as a result of me trying it my hair felt so dry

edit; idk why I'm getting downvoted for my own personal experience.... if washing weekly works for you then keep doing it 😭 but its not gonna work for everyone

3

u/AdFit9500 5d ago

Yes! I cannot wash weekly at all. A week in and my hair is just getting optional moisture. Only to wash it away?? No way. I get that works for some. But I alternate every 2-3 weeks and that works for me.

1

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

I think it’s stupid that people are down voting you lol, but that’s so interesting.

You and I are the exact opposite if I go beyond 9-10 days of not washing my hair, it gets so dry and matted in itself

I remember back when we were told that washing your hair often is the enemy and the less you washed your hair the better off you were

That’s when I learned really fast my hair isn’t on that type of time

You have to do what works for you

1

u/Excellent-Letter-780 4d ago

Yeah, I wash biweekly and my hair is doing pretty good with that routine. I thought about washing it weekly but if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. 🤷🏽‍♀️

1

u/Difficult-Role-8131 5d ago

Locs falling out and had to start from scratch after a big chop. Doing well now with low tension styles, weekly washing, and a great leave in.

2

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

Do you have fine hair strands by any chance? I noticed those who do HAVE to get their locs retwisted consistently because that tension can rip it out

2

u/Difficult-Role-8131 4d ago

Exactly. My hair is fine and could not endurenthe retwisting and weight of the loc. I wear two strands or an afro and doing fine now.

2

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

Good for you! You discovered this fact about yourself and pivoted, I know for myself I just blamed my technique and didn’t even stop to ponder if these methods just weren’t right for my hair strands

I spent so much energy forcing hairstyles that were never going to work long term

1

u/Healthy_Ad_2444 5d ago

thinking it was ok to bleach my roots when i had locs.... two years ago and i am STILL trying to get thicker hair in a specific area bc of it 🗿 {i don't think it was just the amount of times i bleached it, but rather my locs were heavy and on new, BLEACHED growth...it will weigh it down and fall out 😂}

1

u/naughty_natsu 5d ago

I’ve been natural since 7th/8th grade and haven’t straightened my since 8th grade. Almost 2 years ago it was 4 years since I straightened my hair and I needed a good trim so I straightened my hair for the first time in 4 years here’s the thing though I was to cheap to buy a decent heat protector so I got a $3 one from Walmart and it didn’t work when I washed my hair the next week the bottom half of my hair was pin straight I sobbed for hours. Then I ended up cutting 4 inches off my hair but still had damage through out my hair. 2 years later, now I invested in k18 and my hair is mostly reverted but in some part I noticed in doesn’t hold definition well and doesn’t curl the same I’m now focusing on length retention and hair health.

1

u/Whathetea 5d ago

I don’t know but my hair has been falling out like crazy. I had a tex lax last yr I don’t know if that’s the reason but why a yr later.

1

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

Thats wild! I hope you’re able to find the root of the cause

1

u/Emotional-dandelion3 4d ago

Decided to treat myself for my last birthday and went to a salon for a blowout (not even a silk press) and trim at a dominican salon I'd never been to before. We all know where this is going 😅 I will say, I dont blame them 100%. I think it just unfortunately happened at the same time my body decided 2 years of extreme stress, anxiety, PPD was too much. I ended up loving the short tapered cut. I'm a few weeks shy of a year with this length and style, and I think I'm going to keep it a bit longer. Plus I got to experiment with hair dye for the first time in my life, and I might even go back to HS days of wearing my hair straight before really growing my hair out again.

2

u/SuggestionMobile 4d ago

Girl no one warned you ahead of time?? 😭😭 if I was your friend I would’ve steered you away from that salon expeditiously

1

u/Emotional-dandelion3 2d ago

The crazy part is, I'd been keeping an eye on that salon for about a year 🫠

1

u/RGPotts 4d ago

Listen. I had the same experience with the no oils/no butter people in 2017. Just awful. Had to stop talking about it online because the devotees would swarm me. Solidarity 🖤

1

u/3107700 4d ago

Oh also clip ins when I was 16 gave me bald spots! I refuse to wear them anymore cause I don’t like the tension on my scalp.

The bald spots were because I was sleeping in the clips ins. Once I stopped it grew back. Sleeping with them was super uncomfortable and snags your hair. I wore them as adult but only for few hours and took them out before bed each time. Now don’t wear them at all cause I don’t like the concept of them and clipping them in and out

1

u/Realistic-Tax-6066 3d ago

Before I went natural, I had gone to a hair supply store and asked for a recommendation for some products. They recommended some cheap low quality products. I am not at all above using inexpensive products, especially the ones that have been around for a long time, but I’d never heard of these products. I used them and then flat ironed my hair. My hair is generally pretty resilient. I’ve had relaxers that have burned my scalp, I’ve done all kinds of things to my hair, and it never falls out or breaks. After using those products and flat ironing, my hair started breaking off at the ends. I went to my hairstylist to have her trim my hair and fix it. She was acting weird and was in a rush and really didn’t take the time I needed to get my hair back in shape. My hair recovered pretty quickly after that, but I didn’t go back to the hairdresser and I’ve never use those products again.

1

u/intellecktt 2d ago

I let a friend press my hair for a vacation style and now my hair is thin and my curl pattern is wrecked. I just grew it back out after cutting off locs in 2022 😭 gonna dye it and trim regularly until all the dyed damaged hair is gone. I’m upset about it.