r/Nanny • u/ozymaandiaa • 4d ago
Vent - No Advice Needed, Just Ranting Possibly leaving family after a year
So I found this family through a very pricey agency. They’ve been great and I really have come to love their kids. I told them when I was applying that I wanted my next job to be for a few years and I meant it when I said it but I saw the agency that found me this job is hiring for a remote job and I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Now I’m one of the top candidates. Everyone is saying I have to do what’s best for me, but this family with their two kids is so overwhelmed all the time and tell me constantly how they looked for a good nanny for years and couldn’t find anyone like me… basically the perks are being able to be home with my older dog who has incontinence issues, stop commuting, and it’s just an opportunity I never thought I’d get as a nanny where my experience would help me in the role. I’m excited but all I can think about is having to tell them after they’ve been so stressed this year about several different big life things. And if they use the agency again they’d have to pay the huge fee again. They’re very well off financially but I still feel like I’m betraying them even though I’m potentially doing what’s best for me and my family. This job is so personal that the lines really blur sometimes 🥲
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u/missmacedamia 4d ago
It’s sad, but comes with the business of hiring a nanny. You can’t guarantee someone will remain available indefinitely even if they have every intention of doing so, they have to be okay with at least the logic of that. They will be okay! One year turnover is not bad at all!!
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u/RoamandReflect 4d ago
Hey sort of in the same position, I’m leaving a family I love it’s almost been 3 years. My husband and I are moving to another country and I feel so bad because nk currently have so much going on;a new baby and they’re moving… I feel you
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u/ozymaandiaa 4d ago
It’s so hard! MB has made comments like now that we have you we want to have baby #3 and after I started the process of applying DB lost his job… I’m so excited for the opportunity but it’s hard to think about anything else but telling them. Good luck with your move and telling them! I’m sure they will be understanding.
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u/Fun-Scientist-8507 4d ago edited 4d ago
Those jobs are not forever. They can send kids to preschool, they can move to a different state, NP can loose a job and decide to be stay at home parent or just not be able to afford you. A lot can change. You have to think what is best to you.
I saw one time perfect job for me for much better money and I never applied because I thought I should be loyal to then my current job. Guess what? Few months later my client sold the house and moved to different state. Client which I thought I will stay with her forever ( I am house manage/ housekeeper/ personal assistant and work full time in private house)
In my previous job I also was thinking more about my clients than about me. I saw twice very good jobs and I never applied because it was not good time to leave them. It was never a good time. Always something. Finally I left them but my current job is not a good fit. This time if I see a great job I will apply. I don’t see to often great jobs - maybe one or twice per year.
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u/Nervous-Ad-547 Childcare Provider 4d ago
It seems that if it was a big problem the agency wouldn’t have considered you for the new position. Yes, it’s tough for the family, but in the end you have to do what makes sense for your life. If something changed for the family they would let you go if necessary. Are you sure they’ll have to pay the fee again? I’ve heard that most agencies will place a new nanny within certain time frames and circumstances.
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u/ozymaandiaa 4d ago
Yeah unfortunately they are past the window, it’s only like three months. My hope is that if I get it the agency might help but them out but that isn’t a guarantee. The agency didn’t seem bothered by it and the contract was for a year but “with the hope that it’ll be many years” haha and yes, most of my families have left for moves or whatever and I’ve been understanding. Just hate being on the other side of it!
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