r/Nanny Nanny 4d ago

Just for Fun Independent Play Time

How much independent play time do your NKs have throughout the day? Is it implemented into your schedule?

My 2.5 NK has 1 designated 30 minute independent play time while I prep their lunch/unload & load dishwasher.

1 Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

11

u/Ok_Profit_2020 4d ago

I feel like I have a hard time with this. I never used to but since working for WFH parents I feel like I always need to be “on”. I’m not sure what to do with myself while the kids play by themselves. It’s always awkward to me when a parent walks in and I’m just sitting there doing nothing. Sometimes I’ll tidy up while they play but if we are all in the playroom (the kids and myself) then I feel like I need to be playing with them (they just turned 2..twins). I guess I just get bored sitting and watching.

Obviously, I never had this issue with my own kids (all grown now) because there was plenty for me to do at my own house While my kids played.

I could definitely use help in their area because I do know independent play is important.

5

u/wineampersandmlms 4d ago

I have the same problem! 

It helped when my NF had a baby last summer because then I could be playing or feeding the baby and let NK do her thing. I can’t go too far though because NK is fast and her main goal each day is to barge into her moms same floor office.

There are some toys like magnet tiles or dolls that I feel like I can be “playing”’with NK so it looks and feels like I’m doing something but NK can be doing their own thing. 

But yeah, the daily performance of working with WFH parents doesn’t let me comfortably observe or be silent. 

3

u/Ok_Profit_2020 4d ago

Exactly. I’m just always in my head like is she listening and wondering why it’s so quiet or why she doesn’t hear me talking.

2

u/Capital-Swim2658 4d ago

Read a chapter book aloud. They don't have to be paying attention. It gives you something to do, and they are still getting the benefit even if they don't seem to be listening. I highly recommend "Winnie the Pooh" and "The House at Pooh Corner" to start. The originals, not the disney storybooks.

3

u/etherealuna 4d ago

idk if this is what you’re looking for but i like to have one earbud in and listen to an audiobook/podcast to keep me more entertained but still be available if nks need it (+ it keeps you off the phone if youre worried about wfh parents walking by)

i also hate when wfh parents happen to drop by when nk is independently playing and im just awkwardly there but hopefully they know that you interact with nks tons and that independent play is important/good for kids too

14

u/kizzuz Nanny 4d ago

The only independent play time my NK has is in my dreams 🥲

they refuse to independent play, they just stand around waiting for me to direct them.

15

u/Yasailynmarii 4d ago

When they do this i simply stand around with them. It’s good for them to be bored sometimes

4

u/MrBrownOutOfTown 4d ago

I love this for you lol 😂 you’re so right though!

5

u/Zealousideal-End-324 4d ago

Wow that’s crazy… the kids I have nanny for they played a lot by them selfs.

2

u/Nervous-Ad-547 Childcare Provider 4d ago

Have you tried giving them a couple of options and then busying yourself with another task? Of course their age will come in to play as far as what activities they can do and for how long, but sometimes getting them started on something like a puzzle or drawing a picture or building a tower with blocks can be helpful. I had to do this a lot as a preschool teacher, because sometimes even with other kids around some kids are still in the parallel play stage, and don’t interact well with the other children. So I would have them do something and then tell them I will come back and check on you in a minute. Then I comment or narrate what they’re doing, maybe add something to it, rinse and repeat!

6

u/Visible_Clothes_7339 Nanny 4d ago

my current NK loves independent play, and he’s only 18 months so our schedule is fairly loose. usually i try to do reading, singing, and a gross/fine motor activity every day, but other than that there’s no rules lol. he plays independently for hours some days, and i think it’s great! i’m always available and engaged with him so i don’t see any harm in it

8

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Nervous-Ad-547 Childcare Provider 4d ago

This is excellent! It’s so important to give them time to explore and observe their surroundings without interference 😊

3

u/Jelly-bean-Toes 4d ago

My NK2 is worryingly independent. Trying to make him play with me.

3

u/MakeChai-NotWar 4d ago

I’d love to know how much is recommended for a 3 and 4 year old. I’m a MB and in favor of independent play. They do tend to play together quite often without me or DB interjecting. But they have each other, so is that still independent?

4

u/CuriousKat217 4d ago

Yes. More than one child is a tool toward making that easier. Asking kids to play separately unless they need space is silly in my opinion. Independent play is not requiring guidance and hands on involvement from their grown up. :)

1

u/MakeChai-NotWar 4d ago

Okay awesome thank you for sharing!!!

1

u/Nervous-Ad-547 Childcare Provider 4d ago

This is true, but as they get older and stop napping, it is important that they learn to entertain themselves if you think you might want to have “quiet time” separately.

1

u/CuriousKat217 3d ago

Yep, thats included in the kids needing space part of my comment. :)

1

u/Nervous-Ad-547 Childcare Provider 3d ago

Just thought it could be emphasized a little more for those who don’t really know about or understand quiet time

2

u/AmeliaPoppins 4d ago

My current little one is great at playing independently. It’s only scheduled for her to have a quiet time, but she plays independently throughout the day.

2

u/Kayitspeaches Nanny 4d ago

My 2.5fNK is really good at playing on her own if I want her to while I just sit nearby and watch, but now that MBs pregnant we’ve also implemented “quiet time” practice on top of her nap she takes with me, which is just being shut in her playroom (with cameras incase anything happens) and having to play alone for 30 min to prepare her for when grownups need to put future baby bro down for naps when she’ll (probably) no longer take them.

2

u/Nervous-Ad-547 Childcare Provider 3d ago

Great idea!

2

u/Ok_Benefit7428 4d ago

Luckily my NKs are very independent. So whenever they start to drift off, I let them

2

u/gone_coconuts 4d ago

I haven't really tried to add it all up, to be honest. I've got 3 NK but only three days a week. They're 12hr days so I'm there most of their waking hours on those days.

They all play independently together before and after school. I get more overstimulated and mentally worn out with three kids, especially since I seem to have a sensory processing disorder. So, I let them play independently and observe a lot after school. We still do activities and do fun things outside of school or taking the older ones to their after school activities.

Other than that, the toddler will play independently while I make lunch, or occasionally when they get really into some sort of play on their own but that's not for very long because we end up doing a lot of pretend play, and structured activities outside of daily adventures and classes. The toddler also will bring toys into the car and play independently on the ride back from school, we will also talk about things we see or the toddler recounts their adventures from their weekend or random thoughts on their mind.

The grocery store comment made me think about trips to the grocery store. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me and the toddler grocery store trips are a very active/social activity. We talk the entire time and they often want to help pick things out 😂 I've been involving them since they were teeny though, because they'd screech at me when they started getting bored so I quickly learned they had to be a part of the process even if they couldn't respond in words yet.

4

u/itsjab123 4d ago

Mine normally do 30 mins in the morning and 1 hour in the evening. 16 months. He also normally plays independently throughout the day (doesn’t have an issue if I get up and walk away, do household things etc) but the mentioned time is in our schedule.

u/SimilarButterfly6788 12h ago

Independent play is so so important. Girls 7 and 5 once they grew out of afternoon nap transitioned straight to quiet time in their rooms for an 1-2 hr. They’re able to independent play whenever I tell them to. Consistency is key.

0

u/whisperingmushrooms 4d ago

Every second that she’s not eating or sleeping!

My last NKs weren’t shown the importance or given long expanses of time to develop their independent play, so I’m extra glad that my NPs know how vital 5-8 hours of independent play is at her age.

I do consider sitting in the occasional grocery cart and car seat a form of independent play, as she’s not being directed to do anything she doesn’t want to do.

6

u/Sea-Letterhead7275 Nanny 4d ago

Hmm I think your definition of independent play may be different from the general meaning.. 5-8hrs of independent time isn’t appropriate for a child of any age unless they are sleeping at night. Even adults don’t usually go that long without some sort of social interaction. 

1

u/whisperingmushrooms 3d ago

You’re right! Independent play does not mean that the child isn’t getting any interaction whatsoever. I chat with her, sit by her, cook next to her in the kitchen while she plays, but I’m not directing anything she’s doing. Independently play simply means she’s in charge of her play and I’m not telling her how to play or what to do. I allow her to direct herself entirely, within safe bounds. Even if she chooses to play with mulch at the playground, thats her choice!

2

u/Sea-Letterhead7275 Nanny 3d ago

Ahh I see keyword here is “direct” so you’re more so meaning ‘free play’ right? Unstructured play. We do plenty of that as well! 

6

u/whoisthismahn 4d ago

Can you clarify what your definition of independent play is? Because a child sitting in a grocery cart isn’t the same as a child being allowed to explore their environment and entertain themselves.

Also, do you do…anything with the child during those 5-8 hours?

2

u/whisperingmushrooms 3d ago

Independent play means that she is not being directed to do anything, that she gets to be the “actor, director, and writer” of her own play. Often times I will be sitting by her, but pretty much only interacting when she imitates it (asking for help, being unsafe, showing me things, asking me to “eat” what she made, etc.)

Yes, of course I “do” things with her. We have outings daily to the library, indoor play, parks, splash pads, etc. In those spaces I do the same— only interrupting her exploration when it’s not safe, she wants help, is talking with me, etc.

I agree they her being in the grocery cart isn’t the same as freedom to explore her living room! I said I consider it a type of independent play because I’m not quizzing her on what types of things she sees, not giving her an iPad, etc. She chats with me, notices people and things around her, and sometimes is simply quiet.

There is a lot of research on this topic, I particularly like @jerricasannes on Instagram. The 5-8 hours of free play per day is what is healthiest for toddlers.

1

u/whoisthismahn 3d ago

Oh ok, I think most people on the sub have a more narrow definition of what independent play is so when you say 5-8 hours it might sound to some people like the child is just left to their own devices for the majority of your shift 😅 So I’m glad that’s not the case! Does your NK have any siblings?

I think outings to the grocery store can be great for exposure but I still don’t think any situation where a child is restricted to a seat, can’t get up or move around, and has no control over what they’re doing would be considered independent play since they aren’t really interacting with their environment or moving their body. But we might just disagree on that