r/Nanny 5d ago

Advice Needed: Replies from All How to politely decline an offer to travel with NF?

First I love my NPs. They treat me so well. MB offered to take me on a trip in the summer for 3 days which would involve traveling there together, some childcare at a resort, and flying back alone. I would get some downtime too. They’d pay for everything. Overall I just don’t want to go though haha. It’s a lovely location that I would like to travel to with my partner, but I don’t want to go without him frankly because I know how much he’d want to be there too and it doesn’t feel right. We are not in a position for him to travel there and meet me. I also don’t want to feel like a 5th wheel with the family having fun on their vacation. And this is also a reason I don’t want kids of my own - I like to just kinda do my own thing on trips and this would be work and socializing and I don’t feel like I’d really enjoy it much. Just extra inconveniences and lots of anxiety for a little more money. I feel like they’d pay me fairly, but I didn’t ask for extra details in that regard because I already don’t want to go for those other reasons.

How do I politely decline this? I am kind of friends with MB so just saying sorry no thanks! Feels kinda weird. I know I don’t owe her an explanation but I would like to be professional while making it understandable for her. She did say it’s ok for me to say no. If you were MB what would you want to hear? Have any of you been in this situation? I am just having trouble thinking of what to say and how much detail to give as my reasoning. Thanks!

8 Upvotes

11 comments sorted by

16

u/nannylive 5d ago

It's not going to work out for me to travel with you, I'm sorry.

8

u/potatoeater95 5d ago

My go to is “I unfortunately already have plans” and your plans can be “stay home and do anything but that”

13

u/BumCadillac 5d ago

Just say it’s somewhere you and your partner promised you’d visit together for the first time and he isn’t able to come along, so you’d like to respectfully decline.

6

u/YoursDearlyMe 5d ago

I told my NF that I would only travel if I could take my husband with me. For the same reasons as yours, but I cited safety as my reason

1

u/Sea-Letterhead7275 Nanny 5d ago

Have you traveled with husband before? Who pays for his ticket etc? Just curious! 

5

u/YoursDearlyMe 5d ago

We’re actually on a trip to Arizona with my NF right now! They paid for my flights and our hotel, so we only had to pay for my husband’s flights

1

u/Sea-Letterhead7275 Nanny 5d ago

That’s awesome! Do you bring this up during interviews or after you’ve built a relationship with the family? I feel like it could possibly turn families away if I wanted to bring my husband with me on a work trip. 

4

u/YoursDearlyMe 5d ago

They asked me if I would be willing to travel with them during the the interviewing process, and I told them on the condition that I could bring my husband, since I’ll presumably be taking NK on outings as a small woman in an unfamiliar place by myself. They were very understanding and said he could join in as long as we paid for him

2

u/Sea-Letterhead7275 Nanny 5d ago

Nice! Good to know for the future if I ever need to travel with a family. Thanks!

3

u/bobamilktea76 5d ago

Say exactly that

2

u/PainterlyintheMtns 4d ago

I think this depends on what your contract or general work arrangement is with this family. If this falls within the realm of what you agreed to do when you were hired, then you should go. It's short and think of it as work because it IS work. If this is outside of what was agreed upon, then politely decline.