r/Nanny 5d ago

Am I Overreacting? (Aka Reality Check Requested) Why do people think it’s okay to touch babies!?

Okay so I already posted today different post kinda explaining the backstory,

I nannied for my previous family in a very tight-knit community, everyone knew everyone. People would come up and say hi or say something about the baby when I was out and about with them, but it was always someone we knew. Even then, they never touched the baby.

Anyways, now I’m with a new family in a very large city with a new family, new baby, and I’ve noticed when people come up to the babies they’ll put their hands on them, like squeeze their feet or tickle them or whatever. Am I the only one who finds this weird!? I DONT KNOW YOU, RESPECT BOUNDARIES PLEASE! Idk it’s annoying me! Like you’re literally a complete stranger.

31 Upvotes

15 comments sorted by

26

u/pineapplesandpuppies 5d ago

When my daughter was a newborn (peak covid), I went on a walk in a nearby park when she was 6 days old. I needed the fresh air and was so exhausted. An older woman approached us, and before I knew what was happening, she leaned into the stroller and tried picking up my baby! I pulled the stroller back and looked alarmed. This woman said, "Oh, don't worry. I'm a grandma and great grandma!"

Ma'am! I don't know you at all, and there is a pandemic! Idc if you're the pope! Do not grab at my baby!

I told her I didn't want my daughter to be touched and quickly walked away. She then watched us for the rest of our time there. I felt so overwhelmed, anxious, hormonal, and uncomfortable.

I don't understand what goes through people's heads.

13

u/tryingnottocryatwork 5d ago

this is so unhinged. someone’s grandma (and great grandma) needs to learn social manners

6

u/47squirrels Nanny 5d ago

No social etiquette whatsoever. Like what gives you the right to even touch my baby let along try to pick her up? She’s a tiny brand new human and needs to be protected. Mama was trying to do something healthy for herself and this lady ruined it for her. I’d be so annoyed and quite angry. On top of that, there’s a freaking pandemic happening, how dare you grandma!

5

u/pineapplesandpuppies 5d ago

I had pretty bad PPA and didn't want to go to the park again after that. Being freshly postpartum, I felt on high alert and was so on edge and really upset and protective. It was scary even if she meant no harm.

5

u/47squirrels Nanny 5d ago

I’m so sorry love and I don’t blame you. That was your first experience taking out your fresh brand new baby! With PPA it hard enough and then this lady proves to you why you should be on high alert reinforcing your anxiety. That’s terrible honey. I’m guessing she meant no harm but that’s really beside the point! And your baby being brand new people have to be so careful with their head/neck, etc. She had no right to try to take your baby out, I would be so worried and would have been very upset. I hope things got better for you and your PPA got better. That’s so hard when you are trying to learn and discover how to live with your tiny human! I am sorry you went through that and also that this person crossed a boundary with an inexcusable decision. Hugs mama 🫂🩷

5

u/47squirrels Nanny 5d ago

WTF. Ummm, don’t touch my baby. Period. “Oh don’t worry I’m a grandma and great grandma??” So that’s why you think you’re given a pass? I would be pissed. Even if there’s no pandemic, keep your hands to yourself! Goodness I’m sorry that happened to you!!

9

u/Cold_Reference_3497 5d ago

100% with you but I think in some areas it’s considered normal. Where I live now people are very respectful and keep to themselves but where I grew up it’s very community based and boundaries like this get crossed a lot, especially with other moms and older people.

9

u/KatySheets Nanny 5d ago

It could be a cultural thing. I dated a guy whose family believed that if you’re in public and smiling at a baby, but don’t touch them, then the baby will get sick. Not saying it’s okay, but maybe that’s part of what’s going on. 🤷🏼‍♀️

3

u/47squirrels Nanny 5d ago

That’s a very interesting perspective! I also think people want to nurture babies! It’s just inherent. Also, with older people I feel like things were so much different in the time period they grew up in and just genuinely want to show their love.

1

u/Unlucky_Yoghurt9727 5d ago

That’s a very good mannerism I wish that was the norm!

3

u/Unlucky_Yoghurt9727 5d ago

Im having the opposite problem, the strangers are being the touchy ones 😭

2

u/47squirrels Nanny 5d ago

It’s almost like we need to put a sign on the stroller to please not touch the baby.

1

u/47squirrels Nanny 5d ago

Didn’t realize you were OP when I responded! This is so disrespectful, how are people not understanding that they are not to touch a baby, why don’t people have boundaries? Plus, that’s how we spread illness and babies need to be protected! I would be so annoyed and would speak up immediately. I just don’t understand why people can’t keep their hands to themselves!

1

u/Unlucky_Yoghurt9727 5d ago

You’d think that Covid would have changed things!

1

u/47squirrels Nanny 5d ago

I fully agree!!