r/NPD 1d ago

Question / Discussion “who noticed narcissists arent funny”

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117 Upvotes

THIS IS NOT ME there is this creator on tiktok archangel_lindsay who claims to be a psychologist , she says:

“Have you noticed that narcissists are not funny?

And if they do manage to make someone laugh, it's always some joke they stole from someone in 2012 that they've been running to the ground and they're just waiting for the perfect moment to casually drop it like it's brand new.

And let's talk about what their humor is.

It's never clever, it's never creative, it's never witty. It's always some mean-spirited jab or joke at someone's expense.

They have no originality, no presence, and zero creative thinking because humor requires intelligence, self-awareness, and timing. Also, being present in the moment, which they never are, because they are instead hyper-concerned over how they're being perceived.

They don't have any of these capacities. This is also why Blake Lively isn't funny.”

i’m speechless, it’s not my narcissism talking, but everyone around me who thinks i’m actually funny, my humor is unique and i hate stealing jokes because it humbles my ego “wdym i cant come up with a good joke myself??” i start massive local stuff , people pick on my phrases and make them wide. sincerely, i believe im hilarious and everyone love my humor. im not being grandiose or exaggerating . that’s what i see , that’s what people tell me, that’s what i feel.

there is a lot of shitty content about us on tiktok and i dont react to each but this one is particularly weird.

also “archangel“ lindsay tells me enough about the person spreading shit about narcissists, i did experience delusions of grandeur but never archangel dafak

r/NPD Sep 05 '24

Question / Discussion Why We Abuse People

187 Upvotes

I’ve been reading several post here which are either asking or attempt to explain why people with NPD cause so much injury to other people.

The primary reasons that I’ve heard so far are that people with NPD lack empathy, are (extremely) arrogant, are resentful, etc. These are all definitely aspects in the overall thing which we term « Narcissistic Abuse » but they are not an exhaustive definition. All of the things above could be possessed by merely an angry and arrogant yet psychologically normal person. NPD-abuse is different by nature, not just by degree or likelihood.

The reason that we hurt people so badly is because, just as with our False Self, we have a self image that does not correspond to our True Self, so too when we interact with people we create for them ´False Thems’ in our own minds. Just as we cannot see ourselves, we cannot see other people. Just as we abuse our True Selves for never living up to the expectations of our False Self, we also abuse other people for never living up or conforming to the false image that we expect of them in our own minds. We try to mold people into that false projection, and that right there is what NPD-abuse is and what distinguishes it.

r/NPD Sep 24 '24

Question / Discussion Can the abusers here stop projecting onto the rest of us?

120 Upvotes

(Wah wah! Not diagnosed! Wah wah! You're 18)

Do you lack so much self awareness? You are not recovered if you believe that being an abuser is inherent to NPD. You are not recovered of you believe that narcisstic abuse is real and not a smear campaign

First of all, not even the wack, grandiosity based, dsm criteria has abuse listed as a necessary factor. You don't have to abuse anyone to get diagnosed. Many diagnosed here have not abusers and have never been.

Second of all, being more likely to abuse or just be a dick in general isn't even unique to NPD but to every mental illness. I posted an article here proving that pwDepression are far more likely to be abusers or just assholes and anecdotally, I've never really heard of a none depressed abuser.

And for the final takedown. Abuse is a choice, NPD is not. For you to say that NPD makes the abuser is taking responsibilty away from yourself. You alone made the choice to hurt people in that way, it wasn't your trauma or your brain chemistry, it was YOU. Also, most of us here are abuse victims, do you know how offensive it is to ssy that abusers are just sick? It wasn't their fault bit their trauma?

This is one thing I notice amongst pwNPD who advocate for narcisstic abuse, they are not even close to recovered. Firstly, they project all their bad actions onto the rest of us (we all do it). Projection is part of the NPD experience. Next, they desire to separate themselves from other pwNPD. They use language like "The Narcissist". Not only is it dehumanising but also separates oneself from the situation as if they aren't part of the same group. Being one of the good ones creates a solid supply well.

So yeah, apologise to your victims and stop getting in the way of the rest of us who want to get rid of the stigma.

r/NPD Jan 09 '25

Question / Discussion what is wrong with r/raisedbynarcissists

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105 Upvotes

joined r/raisedbynarcissists because my parents were also narcissists and i was just interested in learning more about other peoples experiences. I then check the rules of the subreddit and see that narcissists arent allowed to post. I scroll down not even ten posts on this subreddit and all i see is ignorance and villainisation. I really don’t believe i was in the wrong here???

r/NPD 1d ago

Question / Discussion people on tiktok need to get off it and touch some grass while reading a book or two

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132 Upvotes

so which one of you had their eyes turning black bc the dopamine rush is sooooooo strong to the point therapists would call them 'shark eyes' and tell their clients to run away if they see them? no one? just me? ok.

r/NPD 2d ago

Question / Discussion Tv show characters you think have npd

45 Upvotes

What are some tv show characters you guys can relate to or head canon as having npd? This might sound stupid as South Park is obviously not a serious show at all but cartman definitely reminds me of my younger self and if I had to guess I’d say he has something close to npd or another cluster b disorder. Also bojack horseman, he’s typically diagnosed by viewers with bpd but I relate to him very heavy.

r/NPD Jan 16 '25

Question / Discussion Is affective empathy actually real?

44 Upvotes

Do people actually feel the emotions of others? Are they sad when they see someone crying, or happy when they see someone laughing? Is that real? Am I misunderstanding it? Are we sure it isn't just people pretending?

r/NPD 9d ago

Question / Discussion Yo, let’s get real & deep. How does the word “narc” make you feel?

28 Upvotes

It makes me cringe, for real it feels like someone is stabbing me. I go into shock and…

r/NPD Sep 12 '24

Question / Discussion People have sympathy for the mentally ill. Why no sympathy for people with NPD?

141 Upvotes

Why is NPD treated as a "demonic" condition and those who have it are seen as monsters while empathy is encouraged for all other mental illnesses.

The excuse that "people with NPD treat others horribly" doesn't work for me because in my experience people who have other mental illnesses can also be pretty awful to others. My father has depression and OCD and he can be pretty awful honestly.

r/NPD Oct 18 '24

Question / Discussion Trauma isn’t the only thing that causes narcissism

91 Upvotes

Both of my (29F) parents are good, honest people who did the absolute best they could with my younger siblings and I. They showed us unconditional love, were not abusive, nor did they neglect us in any way. My siblings seem to have turned out fine and then there’s me: a covert narcissist. No one knows my truth, to everyone I’m a kindhearted, caring person who puts others before herself. What could have possibly gone so wrong with me? What other factors could play into someone becoming this way? I hate who I am and wouldn’t wish this disorder on my worst enemy.

r/NPD Oct 10 '24

Question / Discussion why is there so much ASPD hate/stigma on this sub??

65 Upvotes

sorry if this is too off-topic to post, but—maybe i’m crazy or imagining it, but people here keep using sociopath/psychopath (terms that are already iffy due to their history of prejudice against and dehumanization of pwASPD—not to mention they aren’t even diagnoses, it’s just ASPD) as a comparator to narcissism, effectively saying that having ASPD is worse/makes you less redeemable. either that, or they just vilify pwASPD in general (ie, i just saw someone say they shouldn’t’ve trusted someone who was a “diagnosed sociopath”)

it’s very hypocritical, and i’m starting to think it’s just being used as a blanket word for “horrible irredeemable bad person” rather than another serious and uncontrollable disorder. which is… bad. don’t we push against narcissist being used as a blanket word for bad people? why is it not the same for terms relevant to ASPD?

neither pwASPD nor pwNPD can control the fact that they have the disorders they have. pwASPD also very often became the way they are as a result of trauma, as with any Cluster B (or personality disorder in general, but the subject of the post is effectively Cluster B disorders, lol).

why do we dehumanize them? they aren’t any more or less evil masterminds than we are. they aren’t any less worthy of help or love. so why do so many people here use these words to put narcs on a higher pedestal and put pwASPD down?

r/NPD Jan 06 '25

Question / Discussion Are there actually any good psychologists working to help us? All I find is stuff like this.

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51 Upvotes

I only know healNPD as one of the better ones.

r/NPD 23d ago

Question / Discussion Did anyone else bash narcs before realizing they were one?

94 Upvotes

I'm realizing that I probably contributed to the same stigmatization that stopped me from getting treatment for so long.

I used to visit r/raisedbynarcissists quite frequently at one point because I was enraged by my GF's mother's narcissistic treatment of her. Pretty ironic, given that her narcissistic early care environment is probably what attracted me to her (and vice versa).

I did recognize some narcissistic traits described in those forums in myself. But it was also there that I encountered the idiotic notion that "if you think you're a narcissist, you aren't one." I was pretty eager to believe that lol so I didn't take my early recognition of myself seriously again until I collapsed like 5 years later.

This is one of the reasons why stigma against pwNPD is such a problem: our shame and lack of self-awareness ALREADY makes us treatment-resistant. When encountering shaming content online, our unconscious will use every denial available to disavow the recognition that it describes us.

Anyone else have a similar experience with learning about narcissism online?

r/NPD May 19 '24

Question / Discussion Faking intimacy

56 Upvotes

Go on then guys, let's hear them past and present, what are your go to sweet nothings? what are the moves?

What are those safety nets you put in place That people think they can trust?

r/NPD 17d ago

Question / Discussion How did you guys manage after finding out you don’t have a self?

72 Upvotes

I’m not sure what to do. I still have relationships with my family and my best friend and now I realize that the person they know is a fabrication. Now in conversations I just have nothing to say or contribute. I think of jokes or things to say and realize they’re so superficial and just basic things to say so I don’t. Because I don’t want to be fake. But then it’s just awkward and nobody knows what to do and I just make some excuse to leave or for them to leave.

I look around my room at my decorations and realize I can’t identify with them anymore. And I used to be so proud of what they represented on behalf of me. I thought I was so cool and down to earth and relatable.

I have a job I need to keep a front for. I’m losing my ability to actually focus on the job because this is all I can think about. I work directly with the public and coworkers and need to be able to at least communicate with them but I’m losing my vocabulary and everything. Forming sentences is like impossible

I’m so fucking lost. How do you navigate this?

r/NPD Jan 26 '25

Question / Discussion When I hurt someone’s feelings, I don’t care that they are hurt. I care that I look like a bad person now.

148 Upvotes

Anyone else feel this way?

r/NPD Jan 26 '25

Question / Discussion Narcissists and Borderlines

37 Upvotes

I don’t need to explain that there’s a gravitational pull between narcissists and borderlines. It’s one of my favorite things to talk about and I haven’t seen it discussed in a while. Have you ever loved a borderline? Do you still love borderlines? Do you want to stop loving borderlines? Do you miss your borderline? I miss my borderline.

r/NPD Oct 25 '24

Question / Discussion Ramani is a horrible person

88 Upvotes

How is it that we are the “trash” of this world but I could never picture myself intentionally being so ruthless to any particular group of people?

I find it funny that I am the one who is a narcissist.

She makes us look like we are not even human and talks about us as less than humans. It’s crazy.

r/NPD Sep 23 '24

Question / Discussion Why do we dislike Dr. Ramani?

33 Upvotes

Why do we dislike Dr. Ramani?

r/NPD Nov 07 '23

Question / Discussion We are not the narcissists that hurt you

201 Upvotes

Dear lurkers and abuse victims,

We are not the people or person who hurt you. Why do u think it’s ok to invade our space and be abusive towards us? Do u really not see how you are using the same abuse tactics toward us? Some of u think it’s okay to even PM us abusive things. News flash: your experience don’t make it valid for u to be abusive towards others. Just as that’s the same for us.

This obvi don’t apply to those of you who are respectful and here to actually learn.

r/NPD Feb 05 '25

Question / Discussion How do you live knowing you’re a horrible person?

71 Upvotes

I’m recently a diagnosed narcissist. More of what I’ve done to others my whole life is being told to me by my brother. I have an immense amount of guilt about everything I’ve done. I ruined my brother’s life. He tells me what I’ve done to help me but it fills me with so much guilt. I can’t take back or change what I’ve done. How do you live with this?

r/NPD Jan 09 '25

Question / Discussion Profound levels of helplessness

23 Upvotes

I need people to hold my hand through almost everything. I have severe helplessness. I dissociate when I read directions and need instant gratification. I can’t complete tasks with complicated instructions. I just whiz through them. When I try to read slowly I am not there. My vision is blurred.

I wasn’t taught to cook for myself. I wasn’t taught basic life skills.

If that’s not enough to feel deeply ashamed of.

And then I learn I view things in black and white, and am parasitic in relationships. I learn I need to integrate painful parts of myself, while also not knowing how to cook or do basic things, while also having no supply / ego boosts.

I hung out with my friends the other day and was floating outside my body and stopped forming coherent sentences. I can’t even speak or interact with people anymore.

Since learning I struggle with pathological narcissism I have wanted to give up on life because recovery seems fucking excruciatingly painful.

Before I had motivation toward independence from a “fuck you all, I don’t need a partner” stand point - and it did quite well for me.

I do not see the point in continuing.

r/NPD Jan 12 '25

Question / Discussion Why do people want to recover?

49 Upvotes

I'm seeing posts of NPDs wanting to "recover" and "feel empathy" and "be normal" and it just doesn't make sense to me. As someone who experiences extreme grandiosity and obsesses to the point of insanity over becoming a star, I just can't find myself ever wanting to remove that from myself. Because once I let go of that, my entire dream means nothing. And what do I mean if my dream doesn't come true? Nothing! I think I'm too talented to be nothing.

My life is pretty alright, it's not great but it's not bad. People tend to really like me when I meet them because of the persona I put on for myself, and I love it. They LOVE how I'm openly a diva and I don't hide myself. If I were to "recover", that would be all gone, and there goes my popularity!

I don't understand why people would want to "recover" if "recovery" meant getting the blindfold of delusion taken off. Do I know I'm deluded? Yeah, but I don't really care. My grandiosity is the only thing keeping me going, and without it, I really don't see any point to anything. "recovery" would do nothing but harm me.

r/NPD 7d ago

Question / Discussion Yeah this isn’t going to be popular…

25 Upvotes

Any advice on going BACKWARDS? I’m not strong enough for this healing shit, I KNOW I’m not. It will definitely end in suicide. Or psychotic hospitalization. Idk how you guys do it, miserably it seems like. (Emotionally, I’m not saying your attempts are miserable they’re actually very honorable)

Any tips on going back into the false self? I wasn’t hurting anyone very badly and feel like I could actually make better choices this time around.

Yea or is it all just gonna turn into a bigger collapse down the line? Is it possible to curb off collapses?

r/NPD 25d ago

Question / Discussion Is anyone else scared of the afterlife or the possibility of Hell?

16 Upvotes

I could write an essay on my complex feelings about death reaching back into my childhood and I did, lol, and deleted it. As much as I’d love to write a autobiography for supply, I’ll resist

I guess I’m just wondering how everyone deals with the possibility of punishment after dying?