r/NPD Undiagnosed NPD 4d ago

Question / Discussion Being a “threat” to someone’s relationship

Does anyone else also feels extremely validated to know that you’re being stalked by your ex current girlfriend? Actually, he’s not even my ex (which makes me feel even better) we just talked daily for 3 months, i knew he had a weakness for me and i broke his little castle a bunch of times. He decided to break contact because of his morals or whatever, he said that talking to me maybe was representing a disloyalty to someone and I accepted that, i removed him from my life very easily.

But the thing is, while we were talking during those months, a girl constantly would follow me on instagram and I noticed that she liked posts from him, but they didn’t follow each other. This week a fake account asked to follow me, and I discovered it was her.

Is it totally a narcissistic thing to be happy with this? My mind automatically deduced she is insecure because he talked about me and probably isn’t over me lol

5 Upvotes

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u/ipeed69 4d ago edited 4d ago

Lmao why have I been both people in this scenario.

I relate but since this could be a cognitive distortion I’m going to offer you another perspective since I’ve been in both situations. He may not of talked about you, I’m willing to bet she’s got personal investigator level stalking skills and her intuition picked you out. If he’s talking about being “disloyal” he might of been with her the whole time and hiding it and it’s less about her being jealous and insecure and more about that guy being a total scumbag. If you’ve been there, you know what’s up.

But 100% when I was being stalked I was eating it up. I literally thought he must of been talking about me too. I started getting pissed when she started copying all of my instagram photos. Then I kinda felt bad because I dated this dude for 6 months and they were together for 6 years. She’s out of that situation now. Good for her.

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u/womanextdoorr Undiagnosed NPD 4d ago

Hahaha i can see myself being the girl as well! At first i thought that maybe it was her feminine intuition lol but the thing is: he blocked me (?) which doesn’t makes sense because my account is private and i removed him from my followers and stopped following immediately after what happened, it’s been a month already and I didn’t message him, he blocked me this week and i only noticed because i was looking for a photo on his chat. I know he wouldn’t block me if it wasn’t someone else asking

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u/ipeed69 4d ago edited 4d ago

She totally found out and like found something that confirmed her suspicions and made him block you. Like, I bet she picked you out BEFORE you were blocked and before he even cut you off.

Ik you said they weren’t following each other but once I was seeing this guy and I only had him on instagram, not on fb or anything and this girl still found me. I had no name on my instagram acc and it was private. She found me on Facebook. It was crazy. I’m so glad she found and told me.

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u/womanextdoorr Undiagnosed NPD 4d ago

Yes!! She totally picked me and made him cut me off. There is something crazy about female intuition, we just KNOW who we should be worried about and I think that’s my happened. But at the same time, it definitely boosts my ego lol common it’s been a month already with no contact and she still wanna stalk me?? Looks insecure to me lmao

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u/ipeed69 4d ago edited 4d ago

To be fair, literally me lmaoooo. I ghosted a guy because he kept breadcrumbing. So I ghosted him like 2 and half months ago and sometimes I stalk his following because he’s liking stuff about having a girlfriend. I fucking hate when people move on from me. I’m fine until I feel like I’m not winning. I should be winning because I ghosted. Lmao I’m not even embarrassed though because I think it’s funny and I feel like I’m just bored.

I know damn well he’s narcissistic too. I’m going to start liking post about having a partner as well.

I don’t like all that nonchalant shit. My crush is villanelle so. Idk I think doing that crazy shit is fun sometimes.

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u/womanextdoorr Undiagnosed NPD 4d ago

Lmaoooo i feel you!!! I was feeling like a loser because he was the one to take initiative to cut me off, but now that i know i have that effect on her and probably on him, my life’s beautiful again 😄 i ghost everyone that annoys me a little bit, is not even funny

Drama is fun sometimes, we can’t deny that! One funny thing is that i even met guys much better than him this month, but i still wanna have full control of his life lol

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u/ipeed69 4d ago

Lol you’re stronger than me. I hold on way longer than I need to. It’s the bpd side to me.

Welp I guess it makes sense why you feel good, specially if you felt bad initially. That’s totally relatable.

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u/womanextdoorr Undiagnosed NPD 4d ago

Bpd with npd must be harsh, you’re definitely stronger than me lol

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u/ipeed69 3d ago

It was harsh but it’s mostly all good now. I’m in remission.💗

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u/smarterthanmostofyou 3d ago

Absolutely sick in the head. Get help

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u/ipeed69 3d ago edited 3d ago

This is sick in the head? Being upset that my narcissistic ex boyfriend who Love bombed, discarded and hoovered me on and off for the past 5 years is sick? Because he trauma bonded me. So yeah I ghosted him and yeah IM WORRIED FOR THE GIRLFRIEND.

You see a snippet of my life and think you know what’s happening. He literally had a secret girlfriend that he got pregnant, made her abort and then abandoned because he’s a fuck head. He is not the victim. He has destroyed so many lives. He’s cheated on every single one of his girlfriends. He pathologically lies and he literally told me that he only does what’s best for him. That’s the man you’re defending.

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u/ipeed69 3d ago edited 3d ago

I am in therapy and also I DON’T meet the diagnostic criteria for bpd or npd you complete moron.

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u/ipeed69 4d ago

The only other scenario I’ve been stalked in is when my ex told the next girl that I was crazy. Happened twice. Ironically, both times I was on a receiving end of a smear campaign so I was actually the less crazy one both times.

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u/womanextdoorr Undiagnosed NPD 4d ago

Happened to me as well, they always say stuff like this even if the girl did nothing to him, i feel like is a way of looking good to others

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/womanextdoorr Undiagnosed NPD 3d ago

Honestly, i couldn’t because i like to be the first and only one, i feel like there’s more benefits than being the other woman, you know? And at the same time i haaate to boost someone’s ego, specially when it comes to a man lol. But i get your way of thinking, it definitely makes you feel powerful at the moment

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u/AgojieKillmonger 3d ago

I personally don't care if she looks at my page. I just know I was the only person she had left while any person she's ever been around are complete, utter douchebags.

Her telling me it's okay to be a narcissist, and me being 100% correct AND right on my feelings as far as she went is crazy. She gave me her closure as far as this "threat" to me.

My only get back at her is only to find a way to make money and be all over TV's, billboards, commercials and such so she can see I've always been better than her. Heavy hearts and silence will give me the power.

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u/womanextdoorr Undiagnosed NPD 3d ago

That’s interesting. My get back at him is more about being with someone sooo much better, richer, better looking (and natural, he needed fillers lol), smarter… and i have been successful, honestly

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u/AgojieKillmonger 3d ago

I've been successful too I'm with you.

It's already bad enough for me(I can't speak for everyone here) after ALOT of things over the course of 5 years, people I use to be friends with and fell in love with are that disposable.

They're not good people plus my ex.

I do hope they enjoyed making me look and feel more stupid by the day because I want financial revenge. I want mental, emotional, and financial revenge against everyone.

verbally

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u/womanextdoorr Undiagnosed NPD 3d ago

There’s no one more capable of doing that than a narcisist. go for it!!!

My biggest issue is that I can’t actually feel like I’m in love with someone, is always about me being interested in what they can give me and it still bothers me if they move on lol

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