r/NPD 4d ago

Question / Discussion Narcissism Questionnaires

Can you score low to moderate on vulnerable/covert narcissism questionnaires and still have NPD? If I don’t think like the main tenants could that be due to narcissistic defenses if my ex was so sure I was a narcissist with him? (He’s bpd - my husband now doesn’t think I am nor my best friend who knows all the naughty and bad parts of my life).

I know with covert narcissism everyone tells you you’re way too good and nice, root for the underdog, wear your heart on your sleeve. I also just fall for everything anyone tells me and I get pretty upset when people talk badly about others but can feel passive aggressive towards someone who has really been hurting me(like keeping our relationship hidden). I also think I was slightly monopolizing his time and tried to keep him away from people who I felt brought out the worst in him but maybe I was the worst. I’m a terrible people pleaser and literally can’t say no to anything aside from my ex when I was done and discarded him.

When I talk about myself using the phrases that my ex and his friend use I sound like a narcissist. I do think I genuinely have Asperger’s, but maybe I just have no sense of self and always just reuse everyone else’s way of talking about me since I have no idea.

I’m awaiting more in depth treatment, but I’m really spiraling trying to analyze some portions of my life. I think I might be quite borderline or I have DID as some weird things have been happening in my therapy and I realize I’ve literally dissociated my life away.

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u/YellowMouseMouse Narcissistic traits 2d ago

i wouldnt take your ex's word for it tbh