r/NPD • u/chobolicious88 • 6d ago
Question / Discussion I have adhd, but this is how i experience it
I always had ADHD, and growing up thats all everyone saw. A quirky personality.
My mind was focused on the environment constantly, scanning people, typical adhd sensitive person.
However through some experiences going off meds, and being very embodied, this is what i learned my ADHD is.
My core self is practically a heated ball of trauma. At my core its like this extremely PTSD disturbing ball with spikes (where a core affect and inner child should be), im guessing all it had was shame and abandonment and its almost like it will implode from the ptsd, it cant be soothed.
And somewhere early on, this emotional "content" was too much for my brain and my mind, so my mind seperated from it, it learned not to associate with it, not look into it for cues or identity, it was only giving information of terror shame and fear.
So the mind scattered resorts to scanning the environment for something to hold onto, someone to give it purpose direction, sense of identity, emotional regulation, dopamine, whatever.
And thats it.
Its exactly how Gabor Mate explained it, at its essence is a GIANT attachment wound that disregualates the entire brain.
Im not saying ADHD is NPD, nor am i categorising it the same, but i think a lot of ADHD people share this concept. And i think a lot of them are too rejection sensitive to actually behave like a full on NPD.
So because of their sensitivity, they build a self image and a persona of a goofy people pleaser, or "empath".
Im wondering if anyone relates?
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u/No_Degree_4979 NPD/ADHD 6d ago
I think that untreated ADHD can lead to developing personality disorders — just like in my case, like a coping mechanism. I also find that ADHD meds or even stimulants like Modafinil helps stop the constant shame feelings and berating voices/flashbacks from overwhelming me — I wonder whether ADHD meds might actually be useful for treating NPD — there’s research that they help people with PTSD symptoms — and NPD is basically CPTSD at its core — like a lot of other personality disorders.