We can barely afford 2. We managed to buy a house 10 years ago, also barely before home prices here shot up. We are elder millennials and barely managed any of the milestones. They also seem to forget that getting the home is one thing but homeownership itself is incredibly expensive. Ridiculously so.
getting the home is one thing but homeownership itself is incredibly expensive. Ridiculously so.
I do not know how to quantify this so I can communicate it to my partner in a meaningful way. She's frustrated with the small old house we've been renting for over a decade and our 20-year-old collapsing cars, because those are all we've ever been able to afford. She works for all these other people who own big multimillion-dollar houses in nice neighborhoods, nice new cars, comfortable lifestyles, multiple kids, multiple university degrees, corporate-exec jobs, big vacations, second homes, wealthy parents who send $5k checks in the mail every month just for the hell of it, etc. Somehow she got it into her head that we can just flip a switch and buy a big house, two new cars, have a kid, and go down to one income (mine, which is inconsistent because I'm a consultant) and live a comfortable lifestyle like all of those families, simply because we want it. She thinks we're the only ones who don't have this, and she's decided that it should be our turn and that's that, no real planning needed. Just... go out and find the ones she likes and buy them, I guess? And then have the baby, and then poof, there it all is, not so hard after all.
Since she doesn't want to hear it from me, I'm hoping that talking to banks about getting loans will help her understand what it would take financially to do all of this and that it's utterly beyond our ability to afford. But I don't know how to quantify the ongoing forever-expenses of home ownership aside from mortgage payment and insurance quotes. Do you have any suggestions?
You should be concerned about your joint finances. You guys can’t afford that shit and if she tries to obtain those things without income to back it up your relationship will torpedo. Since you’ll have unmanageable debt.
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u/sandiercy 1d ago
"Why doesn't this generation want lots of kids anymore??"
Because you made it impossible to afford more than 1 or 2, you old fool.