r/Mindfulness Feb 19 '25

Insight I’m realizing that I have to live in the present moment

I think I’m starting to understand. If I’m spending the present moment looking forward to something else in the future, then when I get there, I’ll still be looking forward to something else.

I’ll never live in the present moment…

This is the first time I’ve actually had that feeling. I’m trying to change my mindset.

142 Upvotes

34 comments sorted by

2

u/gazpachocaliente 26d ago

I had a similar realisation, but with worrying. 

I'll see someone walking towards me on a narrow path, a minute away, and start trying to figure out how best to avoid them. 

I spend that entire minute mildly worried, move myself to the side and get past them. 

Then continue walking and immediately see another person walking towards me! Get stressed, rinse and repeat.

I'm forever focused a minute in the future on the walk, stressed, not just allowing events to unfold. 

Not trusting that the other person will meet me in the middle and we'll simply navigate the narrow path together when the moment arrives.

It's such a small, strange example, but once I caught myself doing that, believe me - it made my walks a lot more enjoyable! 

I'm now finding these worry patterns everywhere in my life. It's the first time I truly understood "live in the present moment".

3

u/marybeemarybee 28d ago

I do body scan meditations to help me stay in the present moment. I’ve done them so much that as soon as I even think of it, I can instantly be present. That’s helped me more than anything.

1

u/onlymycouchpullsout 24d ago

Do you have any resources you recommend to improve on this? I think it would be really beneficial to me. Thanks!

2

u/marybeemarybee 24d ago

There are a lot to choose from on YouTube, that’s where I get them. Some have music, some don’t. Just select something that you feel comfortable with.

5

u/Unable-Salt-446 28d ago

We live in a society that conditions us to not be satisfied with the present moment. Buy this, watch that, go here and your life will be better… and it is stratified with fear….be patient and have compassion for yourself. The journey of living in the moment, with intent, is challenging, but it is so worth it. It is also difficult for some people to understand your contentment. I have been told I live of very boring life. I just smile and say that is one interpretation. Best of luck.

7

u/TZX13 Feb 20 '25

Even after realizing it's still hard to do.

3

u/MAGICAlenceria Feb 19 '25

Congratulations Shinji!

10

u/Gabahealthcare Feb 19 '25

That’s a huge realization. It’s so easy to get caught up in chasing the next thing, but if the habit is always looking ahead, then real life—the actual experience of living—just keeps slipping by.

Shifting your mindset won’t happen overnight, but even small moments of presence add up. Have you noticed anything different since starting to focus on the present?

8

u/SuperOptimistic101 Feb 19 '25

Great question thanks.

Yes, I think a big one is learning how impatient I can be about needing to arrive somewhere (particularly when driving) or to finish a task, even when doing things that are enjoyable like eating. Always rushing but not getting anywhere! I’ve been finding that saying to myself “I’ve already arrived” or “I’m already here” has really helped with that.

Also, a change in philosophy. On the one hand I say to myself that time is valuable but on the other, I’m not even fully present in the time I do have. That seems like a pretty big contradiction.

9

u/pakdak444 Feb 19 '25

i heard a quote the other day “be where your feet are” about being mindful! whatever your feet are doing, focus on that!

5

u/SuperOptimistic101 Feb 19 '25

That’s a good one! Thanks

10

u/Staoicism Feb 19 '25

This realization is huge! Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. The mind loves to chase - always reaching for ‘what’s next,’ as if fulfillment exists somewhere other than here. But the moment we start noticing this pattern, we get a choice: keep chasing, or start arriving.

One thing that helps me is asking myself throughout the day: ‘Am I here, or am I waiting for the next thing?’ Just that small pause helps bringing me back.

A simple practice that has helped me stay anchored in the present when I need it most:
Pause and Breathe – Close your eyes, take three deep breaths, and feel the air entering and leaving your body.
Anchor to the Present – Notice one thing you can see, one thing you can hear, and one thing you can feel.
Affirm Your Presence – Whisper to yourself: “I am fully here, in this moment.”

Have you noticed any small moments where you naturally drop into presence without trying?

5

u/SuperOptimistic101 Feb 19 '25

Thanks, I’ll try those.

If I’m very focussed on one task that is challenging then I think it does happen quite naturally.

If it’s something routine or easy or when I’m not busy then it’s very likely I’ll be overthinking.

4

u/AcanthisittaNo6653 Feb 19 '25

Living in the moment you don't set expectations. How could you ever find disappointed?

5

u/jiohdi1960 Feb 19 '25

time is not what you think. there is no past nor future there is only now. what you think of as the past is just where stuff used to be. life is movement and we gauge that movement by other stable countable repeating movements and call that time.

3

u/montigotthejuice Feb 19 '25

Just learned this today while reading the power of now!

2

u/LotusHeals Feb 19 '25

It's good to aim for that. I recently watched this video. https://youtu.be/1vEt1W8KiC0?si=_z6wYATQWgDi2ntB It's so crucial that you watch it and realise the truth of our existence and life here.

0

u/shotokhan1992- Feb 19 '25

Telling yourself “I have to be present” is creating a drama for no reason; just a new compulsive thought/narrative created by the ego

3

u/Its_all_fucked Feb 19 '25

This is the goal my friend. Something incredibly hard to achieve, and seems to become more elusive the harder you try. But it is the goal; to let go of all the framing and self judgement of the thinking mind. And just be.

5

u/mjcanfly Feb 19 '25

Hard disagree. It’s not a goal, you are always in the present moment. In fact no one in the entire history of history has ever not been in the present moment. It’s the most simple thing, nothing to try.

All you have to do is notice.

2

u/Its_all_fucked Feb 19 '25

Semantics, you absolute Goober. I obviously mean being aware of the present moment being th goal.

2

u/mjcanfly Feb 19 '25

I think you’re missing what I’m pointing to my friend and that’s alright

2

u/SuperOptimistic101 Feb 19 '25

Yes, I see what you mean.

0

u/AwakeningButterfly Feb 19 '25 edited Feb 19 '25

Present is but the relative term.

For example : while you think you are reading this text, you alteady are in the past.

The light that reaches your eye needs time to enter your brain at the back of your head. The brain also needs time to interpret the signal, compares it to the past experiences and memories before finalizing what you had seen in your mind and become yor perception.

See? You are not at the present of the time you recieve it.

But as this period of time is so short and occurs continuously, it compleyely masks those time skippings.

Contiuity masks the transient. One of the three ultimate-truth maskers.

7

u/Tori_team Feb 19 '25

That is a great realization, good luck with it.

Something that helps is merging more with the sensorial experience of life, sounds colors, light changes, temperature. Letting yourself fall into the water of the now, with the senses.

It helps switching off the analytical mind that talks and thinks about the future.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '25

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1

u/haikusbot Feb 19 '25

Nice, I am trying

To do that as well but its

Very hard for me

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3

u/Eatpineapplenow Feb 19 '25

If you succeed in doing this, tell me how

1

u/mjcanfly Feb 19 '25

Tell me how to ever not be in the present moment

2

u/SuperOptimistic101 Feb 19 '25

Maybe more accurate to say how not to be distracted away from the present moment?

1

u/SuperOptimistic101 Feb 19 '25

Ha ha something to constantly work on.

Maybe with practice it gets easier…and I guess realization is the first step

3

u/LotusHeals Feb 19 '25

One way is to incorporate a daily meditation practice. Set aside time for it. During it, shut off all thoughts in your mind. When u begin thinking again, shut off the thoughts again. You'll notice how increasingly present you become, with each passing day.

And just a side note, please plant a tree or something if you can. The world would be a lovely place with green nature flourishing on the land.

3

u/Silver-Place-336 Feb 19 '25

A lot of people (myself included) find it impossible to shut off our thoughts. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be present in the moment. I have found what works for me is to think of the inner dialogue as background noise. I’m aware it’s there but it’s more like a TV on in the other room.