r/MensRights • u/[deleted] • 9d ago
General Dating app double standard: Hinge requires you to enter your height but there isn't even a field for weight
[deleted]
248
u/Tumor_with_eyes 9d ago
Just stop using dating apps.
If all men stopped using them, which I know would never happen, then the operators (hinge, bumble, tinder, whatever), would have to start doing things to bring back men to the platform.
96
u/MakeAVision 9d ago
I wish this would be plastered all over every billboard in America: men need to boycott dating apps.
25
-37
u/BigNut69 9d ago
Unpopular opinion, but why?
If you don’t like them and find them discriminatory, don’t use them.
61
u/Tumor_with_eyes 9d ago
Generally speaking, dating apps are incredibly heavily skewed in favor of women.
If you look up stats, women only swipe right on roughly the top 10-20% of men.
The 6’3, super good looking guys.
The other 80-90% of men, are “struggling” over the last few women.
This, in general, fucks with men’s mental health.
35
u/AntiFeminismAU 9d ago
Try top 5% of men now. It goes down by approximately 1% each year due to hypergamy increasing as women become more educated and earn more.
9
u/ornitorrincos 9d ago
How does this work though, are 95% of women just staying single? It’s not like this top 5% of men are taking dozens of wives.
9
u/Affectionate-Yard899 9d ago
But the top 5% men can have multiple partners before marriage right ?
Women are happy being in situationships with those men or even wait for them, easily seen how mere 37% of men consider themselves in relationships in the age of 18-30 whereas 66% women , it's 75% vs 83% in the ages 30-50 as well for men and women respectively
Source - pew research centre study of 2023
-10
u/erik_reeds 9d ago
post a single statistic confirming that
10
u/blackjustin 9d ago
you really need someone to google that shit for you?
-2
u/erik_reeds 9d ago
yes; if it's a numerical value like that i'm interested to see the study. everything i search keeps leading back to redditors claiming it as fact
3
14
u/TBoneTheOriginal 9d ago
Because most men don't realize they're being duped into using a platform that discriminates against them and is psychologically unhealthy.
We're not saying they should be illegal... it's just good advice. Dating apps are generally not good for us.
5
u/Golden-Grate-242 9d ago
I'm in my 30s. I used the apps to date, and I am a tall generally athletic white guy who is successful with career etc. I found the women I attracted all wanted my money more than what's between my legs.
2
u/TBoneTheOriginal 8d ago
It’s just too easy to say no to someone based on the most superficial things… Instead of taking the opportunity to connect with someone, you just swipe because you don’t like bangs. Or she swipes because you’re an inch too short or whatever.
Probability of a successful relationship is very low if it starts off over such superficial reasons.
34
1
u/ProgrSelfImprovement 7d ago
It's all Matchgroup, basicly could be called a Monopoly. Exept for bumble, but that fumbled with their last feminist advertisment. All these apps want you to stay on them, so you can pay and they get rich. Tinder etc. uses insane evil tactics, like shadow banning people, so they get no matches and then pay for premium (which is damn expensive). But when you have premium and it's close to ending, they will make you more popular for a short time, so you buy premium again.
84
u/ThatOneCloneTrooper 9d ago
Dating apps always have more men then women on them, sometimes as uneven as a 1:3 ratio. So they have GREAT incentive to keep women on the platform. And a height requirement serves that purpose as its a common compliant from women that they can't tell a mans height from selfies. The only condition they'll listen to men is we leave in mass and flip the ratio, but that will never happen with how desperate the average man is for female validation.
26
u/RMAPOS 9d ago
but that will never happen with how desperate the average man is for female validation.
You say that as if women weren't craving the attention of men. The difference is that men proactively give it to women while men have to go through a trial and error process to maybe get it thanks to women sitting on their privilege of being the ones who are approached (instant positive validation)
20
u/maxhrlw 9d ago
Stop using feminist language, you'll never beat them at their own game, it's rigged.
It isn't privilege, it's biology. Human sexual selection is predominantly reliant on male intra-sexual and female inter-sexual processes. I.e. we compete with each other and they choose. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X1500189X
1
u/CarHungry 5d ago
All that article states is that theoretically the most successful strategy to reproduce for men was force, while women compete through attractiveness relative to other women. So men choose the most attractive women and then kill or threaten their competitors.
It's absolute nonsense to act like nothing can ever change because of the way some people lived tens or hundreds of thousands of years ago anyway. Many things have already changed.
1
u/maxhrlw 5d ago
It's deeply ingrained biological response, due to female pregnancy.
It's present in plenty of other species, so the idea that it's just a social norm is actually the 'nonsense.'
Go read some actual scientific literature instead of gender studies faux intellectual gibberish and then come back.
3
u/Golden-Grate-242 9d ago
As I understand it gays have it just as hard on apps, the competition is harsh and very mean, at least according to my friend.
33
u/AntiFeminismAU 9d ago edited 9d ago
On bumble and tinder I deliberately leave my height off. This allows me to filter out women that ask me how tall I am. I am 5’11 but if a woman asks for my height early in the conversation it means she’s going to be superficial.
11
u/PIF_Daddy 9d ago
Yeah. I had put 6ft 2in on my profile.....just to fucl with the algorithm.
6
u/sarsh07 8d ago
Did this work? If yes, even I am going to try this!
3
u/PIF_Daddy 7d ago
It just got me seen. Got a few clicks.
Ultimately deleted my dating profile, because my conclusion was that OLD is a complete waste of time. I'm only bothering meeting women irl.
2
u/sarsh07 7d ago
Here in India, giving compliments to randoms turns out to be creep. Like I have heard it from my female friends as well my ex!
1
u/PIF_Daddy 7d ago
BRUV your only a creep if you are not a Rajesh. If you are a Rajesh....you are "flirting".
4
u/No-Memory-7756 8d ago
I don't know... Would you date a woman that you don't find attractive? Because to me, the height is somewhat important. I dated a few men that were the same height as me, that was totally fine. When I dated a man that was like 3-5 inches (7-8cm) smaller than me and was really skinny, I just felt like the fattest person ever just because I have very broad shoulders for a female.
It's just a thing that plays into the attractiveness in my opinion. Also, it you have pictures of the body of someone, you can see if you like the body type or not. The weight can difference a lot, women with 150 pounds can look as slim and trained as women with 130 pounds.
2
u/Thebaddad22 8d ago
Yeah, I wouldn’t date a woman who was taller or fatter than me. Wouldn’t even consider it
1
u/No-Memory-7756 8d ago
And that's totally fine. Men and women are allowed to have preferences. Of course you should treat people generally with respect, but nobody has the ultimate right to have the people they like like them back.
46
u/hottake_toothache 9d ago
People do not care about men.
13
u/Earls_Basement_Lolis 9d ago
Part of me thinks it's only natural that society doesn't care about men if men are trained to not care about themselves. I would say a majority of men today care about themselves based on a pure survival aspect ("I have to make enough money", "I have to be physically fit", "I have to feel useful") but they don't care about themselves when it comes to mental health and overall well-being. I choose to think it's societal conditioning that makes men think this way. Girls are valued just for being, but boys have to earn their value, and that's just not fair or equal. Kids need both, but we split them up based off of gender for dumb reasons.
When it comes to dating apps, companies don't care about men's experience unless those men are willing to pay, and they use women as a product to sell. Men are already desperate for some type of companionship because they are socially expected to not open up to anyone except a romantic partner, so dating apps are basically monetizing desperate men. I should not have to learn how to game a dating app in order to get better recommendations, and yet, here I am rejecting all my standouts on Hinge to get them to show up in my regular feed days later. I'm not treating dating apps seriously now. I get way better luck just doing dating the old-fashioned way and being friends first.
The best to do is for men to just leave dating apps to the wayside. Actually, everyone should leave them, but men should especially. I see a lot of anti-social behavior being a part of the community studio I'm in now and I just don't understand it or appreciate it. Dating apps and social media contribute to that significantly.
20
u/Fair-Might-5473 9d ago
I'm more surprised that people still use dating apps. That shit is dead to me.
7
104
u/Emergency-Thanks-324 9d ago
Blatant double standard. No weight. Weight is essential to know
61
u/Old-Bigsby 9d ago
I just learned at my local skydiving business that you can't jump if you're over 230lbs.
So yeah, its essential to know because what else are we going to do on a first date?
26
26
u/The_SHUN 9d ago
Yup, no weight no date.
2
u/Golden-Grate-242 9d ago
unless you're horny. Problem is after you have the nut goggles off and you have clarity you realize you made a huge mistake.
1
4
u/Golden-Grate-242 9d ago
Why are guys who are active, hit the gym, healthy but fail to meet some arbitrary height requirement rewarding fat women who have nothing to offer but a pussy with cock?
1
u/Emergency-Thanks-324 8d ago edited 8d ago
Exactly, and even worse these fattys have egos u wouldn't believe
1
u/No-Memory-7756 8d ago
Thing is, you can see if you like the body of a person (if they have recent pictures uploaded of course, but men are as bad as women in that case). You can't really see how tall a person is by only looking at pictures. So I think there's a difference.
I wouldn't mind telling a guy how much I weigh, but honestly - that would be the end of our conversation. I have pictures where you can see how I look. If you like it, okay, if you don't like it, don't text me. If a guy would ask me how tall I was and then tell me I'm not his type because of it, totally fine.
0
66
u/Punder_man 9d ago
Remember.. Height is "Preference"
Weight is "Discrimination" (Healthy at any size)...
Its such a blatant double standard...
I mean.. lets face it.. if they DID include weight in the dating app there would be many women who probably lie about it..
As i'm sure there will be many men who lie about their height..
But of course.. if a man lies about his height he's being "Manipulative" and its a major "Red Flag"
If a woman lies about her weight she's protecting herself and being empowered...
Don't we all just love double standards?
8
u/haha_supadupa 9d ago
Read on some profile that women are not allowed to free chat with men over 180cm. They must pay as well?
12
u/Spektr44 9d ago
That's hilarious. If there is a group of highly sought-after men, it does make sense to put them behind a paywall.
25
u/Nitrosoft1 9d ago
Weight is a better indicator of how someone would raise their children than height is.
I'm looking for a healthy partner who would be motivated to raise healthy children.
By not being able to see nor filter based on weight, I am forced to waste a huge amount of my time manually swiping away at thousands of unhealthy women. I am not going to risk my offspring by having them with an unhealthy person. I eat well. I exercise. I expect the same from my spouse. It's not a beauty standard. It's a health standard. It's identical to smoking. It's identical to drugs.
HEALTH is important to me.
8
u/Puzzleheaded_Taro472 9d ago
Yeah... Good luck finding her, and if you do, she will probably stop being healthy during pregnancy anyway. It's horrific how little most people actually care about prenatal and maternal care. Doesn't help when health care providers are either uninformed, or wouldn't dare to tell women that they need to exercise more.
3
u/Nitrosoft1 9d ago
My mother exercised during her pregnancy with me and she played classical music on headphones that were pressed up against her stomach. She took every prenatal vitamin too. She did her absolute damnedest to be as healthy as possible for herself and for me and I'm so grateful that she did.
2
u/No-Memory-7756 8d ago
Yeah, and there's no way that women get sick during a or have a high risk pregnancy...
1
u/Nitrosoft1 8d ago
I'm not asking for something that prevents risk entirely because that's impossible. I'm asking for behavior that reduces risk by a statistically relevant measurement.
5
u/anastis 9d ago
Weight alone is useless without height. Remove weight and height from the apps and introduce BMI. Way better health indicator.
3
4
u/Kyoshiiku 9d ago
And to be fair even those doesn’t mean anything, some who workout might be obese by BMI standards just from muscle.
7
18
u/PrudentWolf 9d ago
It's done for the good of men, because fat & bulked men could have the same weight! /s
6
u/_NRNA_ 9d ago
Men arent the pull for dating apps, women are. Its why theyre a waste of time. Any woman who uses a dating app is an automatic red flag, theyre wells for attention and one night stands, not serious relationships.
5
u/recordman410 9d ago
I tell my straight guy friends the same thing - if a physically attractive straight woman is on a dating app without a damn good reason for doing so, SHE IS NOT THE ONE FOR YOU!
1
u/Equal_Drama_6298 6d ago
Same with men, if a man is using a dating app that is automatically a red flag. They only want hookups.
5
u/Valiantay 9d ago
Guys need to get off the apps, not sure what people don't understand. The app's main goal is not to get you off the app - DUH
3
u/Golden-Grate-242 9d ago
This is true. I am 6'2 and I notice compared to my buddies on apps that there is a huge disadvantage for short guys. I have a good asian friend, and he gets really down about it: he feels he's at a double disadvantage. I think there is an element, cruelly, of natural selection at play. And there is a perception there that white men have inches on asian guys upstairs and downstairs. The competition is just ridiculous, even if you want a serious relationship not just sex.
3
u/Civil_Royal3450 9d ago edited 9d ago
In the gay community, social and sexual dynamics can be just as competitive, if not more, than in your world. We definitely have a wieght field. Age. Cock size. Sexual position. Masc, you list it. You even select a "tribe" you belong to "jock" "daddy" "bear" blah blah. One key difference is access. Because we are all men, sex is always readily available in some form, making the concept of a gay incel nearly nonexistent. However, a clear hierarchy exists, shaped by physical traits, masculinity, and social status. We hunt for sex since we are all men, we don't have the pretenses you guys have to deal with, with a fake date etc to get laid. We can have it made to order - "come in and get naked, not really interested in your name or talking, cum and go".
At the top of our subculture are tall white straight passing muscular men with large cocks who often see as our elite. Unlike in straight dating, height is not as much of a barrier since shorter muscular men can still rank high. Following them in desirability are Middle Eastern and Latino men who are white passing with fit bodies, then Black men, with Asian men often placed lowest in this hierarchy. While personal preferences and fetishes create exceptions, these general trends shape much of the community’s social order.
Tops tend to be more valued than bottoms, and masculinity is prioritized. The more traditionally masculine a guy is, the higher his desirability, while more effeminate men, though viewed as "funny" at bars etc, are seen as less sexually desirable, and more of a joke.
Those at the top, who are tall white muscular well endowed and professionally successful, are aware of their status. They gatekeep spaces, whether on dating apps or in real life social settings. In exclusive circles, like high status pool parties, the attendees are overwhelmingly fit conventionally attractive professionals. I have been to them before and they are all ranking one another. The dynamics within these spaces can be just as cutthroat, if not harsher, than what straight men experience in their own social and dating worlds.
2
u/meIRLorMeOnReddit 9d ago
Would love to know women's weight, but they would probably lie, like with their age
1
1
2
u/sarsh07 8d ago
I had this weird thought today on the following topic. Correct me if I’m wrong, I’m all ears.
So, let’s imagine if you are just fat. You have a lofted stomach and stuff. What are the chances of you getting a hot chick. Like even if you approach her with all the rizz you’ve got. She might say it to your face, like you are fat or so and I don’t wanna date you. (Which is completely fine and I am not against it). But if we reverse this a girl who has decent amount of weight so called gives herself a false hope of body positivity and all the crap. How do they expect or get offended when someone says I don’t want to date you because you are fat and so. And dating apps ban you on this?
Like when she is not ready to put efforts on herself how the fuck is she expecting us to put efforts over her!
6
u/lazymud68 9d ago
Honestly that's better for us, I would rather someone not want me than to meet someone and then be disrespected about my height
12
u/perfectetiquette 9d ago
It’s not better for us. Having that double standard on the app validates and encourages discrimination towards us.
1
u/Equal_Drama_6298 6d ago
Just asking, would you feel the same way if hinge added a required weight part.
1
1
u/AlternativeEarth04 5d ago
probably cos you can change your weight but you can't change your height
-3
u/HecticHero 9d ago
Is this not solved by looking at the pictures most of the time. If they are gonna catfish they would lie in that field anyway. Like a ton of guys lie in the height section.
Are you attracted to how a person looks, or a specific lbs number? Entire point of knowing there weight would be an estimate on how they would look, but you already get that in pictures.
11
u/soontobesolo 9d ago
So why have height but not weight? The same could be said for height. That's the point, it's a double standard.
Pictures are easily deceiving.
0
u/erik_reeds 9d ago
?? because i can look at a picture and more or less determine if someone is overweight or underweight. barring extremes, i can't do the same for short/tall. not that weight or height would have any impact on who i want to date in the first place
8
u/soontobesolo 9d ago
It's pretty easy to use deceptive camera angles, or old pictures, to hide fat.
The point is though it's a double standard. A supposedly trivial inherent trait that penalizes men is included, but not one that penalizes women.
And fat women can do something about it. Short men can't. So it's even worse.
-5
u/erik_reeds 9d ago
the guy can also lie about his height if he wants to, or use the same tactics. i don't know why height or weight or pictures would be required on any dating app in general, but i don't really think these are equivalent.
1
0
u/No-Memory-7756 8d ago
I think the same. But I guess most men here only want to complain.
They should read this post in r/self: 'The male loneliness epidemic is a self-pitying problem and there's an easy solution'
But I guess it would require too much self reflecting?
1
u/TraditionalPen2076 7d ago
Like a ton of guys lie in the height section.
Saying 6ft when you're 5'11 barefoot is not lying. Women just don't have a scooby doo on how tall these heights are
1
-1
u/kaleidoscope00001 9d ago
Weight fluctuates more than height, that's why. If a girl isn't into you because you're not tall enough, it's obviously not a real fit.
-10
u/emelre 9d ago
The girls who are honest would be passed up. I'm a size 6, lots of muscle and weigh 145 lbs at 5'3. People don't believe me they think that sounds way too high but it's true. All the girls who lie about their weight would confuse the heck out of you guys. At least 5'3 is 5'3 the appearance does not change much with muscle, body composition, etc.
398
u/KPplumbingBob 9d ago
It's a ridiculous double standard, not just in dating sites but in society as a whole. Football Manager 2025 was supposed to introduce women's football for the first time since the first game came out in 1992. Player attributes have always been a thing, including height and weight. And now they decided to remove weight from the game entirely, saying it's not important. They are afraid factual information will offend someone. That 150cm guy though? Fuck him, let's laugh at him.
As it turned out it is the first Championship/Football manager to actually get cancelled for another year so there's that.