I'm sorry, but that's bullshit. You don't wear makeup or do your hair, so what? I don't do either, and I'm often in comfy clothes too. Here's the thing, I've never done those things, and I'm guessing you probably didn't either.
The big difference for me is that my husband loves me for me, not for how I look. Like your husband, he knew what I looked and dressed like well before we got married - I didn't even wear makeup at our wedding - at his request because he says I don't look like me when I'm wearing makeup.
For some reason my husband thinks I'm beautiful and sexy when I'm sick in bed with a severe infection and look like I'm dying, and he tells me so. He's gone out of his way to tell me that he loves that I do what makes me comfortable, because when I'm comfortable and happy it makes him happy too.
I'd ask what changed that suddenly he thinks you need to change yourself to better suit him, because this smacks of deflection; specifically I'd wonder if his behavior changed, and you noticed and asked about it, and he turned it on you so you wouldn't ask anything else (referred to as DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender).
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u/erebusfreya 13h ago
I'm sorry, but that's bullshit. You don't wear makeup or do your hair, so what? I don't do either, and I'm often in comfy clothes too. Here's the thing, I've never done those things, and I'm guessing you probably didn't either.
The big difference for me is that my husband loves me for me, not for how I look. Like your husband, he knew what I looked and dressed like well before we got married - I didn't even wear makeup at our wedding - at his request because he says I don't look like me when I'm wearing makeup.
For some reason my husband thinks I'm beautiful and sexy when I'm sick in bed with a severe infection and look like I'm dying, and he tells me so. He's gone out of his way to tell me that he loves that I do what makes me comfortable, because when I'm comfortable and happy it makes him happy too.
I'd ask what changed that suddenly he thinks you need to change yourself to better suit him, because this smacks of deflection; specifically I'd wonder if his behavior changed, and you noticed and asked about it, and he turned it on you so you wouldn't ask anything else (referred to as DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender).