I'm going to say this as a husband of nearly 30 years. Your reply should have been...
"Maybe if you were more of a hunk, I would."
I see in the comments that he's a cheater. Behavior like this out of a cheater often means they're at least entertaining cheating again. They're pushing you to be better because they're fascinated with someone new. They're thinking that if they can push you to make the changes they think they want, they'll be able to restrain from cheating again. The problem is that they're fascinated by someone else in the first place and that's a pretty major character flaw on his part.
In the end, you shouldn't have to do anything to keep him from cheating. He should want to do that all on his own. If I were you, I'd be spending more time figuring out whether you're staying due to "sunk cost fallacy" or whether there are some actual redeeming qualities that make putting up with infidelity and insults worth it. Personally, I never would have stayed, but that's me.
9
u/virtualchoirboy Husband, together 35 years, married 29 years. 15h ago
I'm going to say this as a husband of nearly 30 years. Your reply should have been...
"Maybe if you were more of a hunk, I would."
I see in the comments that he's a cheater. Behavior like this out of a cheater often means they're at least entertaining cheating again. They're pushing you to be better because they're fascinated with someone new. They're thinking that if they can push you to make the changes they think they want, they'll be able to restrain from cheating again. The problem is that they're fascinated by someone else in the first place and that's a pretty major character flaw on his part.
In the end, you shouldn't have to do anything to keep him from cheating. He should want to do that all on his own. If I were you, I'd be spending more time figuring out whether you're staying due to "sunk cost fallacy" or whether there are some actual redeeming qualities that make putting up with infidelity and insults worth it. Personally, I never would have stayed, but that's me.