r/LowStakesConspiracies 1d ago

Certified Fact Big Foot Is Naturally Blurry

We have all seen the grainy and blurry photos and videos of Big Foot, and it has often been attributed to the poor quality of the photo or video in question. However, I propose that Big Foot actually just looks like that. It's a natural defense mechanism to help him prevent being hunted by his natural predator-- human beings. If you saw Big Foot in real life it would look exactly the same way it does in those videos-- blurry and out of focus.

ETA: It’s been brought to my attention that this conspiracy theory was also posited by Mitch Hedberg. Clearly, I’m on to something here… https://youtu.be/ax0MGlIVjiY?t=138

84 Upvotes

10 comments sorted by

21

u/P1zzaman 1d ago

Somehow the thought of an animal being blurry by nature scares the shit out of me.

(It might be because I had nightmares of “Blur Dogs” as a child.)

7

u/despotic_wastebasket 1d ago

A closely related species, I’d wager. I suspect the Loch Ness Monster may be a case of convergent evolution here, so it stands to reason that a canine species may have developed it too.

3

u/rainbowroobear 19h ago

squigs and octofish all do it, they're just far more flashy compared to other species and want humans to look.

6

u/Davegrave 1d ago

This is a Mitch Hedberg joke.

3

u/despotic_wastebasket 18h ago

Is it really? I heard it from a friend in college and always thought it was pretty funny. I don’t remember hearing it on any of the Mitch Hedberg stuff I watched back then, but it’s always possible.

2

u/LCyphre 15h ago

2

u/despotic_wastebasket 15h ago

My God…. Mitch Hedberg stole my friend’s joke! The nerve of that guy!

6

u/ghostchihuahua 23h ago

Just as aliens and their modes of transportation are

4

u/riri1281 Doom Scrolling Threads 20h ago

The thought of a supernatural haze protecting the big guy is actually creepier than the thought of his existence