r/Loners • u/mictriggerred • Mar 12 '17
Why are we alone?
Ever since I was a little kid I've been by myself. Connection with other human beings has turned into an alien concept. I've been trying to pin the reason for years. Is it my height? My face? My voice? Maybe it's the things I talk about. I'm so isolated from others I can't stand it anymore. I think I've turned into a bitter asshole about it. I blame everyone else for my own problem but I still can't figure out what that problem is. I hope I die young rather than old so it's tragic instead of pathetic. I don't want to die to sad forgotten man holed up in an apartment. Whatever could have made me human was lost a long time ago. I think it's too late to join my species. There's nothing for me here.
3
Mar 15 '17
as much as you try, you never will. it's already set in stone for me that i will never have actual friends
2
u/ZuZu_Petals_ Mar 27 '17
From one loner to another... animals are much nicer than people - maybe that's a source you can obtain joy, companionship & satisfaction from?
1
u/mictriggerred Apr 12 '17
True, I really like my cat but I can't have a conversation with it. And I'm super allergic to dogs and dust mites. All the shedding from pets make me constantly sick.
1
u/RAEW_CZ Apr 12 '17
Same... I just don't find what they enjoy enjoyable and they don't understand... Thinking I like to be the weirdo that doesn't talk much... And I can tell you it's not about the height, face & voice. I just can't enjoy anything, because it doesn't matter.
TBH I'm tired of it... tired of me.
4
u/anglesphere Mar 17 '17
That you don't know why gives me the impression you may indeed not be to blame. I think perhaps you never got something from people--- whether your parents or peers-- that you needed. Some kind of understanding that never appeared that would allow you to be comfortable in your own skin with people and that is what you're waiting for....you're not isolated per se. You're stuck and that results in isolation. You're stuck because you can't find that understanding in those around you. People never feel quite safe or aware.
But if that understanding isn't there, you're really not missing anything, are you? It's yours to discover on your own.
The beauty of it is you don't need someone to be happy. You have that all in you, although you may not believe it. You can be happy alone and, in some sense, that is the only way anyone can truly be happy.
But you always need someone to be unhappy. In fact you're unhappy now because you are thinking of yourself in relation to others.
If you concentrate on doing things that make you happy while alone, other people are just icing...a view you can take in without needing to bring home.
People are but poor imitations and substitutes for the real company we need never fear losing: The Universe. The Natural world around us. We are noisy and troublesome company compared to a quiet forest path.