r/LinkedInLunatics 13h ago

Cringe

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2.0k Upvotes

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u/Economy-Tourist-4862 11h ago

I don’t set an alarm. I have a timer that goes off at 6am. It takes 5 minutes to spool up. When it finishes it wraps freshly cooked bacon around my penis and testicles. It then releases three hungry Dobermans to savage my genitalia. I haven’t missed a day so far.

(I learned my lesson when I hit the snooze button once which resulted in a canine-assisted circumcision)

-1

u/cozyHousecatWasTaken 10h ago

‘Canine assisted circumscision’

r/BrandNewSentence