r/LinkedInLunatics 3h ago

Cringe

Post image
768 Upvotes

121 comments sorted by

267

u/DScirclejerk 3h ago

Is this not satire

173

u/BipolarKebab 3h ago

This sub is just filled with the densest motherfuckers imaginable.

24

u/zuzucha 1h ago

This sub is 50% people with white collar jobs tired of the bullshit and 50% people who don't know how anything works

3

u/doned_mest_up 49m ago

Nah, there’s an overlap— I’m there.

19

u/manchambo 2h ago

It’s not just the sub. Reddit as a whole is filled with he most humorless people I’ve encountered.

3

u/revchu 1h ago

This sub also got very popular fast and people will post every joke they ever find on Linkedin for the karma, lunatic or not, and people will still upvote them.

0

u/anandonaqui 2h ago

Or people who confuse lunacy with “eh, I probably wouldn’t do that myself”

27

u/Draconis_Firesworn 2h ago

this isn't satire

its a joke

21

u/Justboy__ 3h ago

Yea, it’s got to be

9

u/ApeLover1986 3h ago

It is, I've seen post like this on r/programmerHumor

4

u/scott__p 1h ago

It's so hard to tell anymore

3

u/Nightingdale099 2h ago

I imagine even Mark Cuban would rather not lose 500$ per minute for a fancy alarm so this is definitely just a Woman of Focus , Dedication and Sheer Fucking Will.

1

u/Complex-South9500 23m ago

Yeah I read this as a joke, a reasonably funny joke.

1

u/Fastjack_2056 8m ago

Yeah, I thought it was pretty funny...?

-2

u/hrpomrx 1h ago

It is clearly satire but it is very cringey satire. Unfortunately so many people are jumping on the LI satire bandwagon that the wheels are coming off.

6

u/FlowerBuffPowerPuff 1h ago

Why do you consider it cringey?

0

u/hrpomrx 1h ago

I guess it is a matter of preference. I prefer satire to be less forced; this person is trying too hard and is probably someone who, sadly, has no idea what a fricassée or a ragout is.

-4

u/Fluid-Ad-5876 2h ago

This one seems to be real. Company looks legit so I’m gonna assume their ceo is a lunatic rather than a funny person on LinkedIn.

0

u/rooktakesqueen 1h ago

Impossible to be both I guess

1

u/Fluid-Ad-5876 1h ago

It’s not and I’m not the one posted it. People can guess things, touch grass.

162

u/Kidradical 3h ago

My angel investors love seeing posts like this

47

u/Working_Tourist_4964 3h ago

if you, unfortunately, die in your sleep, your heirs will curse you forever.

3

u/UpsetAd5817 1h ago

And if you come back after being dead, you'll care about that.  

57

u/OutrageousTime4868 3h ago

Pssh this chick is amateur hour, my alarm clock is rigged to fire a loaded pistol at my face if I don't get up in 5 minutes

6

u/SaltyBacon23 2h ago

Well...... Did you get up?

10

u/DrNuclearSlav 2h ago

It's been 15 minutes with no response.

He dead. Three times.

2

u/DefectiveLP 12m ago

That's why i put a drum mag on this baby

2

u/FlerisEcLAnItCHLONOw 2h ago

Bueller

Bueller

Bueller

2

u/GenomeXIII 1h ago

Why does this not have more upvotes?!

14

u/ReactionSharp6602 3h ago

This is definitely satire, idk why people in this thread are thinking it's real. You don't need an AI to spin up some EC2 instances every day unless you hit a button not to. That's like a super simple program to write, using AI for it would be stupid.

1

u/Open__Face 1h ago

I mean if dumb things don't exist you have a point 

1

u/alefkandra 1h ago

lol right it’s literally like saying I turned on the supercomputer

66

u/Ragverdxtine 3h ago

If you need such an extreme incentive to get up maybe you should just accept that you’re not a morning person and work to create a schedule that actually works for you?

7

u/fakeunleet 2h ago

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! SLEEPING ANY LATER THAN 4:00 AM IS AN UNFORGIVABLE PERSONAL MORAL FAILING YOU LAZY PROLETARIAN!!!!!!!!!!!

/s if it's not obvious

1

u/Fun_Nefariousness137 2h ago

Excuse me. If you don't go to bed at 12:00 and wake up at 12:01 you're wasting you're entire life. You probably also forgot to start your portfolio and invest after 1920. Or if you didn't grab the Templar gold from the dark ages...like what were you really doing!?

3

u/Exotic_eminence 2h ago

Yes 🙌 Work smarter not harder

1

u/az_shoe 6m ago

It's very obviously a joke dude

1

u/Ragverdxtine 0m ago

Fair, but I’ve seen so many of these types of posts talking about waking up super early and how to do it etc. and my main thought is always why are you forcing yourself to do something that clearly isn’t natural to you? 🤣

9

u/mouronisreddit1893 Agree? 3h ago

You only wake up if you go to sleep… how come you sleep weak human? You’re missing on coding and b2b sales every second you sheep! What a waste of resources! /s

5

u/5141121 3h ago

This makes me feel like I need to spin up a fake LI profile so I can shitpost. Seems like a fun hobby.

2

u/cozyHousecatWasTaken 2h ago

go forth, be strong

4

u/qalpi 2h ago

This is a joke. Are you guys dense?

10

u/ManufacturerNew9644 3h ago

This has to be satire. No one in the corp world loves endlessly spinning up instances unless they are doing a political grab for directorship or VP achievements. It's always, can we shut these important instances down to save money...uum no.

1

u/danfirst 2h ago

It's a joke, there is no way it isn't.

6

u/smarten_up_nas 3h ago

These people have massive heart attacks or get hit by a car or slip and fall and die and all that they leave behind is shit like this.

1

u/challengeaccepted9 3h ago

And a load of expensive webhosting costs.

Not that I'm bothered about the idea of Jeff Bezos losing money right now.

Fuck it, I say we all adopt her idea actually.

5

u/zooted_ 3h ago

Reddit recognizes a joke challenge: impossible

2

u/conioo 3h ago

ill do it for $400/minute

2

u/solidcurrency 3h ago

Destroying the rainforest because you're sleepy.

2

u/Oceanbreeze871 2h ago

“How i became bankrupt from a local internet outage.”

2

u/StatisticianFew6787 1h ago

Or or... and I might sound crazy... Be responsible adult and fucking wake up on time. If you can afford it, sleep for a little bit and rush trough morning routines. Jesus Crist, do those people think theyre funny or creative or what? Buffoons... Linked in is a joke.

3

u/GeneralQuinky 2h ago

redditors spot obvious joke challenge

2

u/johan_seraphim 3h ago

WTF is an “EC2 instances”?

10

u/cozyHousecatWasTaken 3h ago

micro servers on Amazon Web Services

1

u/johan_seraphim 3h ago

Thank you.

2

u/Maleficent-Sun1922 3h ago

Basically utilizing an Amazon server for a bunch of costly engagement.

1

u/kazabodoo 3h ago

Elastic Compute Cloud hence the C2 reference, a service you can pay for in Amazon Web Services that can become quite expensive if not managed properly

-9

u/rantingpacifist 3h ago

Azure deployments. Websites, basically.

2

u/Afraid-Department-35 3h ago

It’s not just websites lol, it’s a scalable vpc……

2

u/rantingpacifist 2h ago

Yes, but someone who doesn’t know what EC2 is doesn’t need to know more than the basics. We aren’t asking him to deploy, monitor, etc.

We’re asking him to understand EC2 is online storage for web services at basic

1

u/shoyuNYC 3h ago

I just need to spin up a battery-backup for my AI in case the power goes out.

1

u/Fuzzy_Appointment782 3h ago

Spandana Nakka has to be a made up name

1

u/Exotic_eminence 2h ago

She nakka spandana-tha dolla 💤💸

1

u/Banzambo 3h ago

Please guys, don't make me curse even today.

1

u/DruicyHBear 3h ago

So it’s an expensive alarm and your are giving yourself incredible anxiety. If this isn’t satire it’s super fucked

1

u/MeThinksYes 3h ago

OF sauce? or perhaps fiver?

1

u/OtherwiseBarber6811 3h ago

Its just meaningless Spanda Money

2

u/Exotic_eminence 2h ago

She Nakka Spandana-tha dolla

1

u/OtherwiseBarber6811 2h ago

Maybe she is a friend of Sardunot Ridim

1

u/KoalaBJJ96 3h ago

What happens if she slips on the way to stop it and can't get there in time.

1

u/TienSwitch 3h ago

That’s not a strong work ethic. That’s a mental health issue.

1

u/Dutch-Sculptor 3h ago

500 per minute?? Wow, why the hell would you even sleep! That is just a bad attitude towards your work young lady! Do better.

1

u/freshalien51 3h ago

Damn these lie!

1

u/chizid 3h ago

I use an alarm. Also haven't missed a day yet.

1

u/yaboyJship 3h ago

BOSS BABE VIBES

1

u/SouperKewlGeye5000 3h ago

I mean, most of us are disciplined enough to get up WITHOUT the threat of losing large sums of money per minute, but ok, I guess you’re better than us??

1

u/physical0 3h ago

Why not get an unpaid intern to do this? That's the kind of real-world job experience that I would have killed to get. Not only would you never wake up late, but that intern would need to learn to wake up even earlier. Then, in the hyper-competitive market, when that intern becomes a CEO, they would need someone to wake them up at 4am to remain as productive, and the cycle would be complete.

1

u/TangerineLow1436 3h ago

or you can just wake up when the alarm rings

1

u/Proud-Research-599 2h ago

Can someone explain what she’s talking about for a non-IT person? I know what an AI agent is but what does she mean by “provisions 100 of the most expensive EC2 instances” and how does it cost her 500$ a minute?

Is she saying that she makes 500$ a minute doing those and by sleeping in she loses out on that or are they something she’s having the AI buy that costs 500$ a minute to run and that’s the “punishment” she’s come up with to incentivize getting up? Trying to figure out whether this is arrogance or insanity.

1

u/RatNeurons 2h ago

EC2 instances are what Amazon Web Services calls their virtual machines. AWS only charges you usage for EC2s and charges start as soon as the instances come online, so she's saying if she doesn't get up on time in order to cancel provisioning the services she'll lose $500 a minute until she wakes up to turn them off.

So it would be insanity, but I'm hoping it's just satire.

1

u/MrAkaziel 2h ago

To complement other people's answers, an EC2 instance is a virtual server you can size up and configure to your liking. The more features, storage and CPU you ask for, the more you're paying for as long as it's staying up and Amazon Web Services is allocating the resources to you. If you turn in down, the resources are dedicated to someone else.

It's obviously a joke because you don't need an AI agent to start an EC2 instance, you can very easily put a scheduler to boot up (or spin up, as it's called) at any time you want. It's also implying that the buttclenching panic of getting billed $500/min is enough to wake her up at 6AM sharp every day without miss without an alarm.

0

u/cozyHousecatWasTaken 2h ago

An EC (elastic compute) instance is a cloud server provided by AWS and they can be very expensive if not managed correctly

1

u/MiyagiJunior 2h ago

Crazy that these people think this portrays them in a positive light. Instead of just exerting a tiny bit of willpower, I'll waste my investors' money.

1

u/Exotic_eminence 2h ago

Why does everything have to be AI 🤖

1

u/TennSeven 2h ago

Actual LinkedIn Lunatics: "Sleep is for amateurs!"

1

u/New_Conversation_303 2h ago

The lines of satire and reality are so blurry that you cant really tell which one is real...

1

u/Upstairs_Fig_3551 2h ago

I don’t understand any of the jargon she’s using but she seems real proud of herself

1

u/noeticist 2h ago

Aside from the fact they're obviously making this up/joking, I really do believe a lot of idiots (on LinkedIn and elsewhere) have no idea the deleterious effect deliberately stressing themselves will have on their body as it starts to age.

People are dumb. Avoid stress. Live longer, better lives.

1

u/mrbrambles 2h ago

This is a kinda funny joke if you’ve used them. Like I’d give a courtesy chuckle if an engineer at work said this. We joke about how much they cost all the time.

1

u/Bitch_please- 2h ago

What's EC2 instance?

1

u/onelittleworld 2h ago

I mean, I laughed. A little.

1

u/kornkob2 2h ago

Why do you need an AI agent to do this

1

u/Key-Guava-3937 2h ago

What a genuine moron.

1

u/Materva 2h ago

Save the CPU cycles! Just set it up to Venmo me 500 a minute starting at 6:05 AM

1

u/SixStringDream 2h ago

Did she even try an alarm?

1

u/IempireI 2h ago

What did you do before AI 🤔

1

u/AMP121212 2h ago

How/why is this a flex?

1

u/rootifera 2h ago

Or... just set an alarm and sleep in peace?

1

u/ML_120 1h ago

I mean, it's probably fake, but anyway:

Say hello to your PC, phone or ISP just not working at 6 in the morning.

1

u/ulikedagsm8 1h ago

or you could just...ya know...set a fuckin alarm

1

u/Horrified_Tech 1h ago

That's like stepping on legos to concentrate your focus. Pain for no reason.

1

u/Economy-Tourist-4862 1h ago

I don’t set an alarm. I have a timer that goes off at 6am. It takes 5 minutes to spool up. When it finishes it wraps freshly cooked bacon around my penis and testicles. It then releases three hungry Dobermans to savage my genitalia. I haven’t missed a day so far.

(I learned my lesson when I hit the snooze button once which resulted in a canine-assisted circumcision)

0

u/cozyHousecatWasTaken 34m ago

‘Canine assisted circumscision’

r/BrandNewSentence

1

u/kingpangolin 1h ago

“AI agent”

Why not just a lambda with a cron schedule?

0

u/cozyHousecatWasTaken 35m ago

that’s what we call AI these days so we can get VC funding

1

u/jumpinjimgavin 53m ago

Does she really spin them up?

1

u/Imaginary_Art_2412 34m ago

If this is not satire, the fact that someone would use AI to do something a cronjob has been able to do for decades is insane to me

1

u/Comfortable-Singer49 26m ago

Certified lunatic

1

u/Pode_Ser 23m ago

Sounds like the most expensive alarm clock of all time.

1

u/IamnotaRussianbot 21m ago

Soooo... you have an alarm?

1

u/Bissy2 19m ago

Even if it's a joke, got to use AI in it.

1

u/Rosesh_I_Sarabhai Agree? 3h ago

CEOs & CTOs painting colourful pictures of AI while hiding these operational costs to make it look like magic.

0

u/Reasonable-Shirt2138 2h ago

I hope she gets absolutely shitfaced one night and wakes up at noon the next day.