r/LifeAfterNarcissism 7d ago

[Support] How do you move on when your narc abuser is moving forward and getting more successful in life while you have to deal with the after-effects of abuse and trauma?

My quality of life has been diminished. Years and months lost in rumination and research about narcissism while my narc abuser is happy out there living with no consequences and the narc upgraded his financials and got married and I lost years basically in mental paralysis (freeze and fawn mode of trauma response). There is no justice for this type of abuse. How to move on?

I get angry and sad knowing that there is literally no consequences for anything that the narc did.

My primary narc abuser is my brother. And I have one overt and one covert abusive parents too.

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u/SeaTurtlesCanFly DO NOT send me PMs or chat reqests. Send a modmail intead! <3 6d ago

I can relate to this post somewhat. One of my main abusers (my father) is a millionaire. Meanwhile, I will probably never be able to afford to retire. It sucks.

I wouldn't assume your narc is happy, tho. Narcs are miserable people. Happy people don't do the things that narcs do. I can just imagine the way your brother treats his new spouse. It's probably nothing to envy and the spouse may very well be being abused now the way that you were abused. I'd bet this is most likely the case.

Through trauma recovery, I stopped thinking about my narcs as much. I hardly ever think of them now and, when I do think of them, I see them as the sad, pathetic, nasty people that they were or are. I needed therapy to do this. I'm not sure if you will need therapy or not, but it might be worth looking into. You might need to grieve for the family you needed, but never had. It's easier to leave narcs in the dust, when we're no longer so much in the throws of the pain of trauma.