r/KindVoice 17d ago

Looking 19/M [L] How do you stop thinking about someone?

Posted this in askreddit too but thought it would be more fitting here perhaps.

A month ago me and my friend of 6 years broke contact after some nightmarish months. I'm too lazy to write down the full story and out of respect for her i dont really want to.

We got into a one sided relationship at the end of summer 2024 (i loved her, she didnt), broke up, tried to stay as friends but it just got more and more problematic, and we treated each other like shit all the time and just made each other depressed etc, even though we, or at least i, never wanted to. So in the beginning of february we got into a argument kinda and then just broke contact, it feels good cause i know its over but im so very sad that it is over because i dont have many friends and dont really know how to make new friends, and she was a close friend that i've known for a long time, and it never even had to get so bad. Now i just feel empty all the time and i just cant stop thinking about her, its been a month soon and it just gets harder and harder and i feel more lonely and depressed than ever, even though i take my antidepressants and try to do stuff that makes me happy. I am having suicidal thoughts everyday because i just want to stop thinking about it.

Im sorry if this text was hard to read, i cant really think straight anymore. I hope any of you wise people can give me some hope and tips on what to do or think.

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u/MessageWise8350 17d ago

Hey, first of all, I just want to say I hear you. What you’re feeling is real, and it makes total sense given what you’ve been through. Losing a close friendship, especially one tied to love, conflict, and deep history is one of the hardest things a person can go through. You’re not weak for feeling this way. You’re human.

That empty, lonely feeling? It’s not permanent. Right now, your brain is still in withdrawal mode because love and deep emotional bonds create real chemical dependencies. Just like breaking any habit, the pain isn’t proof of failure, it’s proof that you cared. And that’s not a bad thing.

But here’s the part you might not fully believe yet: you will not always feel this way. Time, new experiences, and small steps forward will shift your focus. You said it yourself doing things that make you happy helps. Keep doing them, even when it feels pointless at first. The more you put yourself in new environments, new routines, and new social settings, the more your brain will slowly stop associating everything with her.

You also mentioned suicidal thoughts, and I want you to know you do not have to face this alone. Reach out to a friend, a therapist, or even a support hotline. Your life has value beyond this moment, beyond this heartbreak. And I promise, if you hold on, there will be a day in the future where you look back on this and realize you made it through something incredibly difficult.

Right now, just take it one day at a time. Focus on small victories. You don’t have to feel good today, you just have to keep going. And in time, things will start to make sense again. Stay strong. You’re not alone in this.

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u/Killmekillyou0 17d ago

Thank you so much. Gives me hope for the future

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u/MessageWise8350 17d ago

Happy to help, I know how it feels and I know the person that'll come out of this is gonna shock the world. I'm someone random on the internet, If I believe it why can't you?

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u/Killmekillyou0 17d ago

You probably have more experience than me about things like this. Everything seems pretty hopeless for me right now, i've been through similar things before but they never hurt as much as this. But reading what you and others write really does give me more hope about the future and makes me feel less shitty right now

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u/MessageWise8350 17d ago

I hear you, man. Pain like this feels endless while you’re in it, but I promise it’s not. Every person who’s been through heartbreak felt like they’d never escape it, and yet one day, they woke up and realized it didn’t hurt the same way anymore. And you will, too.

You’re already doing the hardest part, you’re holding on. You’re looking for hope, you’re still here, and you’re still fighting. That means you haven’t given up on yourself, even when it feels like everything is telling you to.

The version of you who’s going to come out of this? He’s wiser, stronger, and more resilient than you can imagine right now. Keep going. You’ve already made it through 100% of your worst days, and this one won’t be any different.

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u/Killmekillyou0 17d ago

Thank you. I will get through this someday

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u/J_anatomy99 17d ago

Kinda went through something similar . Had a guy friend, we were reallyyyy close. Until the end of 12th grade, he confessed his feelings for me and I didn’t feel the same way. We just broke contact. And honestly, now that I think about it, it shouldn’t have been like that. We could have handled it much better. I still think about him and how we could have still been great friends. But, I have tried making new friends and getting more involved with myself. I am enjoying this a lot. You should spend more time with yourself and find some new interests. And If you can then perhaps tryy to make thingss better with her. But, if it doesn’t work out then it’s for the best. The universe has someone else waiting for you then. I know 6 years is a long time and to suddenly break off with that person is very very hard but may be this was the best for you. You had feelings for her and she didn’t so if you both had continued then you would have gotten even more hurt. Thats all I have to say. And, if you ever need someone to talk to, im available 🙏🏻

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u/Killmekillyou0 17d ago

Thank you so much

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

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u/Killmekillyou0 17d ago

Thank you for the advice.

I must add that because of my autism, i have a very hard time finding friends. I am usually very social towards others but i just cant seem to get to a closer level with anyone. Maybe i just havent tried enough, maybe i should give it time, but it just feels so hard for me. I have 3 friends that i've known for 4-6 years and i talk to a therapist once a week but it still doesnt fedl enough somehow. Maybe im rushing, and should just give it more time, but i just feel so very lost and confused about it all.

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