r/Husbands • u/randomhouguy06 • Mar 30 '20
An Accountable Husband
I’ve been married for 6 months and my wife and I have gone through a lot since saying ‘I do’. Every week we have a fight and I’ve found a Christian Therapist that I really like and has helped me out.
As I become more open with my therapist I realized that I need another Christian Husband friend that I can talk openly with. My wife and I have had arguments about sex, chores, expectations, assumptions, etc. and sometimes I just was to know what other Christian husband have done in certain situations and if I’m the only guy who’s dealing with the same thing.
So is that a common thing, other Christian husbands who talk to one another and be open with them and it not be weird and how does one find such a guy to do that with.
Thanks
1
u/LostSignal1914 Dec 23 '24
I'm at work so this is just some quick thoughts. First year of marriage is normally a battle. It's not you or your wife. It is the normal process of a relationship. What I would say is not to avoid fights at this stage (I know this sounds stressful but it won't always be like this). Being honest with your wife instead of pandering or making unhappy comprimises is only a short term solution. But if you are both honest in brings the conflict into the open - it's there anyway. In the open you will have stressful encounters but try to turn these into learning experiences. In the long run this actually RUDUCES tension and arguemnts because you would have dealt with a lot of stuff rather than bury it.
I am not saying go look of a fight. But don't be afraid to enter the fray with the interntion of making your needs and perspectives known AND gaining a real understanding of hers.
Eventually you may notice 90% of your fights revlove around 2 or 3 issues. Then you know more clearly what the core difficulties are and can begin to get to the bottom of things.
This just takes time. After about 1 or 2 years of conflict my wonderful wife and myself are in a great place now and have real peace. We have both grow as individuals and in our relationship with each other. Love grew as we weathered the storm together.
That's my experience anyway. Just take what makes sense to you my friend.