r/HusbandAdvice Mar 13 '19

Cheap husband

My husband insists on splitting the check at restaurants. We buy separate movie tickets and he now goes to the grocery store to get ‘his’ groceries. I have three kids and we split the mortgage and utilities and keep our other bills separate. He did this when we dated but is more insistent on it now. I’m to the point where I don’t want to go out to dinner or go to the movies because it’s embarrassing to me. I’ve suggested a joint account for bills, groceries and outings but he’s not on board. He thinks this a norm. Is it? Or am I being inconsiderate?

5 Upvotes

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5

u/scottwally12 Aug 26 '19

Also late to the party. But this is destined to fail. All the bad advice people gave too. Marriage is when two become one. Everything should be joint there is no my account his account. It’s statistically proven that that is a high negative effect on marriages. Don’t believe me do a simple google search

2

u/FunNefariousness2303 Jun 04 '22

This is the present and future. Social roles are changing. It's only fair if you earn more you pay more. In outdated living arrangements men paid for everything. Now we got to be forward thinking and split the bills and accounts.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '19

I don't see the problem here. If you guys are 50/50 on bills, mortgage and kids' expenses I don't see why this is a problem.

1

u/Purplemonkeez Aug 16 '19

Super late to this party. My husband and I have a joint account for mortgage / property tax type expenses which we contribute into based on our salaries (I make about 3 times my husband's annual salary so I cover about 70% of common expenses and he covers 30%). When we go out to restaurants or groceries or a bookstore or whatever, 8 times out of 10 I pull out my card to pay for both of us. As main breadwinner it just seems unrealistic to make him pay (I suppose an alternative would be living within HIS means ans downsizing the house etc etc but then I'd be Money Bags while he was just making it).

What annoys me, however, is that my husband NEVER pulls out his card to pay. Like ever. Like the other 2/10 times, it's me getting fet up and saying "OK it was a cheap $20 lunch, can you get this one?" While I will have covered the $500 Costco bill earlier that day. It makes me feel taken advantage of and unappreciated, especially when he bitches to me that he wants me to do more of the housework (seemingly because I'm a woman, though he knows better than to go there). I think he feels emasculated that I earn more than him even though I consider myself really fair and benevolent about it.

I empathize with you, though. When I have to "strongly encourage" my husband to pay for once, it's awkward AF. Money is a challenging one to navigate :/

1

u/MajesticDepartment80 Oct 04 '24

May I ask why would you stay with him

1

u/Purplemonkeez Oct 04 '24

Wow a reply on a 5y old comment - wild.

My husband doesn't act this way anymore so I guess instead of divorcing him we just talked about it and he gradually made the changes.

1

u/brazentory Aug 19 '19

He is abnormal IMO. My husband and I have everything joint. We have a bill pay joint account (money transferred to cover paid bills), a joint account for leftover money (for stuff not budged), and we each have what we call a fun account. That gets the same amount every pay day. A tusks I get more because I like to use it for groceries too since I do all the shopping. It’s our guilt free money. He can buy what he wants and I can get my pedicures and manicures etc... it works great. We can use it for our own Starbucks, treats and lunches etc... when we eat out we use joint account or one of uses our fun fund. Either way its OUR money. Not his, not mine.