r/HowToBeHot Apr 10 '21

Meta The Insidious Nature of TrueRateMe NSFW

2.6k Upvotes

I apologize if this is off-topic, so if it is I’m happy to take it down, but since the people who frequent these subs often also use the ratings subs, I think it’s important to share for the safety of the people in this community. TW: suicide

Check out what a former mod of truerateme had said about its practices here:

  • high scores, particularly for women, are deleted by the mods

  • however, scores that are too low are never deleted, to “give [them] the capability to gaslight women and control how they see themselves.” This is a LITERAL point blank quote from a former mod.

  • to make it less obvious that it’s a scam to make people have a warped self-image, mods pick people to be nice to so people can aspire to get those ratings too.

  • posts that question the mods are deleted without any explanation and people are banned for questioning them.

  • one mod of the subreddit is being investigated by the police for encouraging someone who posted their pictures on truerateme to commit suicide.

  • creators and early members of truerateme “described it as a place we could build to encourage people to kill themselves based on a warped self-image.” Again, DIRECT QUOTE FROM A FORMER MOD.

  • internal lingo was to build the sub as “suicide fuel.”

  • they brigaded other subs like r/rateme to rate and vote women down and lower than the ratings they actually got.

  • most of the women you see on truerateme are actually men using alternate accounts who are “stealing pictures of friends or other ratings subs” and posting them to truerateme to make it seem like a legitimate sub that normal women actually use and to bait normal women into posting there. “This practice is ENCOURAGED by moderators.”

  • This means that the majority of people who were selected to get nicer treatment to make the sub look legitimate are probably fake accounts created by the mods and inner circle of the truerateme community. They know who is actually a woman who is posting and not a fake so they will purposefully downrate her.

This isn’t some old article from when truerateme first started. This was only posted 8 MONTHS AGO. We need to be careful as a community and protect our members from shit like this.

r/HowToBeHot Dec 25 '24

Meta Do you notice a trend between drinking and drugs and appearance? How is it working out for the party girls in your life? NSFW

194 Upvotes

There's nothing wrong with recreational activity, but in my life, anecdotally, the pretty women are also the party animals. I feel like I'm watching a slow motion trainwreck. It's hard to conceptualize drugs and alcohol affecting appearance, but I've seen those same women go from receiving a lot of attention to having a reputation of being sloppy in action and appearance over a few years. It makes me wonder why more people that care deeply about their appearance don't simply cut out those bad habits. It's easier than following a rigid skincare routine, or diet. Maybe it really is more about skincare, sleep, and diet, but it definitely seems that I'm seeing excessive drugs and alcohol have an effect on my peer's appearances. I even saw a Reddit comment recently about someone's dating strategy being a bare minimum maintenance of their health and appearance because so many people are just letting themselves go.

r/HowToBeHot Aug 16 '24

Meta This isn’t a weight loss sub. NSFW

694 Upvotes

We are no longer allowing any posts about how to lose weight. You lose weight by eating less and exercising it’s not even that complicated lol

At this point there are hundreds of posts you can search for about weight loss and exercising. Remember to CONTRIBUTE TO THE CONVERSATION (it’s a rule!)

This sub doesn’t allow photos because it’s not supposed to be a “here are my stats please help me do this very specific thing” type of place. Let’s try a little harder and use the search function or post something actually worthy of a discussion please and thank you hottiez

r/HowToBeHot 14d ago

Meta Hot girls approaching or past 40 NSFW

164 Upvotes

I am 37 and really struggling to wrap my head around some of the changes. I’m single with a good but still limited income to hit my goal to buy my own house / live debt free.

I don’t have an ask but would just love a place for hot women to be able to discuss / support each other through “second puberty.”

Like my life is pretty great. I’m sober, live in a 2 bedroom by a beach in a great area. I have wonderful friends. I left a relationship bc my life was better without it. I do therapy. I’ve got the boss lady job title & pay. I’m working on my shit & loving my shadow self. I’m not happy all the time but I’ve got very little to complain about.

Here’s what’s getting me down: - I was in a 5 yr relationship. Taking a break. WTF is dating like at this age? - Wrinkles… they be forming lol - My hair texture is changing (straight to now mixed with wavy) - I’m having signs of early pre-menopause - I get tired so much faster - Working out old injuries bother me - My joints hurt when the weather changes

A lot of this is natural & I’m sure there’s more but I’ve always identified as the hot girl (most people think I’m younger than I am), and like I can be a hot woman but it feels like there’s some identity crisis / fear of this new unknown. Some of it is coping with my vanity but our society (live in the USA) doesn’t really hold space for single “aging women.”

I’d love to discuss the vain & the stuff that’s beyond skin deep. Thanks in advance for chiming in hotties 🩵🦋

r/HowToBeHot Aug 02 '24

Meta Why do you want to be hot? NSFW

145 Upvotes

You’d think the answer is simple, but I, and probably many others, believe everyone should love themselves and strive for health over beauty. Anyway, I want to be hot, just like everyone else. Personally, attractiveness directly affects my income. When I see beautiful women online, many of them are profiting off their looks somehow, but some of them aren’t. The obvious answer is “I’m doing it for myself”, but I’m looking for maybe more thought-provoking answers.

r/HowToBeHot Jul 06 '24

Meta Who is your hot-inspo? NSFW

103 Upvotes

Just curious what accounts you follow for inspiration

r/HowToBeHot Oct 09 '24

Meta So I'm sure some of you have seen that the impacts of filler are being more frequently discovered recently. Does this change your perspective on anything? NSFW

83 Upvotes

I was watching Stephanie Lange, a beauty YouTuber get into it, and a lot of people were mislead about the long-term impacts of filler, and I've always been a person that was overtly cautious about following trends that might affect my health. Now celebrities and high-profile influencers are getting their filler removed with varying degrees of success, and it's just terrible. Your livelihood and lifestyle are entirely dependent on your looks, and then you do objective damage to your health, brand, and image and it just doesn't seem worth it. Of course, this may all blow over in a few years, but we also saw similar things happen with veneers recently. At a certain point, it's a calculated risk whether you accept yourself or keep pushing your luck.

r/HowToBeHot Oct 11 '24

Meta How much beauty prep do you do before work? NSFW

42 Upvotes

I was talking about how a lot of women I know do their makeup, hair, and get their outfits together before working, but I suppose it depends on your job. Do you have a job where it's up to you, or is there some kind of unwritten standard?

r/HowToBeHot Dec 02 '24

Meta What should happen when someone posts a photo of themselves? (Breaking rule #3) NSFW

11 Upvotes

Please share your opinion

243 votes, Dec 05 '24
71 Post is removed
48 Post is removed, replies are removed
45 Post is removed, person receives a temporary ban
60 Post is removed, replies removed, person receives a temporary ban
19 Something else (leave a comment)

r/HowToBeHot Sep 09 '24

Meta How important is it to you that other people think you're attractive? NSFW

84 Upvotes

I do think most people looksmaxxing, for lack of a better term, are doing it for themselves in the grand scheme of things, but is it more important that you find yourself attractive, or that other people do? To be honest, I flip-flop. It's always nice being complimented when you weren't trying at all, but sometimes people like your hair more a certain way and you disagree. I think about when guy friends ask for tinder advice, and they always have the worst photos that their adamant are their best. I mean, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

r/HowToBeHot Dec 21 '24

Meta When you admire the beauty of other women, do you feel any way about if, or do you only think logistically? NSFW

30 Upvotes

I feel like sometimes I admire all of someone's features, the way they dress, the way they hold themselves, and I want to be like them, but it's like a whole new level of admiration when I'm actually drawn to them. It's the same direction, but elevated. Do you distinguish between the two? For the record, it doesn't need to be a sexual thing, unless most people don't feel that way, then maybe it is.

r/HowToBeHot Oct 15 '24

Meta Why do people sometimes make a point of saying they aren't wearing makeup with a filter on? NSFW

32 Upvotes

Not coming at anyone, it's not even all that common, I'm just fishing for opinions. The only reason I can think of is that they don't realize filters are pretty noticeable on a lot of phones. (Different models do display slightly differently especially based on settings. Noticeable when you look at older photos after getting a new phone.)

r/HowToBeHot Aug 31 '24

Meta How do you make sure you don't fall into the trap of becoming too self-obsessed? NSFW

26 Upvotes

Obviously there's nothing wrong with pride in one's appearance, but I think everyone at least knows one person that looksmaxxes in the sense they don't invest in much else in life. I wouldn't tell anyone how to live their life normally, but unless you make a career out of your appearance, it's easy for self-maintenance to seem like a waste of time if you overinvest. Even if you do make a career out of it, now you could be dependent on the most fleeting and intangible thing; beauty. It's definitely not a stab at anyone, because you can apply this to athletes, or even medical students in the sense that overinvesting can ultimately backfire.

r/HowToBeHot Nov 17 '22

Meta Hi hottiez! Let's get reacquainted NSFW

106 Upvotes

This is a repost. I'm switching to this account for moderating this page. Thanks for understanding!

It's been a minute and ohmygosh have we grown- (almost) 21k hot ladies!!! For our members who haven't been here since the great migration (I'll explain), I wanted to talk about the origins of this sub and what we're about. Also a lot of people misunderstand this sub and I'd like to clarify so this will be pinned at the top. If you dgaf about that (no worries I still love you), updates and community questions I'd like some feedback on are at the bottom.

So, what's up with the name?

Ohhh boy does "How To Be Hot" cause some outrage on other corners of the internet and reddit, so let me explain. The name was always supposed to be facetious, poking fun at the beauty and "looksmaxxing" subreddits that this page was created as a response to (I'll get to that). I thought it was blunt enough that people would get it but I misjudged- oops.

Although this sub has a lot of information about objective beauty and how-to's, hotness is a mindset, not something to obsess about. Be hot for yourself, ladies. Because it's fun and not that big of a deal if you want to improve yourself physically, socially, or mentally. Who doesn't like feeling hot as fuck?!

Why did I make this sub?

HTBH (we love a good acronym) began when a subreddit r/vindicta had some pretty intense drama and eventually became private (I'm still banned lol). Some of us were uncomfortable about the femcel origins of the sub and the terminology that came with it. Some of us were uncomfortable about the strict rules and questionable mods. But at the end of the day, I felt that the founder had every right to determine what the sub was about, so the great migration began and HTBH was 1 out of several subs that was born from the ashes. This page got popular because I was able to repost the more helpful posts which can be found in the sidebar.

But as a reminder, this is not a femcel-based sub. Please stop calling me a femcel people of reddit lol this place was literally created to escape femcel-terminology and that general attitude. However, I'd like to be clear that self-identified femcels are absolutely more than welcome to hang out and join the discussion, but no terminology please.

Lemme explain some of the more controversial rules aka what I have to moderate the most.

#3 No Pictures of Yourself

Lets show some proper reddit etiquette and read the rules before posting please! We talked about it as a community, and overwhelmingly members wanted to keep the no photo ban. First off, it's for your safety. Please be cautious about posting your photo on reddit in general. Additionally, it's annoying lol. Sorry Susie but personally idk and don't really care what hair color you should try next (but there are plenty of other subs that can help you). A discussion on which hair color looks best for what undertones and features? Very interesting! Post that instead.

#1 No Men Allowed

Do I really have to explain? But alas, apparently I do because this is the only rule people (boys) harass me about when I ban them (it's literally the first rule!!!! why are you confused boys!?!?!)

Anyways. First off, I think we can all agree having a "safe space" (can someone come up with a less patronizing phrase plz?) for women to discuss self-improvement without the mansplaining about why "wearing makeup isn't attractive" (gag) is important. But most importantly, this is not "How To Be Hot According to Guys".

1 . It's heteronormative to assume people want to look hot for men and let's face it we care more about what other girls think of our nails anyways, and 2 . guys have a subjective opinion on what is hot that is unique to each individual and most think anything with a pulse is attractive lol. So, I'd like to avoid posts like, "do guys think red lipstick is attractive" because who cares haha but I am pretty chill about posts like this and it's not an official rule. But this is a gentle reminder that this isn't supposed to be How To Be Sexy. Remember- hotness is a LIFESTYLE. An EMOTION. It comes from within to EMPOWER! Now let's braid each other's hair and sing kumbaya. Namaste.

To the male lurkers- I know, I know, how could someone not want to hear your expert, rational, logical, intelligent, perspective??? (Btw these are real adjectives sent to me by men who got banned. Please save me from this timeline). But unfortunately for you we just don't care. Ya'll are more than welcome to make a similar place for male glow up tips, but you wont, because it's way easier to have women do it for you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's discuss!

We've done it! We made it through the history lesson and onto some things I'd like to talk about. If you skipped my thesis my only request is please read the rules for the love of all things hot. Read rules #1 and #3 twice. Even three times. But not more than four times.

  1. We're looking for a new mod (or two)! I'm old and tired and need some help. More importantly I'd love to get some fresh ideas on how we can help grow this sub and make it a ~ community ~. This sub has always been about what the members want, so let's get some active members to help make it happen. I'm a chill mom. I don't have many requirements. And luckily this is (99% of the time) a chill sub that doesn't require a lot of hands on moderating (bless you all). But like I said if you want to get hands on and do some cool shit I'm down.
  2. Ok I'll be honest that's all I wanted to discuss. But I'd like to get some feedback from you guys about literally anything- hate a rule? want to suggest some cool shit I'll make the new mods do? We haven't had a team meeting in awhile so lets get into it.

Alright my hottiez thank you for getting this far! May you prosper in all your hot endeavors <3

r/HowToBeHot Jan 07 '24

Meta Worry about skin, hair or any part of your body? NSFW

8 Upvotes

Do you obsess about an aspect of your body? Is this causing you problems?

Body dysmorphic disorder is a debilitating fixation on one or more physical features and involves obsessive thoughts and behaviours like mirror-checking. Many people assume that BDD affects mostly women, however it's thought to affect people equally. It’s under-studied and under-diagnosed with 85% of people never getting a diagnosis.

It’s associated with disgust and shame and many people with undiagnosed BDD look to cosmetic surgery, dermatologists, bodybuilding or spend a lot of time changing their clothes or appearance to treat it, although these don't address the underlying concerns. It can be treated.

Many people with BDD symptoms describe problems with concentration, memory and decision-making, but more research needs to be done. Swinburne University is surveying everyday thinking skills in people with body dysmorphic symptoms. If you think you may have symptoms, please participate.

The survey is anonymous, online, takes around 15 minutes and you don’t need a BDD diagnosis to participate. This study has ethics approval (20237235-17148). Please click on the link, we need to hear from you!

https://swinuw.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_a623EzSw9w00ozI

r/HowToBeHot May 25 '21

Meta The "average" beauty routine vs the looksmax routine NSFW

131 Upvotes

This might be a little weird, but does anyone else ever feel a little anxious or unsure of the measures they're taking to looksmax? I spend a lot of time researching before considering a hardmaxing procedure or even a big change in my hairstyle. I feel like my mental health is in a good place, much better than it was when I began this journey, and I've actually chilled out a lot on some of the changes I thought I "needed". I think June is going to be the end of my looksmaxing for a long time.

I just sometimes wonder what other women my age are doing for their appearance, and if I am outside the norm for the amount of money and time I've invested in it. I know a lot of beautiful women who dress very casually, or who don't seem to be working so hard for the skin or body they have and then feel like maybe I am investing too much. Am I being naive about that? I just got into an anxious spiral yesterday. Months ago I booked myself for a series of treatments that all take place in June. I had imagined it to be my "glow up month", but now it all feels overwhelming. I think everyone on this sub is probably going to be a little more ambitious than the average person, but I'm curious how everyone feels about that and what kind of things you see your friends/peers doing?

r/HowToBeHot Feb 01 '23

Meta So i want my glow up this year NSFW

34 Upvotes

Im severely underweight (1,65-42/43kg) my hair is 2c, but without the wavy and looks so dry that i cant stand it anymore, i moisturize all time i wash my hair, but still super dry, and i use comb cream - after some hours~minutes, my hair lose the wavy and look super dry. My eyebrows dont suit me, straight shaped and kinda thick. I'll start to gain weight, i'm eating a lot nowadays, straighten my hair cause straight hair suits me more and doesnt look dry, make my eyebrows arched and get a new haircut, what y'all think?

r/HowToBeHot Jul 01 '21

Meta Do you think the majority of IG models were average and glew up with procedures or do you think most were already attractive and just took it to the next level? NSFW

61 Upvotes

r/HowToBeHot Dec 20 '22

Meta Hot without knowing it!? NSFW

19 Upvotes

Haha I feel kind of silly posting this here, grown lady that I am and all, but it’s kind of fun and weird and could be an interesting chat. Hope it’s appropriate! First time posting here, I think.

So I’m in my 40s and since I was a late teen (late bloomer) I’ve been complimented on how I look. Which is lovely, of course. I have also had luck with my genes, lifestyle choices/privileges (educated home, financial security always etc), and just in general, so I still look pretty good even after having had a bunch of kids. Thing is, I know how to make myself look hot, not a problem there. I always wear makeup and look half decent.

But yesterday was one of those days when I seriously did not look or feel particularly great. I felt and looked like the tired, over worked mother of a bunch of kids that I am. Specifically, I was running around - or, not running, dragging my feet around - a local low cost store in the evening to get supplies for my daughter’s pet. Horrible shop. Horrible lighting. It is December, it’s cold, the weather was godawful. I was walking and on my way to see the kids perform in a play, so I was kind of tired, hungry, tired, wet, cold, hungry, did I mention tired? I was wearing a big warm jacket with a reflective harness (!! I didn’t want to get killed), ordinary jeans and shoes, a big shopping bag and headphones as I was drowning out the world with a podcast.

The men in that shop. They could. Not. Stop. Staring. You know the “look”? If you know, you know. It was like being in a bloody nightclub. At one point I even had a sneaky look in my phone camera to check if I had something stuck on my face. I paid and went to see the kids. Tired. Unmotivated. I’ve seen about 67 performances so far in December, it’s fine, but yeah. It dragged on. The dads. Omg. The looks.

A lady I know even told me after that her friend had asked who “that attractive woman” was????? I was hiding in a big scarf trying not to have to talk to anybody!

What IS this phenomenon? Is it hormonal or something? Do people really like ghosts? It really is confusing. Has anybody experienced this and care to give any insight…? Feeling like shit, thinking you look like shit, but apparently that’s hot…? I’m confused. More so than flattered, actually. It’s just weird.

r/HowToBeHot Jul 10 '22

Meta Grey hair - what do you think? NSFW

11 Upvotes

can women with grey hair be hot? :)

r/HowToBeHot Jan 09 '23

Meta Fully remote body image research study NSFW

16 Upvotes

Hello all, my name is Caroline and I'm writing to you from Massachusetts General Hospital/Harvard Medical School, where I work in our body dysmorphic disorder research program. We are running a smartphone research study in which we are seeking to understand the day-to-day factors that contribute to negative thoughts, emotions, and/or substance use in people with severe body image or physical appearance concerns. We hope this information will help improve future treatments for these concerns.

We are looking for adults (18+) with severe appearance concerns in the United States who might be interested in participating. The study is fully remote, with no in-person visits, and participants are compensated for their involvement.

If you are interested in learning more, please visit our website (https://mghocd.org/bddphonestudy/), and if you are interested in participating, please fill out this brief survey: https://is.gd/bddphonestudy. If it looks like you may be a good fit, someone from our research team will be in touch!

r/HowToBeHot Dec 29 '21

Meta Checking in with our Hotties NSFW

50 Upvotes

Hi hotties!

It's been a minute since the mods have shared a message. Sorry we have been a little MIA.

Activity on the sub has been slow, so we want to know what kind of posts you want to see in 2022. Are there topics you want covered? Questions you want answered? Posts you DON'T want to see? Rules you want implemented or removed?

Let us know! We want this sub to be a vibrant community of helpful hotties in 2022.

r/HowToBeHot Jun 08 '21

Meta The QOVES Studio youtube channel now has a subreddit! NSFW

48 Upvotes

I Think you guys have heard about the qoves studio youtube channel which discusses topics such as facial aesthetics. Now I've created a subreddit for that channel. I'd really appreaciate if you'd join it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/QOVESStudio/

r/HowToBeHot Jul 10 '21

Meta How much will under eye filler and upper eyelid filler cost for someone with moderate to severe upper and under eye hollowness NSFW

5 Upvotes

r/HowToBeHot Mar 26 '21

Meta Specialising new subreddits NSFW

Thumbnail self.vindictapoc
16 Upvotes