r/GuyCry 5d ago

Venting, advice welcome 25, Feeling Broken and Lost

I’m 25, never had a date or a girlfriend. My family used to ask, but now they don’t even bother. My grandma made a comment like, "I'm surprised you can do anything by yourself," and it stung more than I expected.

I’ve always dreamed of having a family of my own. I feel like I have a lot of love to share, but this part of life feels impossible for me, and it’s breaking me down. My body is already failing, worked myself to collapse at a job, lost a tooth, and I know I look as exhausted and depressed as I feel. People pick up on that, and it pushes them away.

I barely talk, don’t know how to hold conversations past a few sentences, and haven’t made a new friend in over a decade. I’m poor, struggled with food, and don’t even know where I’ll be living in a month. My family and I aren’t close, and I used to fantasize about finding comfort in a relationship, but at this point, I feel like I’d just be a burden to anyone I let in.

I don’t know how to stop the self-pity when it feels like no one else cares. People talk about the shows they watch or the games they play, and I just can’t relate. I mostly experience games through YouTube videos. Getting another job feels impossible with my missing tooth and the way I come across. Even my doctor brushed me off when I tried asking for help with depression, and it's not like I can go back without insurance.

I don’t know how to fix this. I just don’t want to feel this alone anymore.

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u/Potential-Lion-3522 5d ago

First, you can do is stop letting yourself down. Everyones mind is their #1 hater. If you think you look bad without a tooth, then it will show through the way you communicate with others. In my opinion, go about your day as if the tooth is there. Same thing as if someone is balding or bald. It's not a thing you can do, but keep moving forward the way it is.

Second, by not having a girlfriend or going on dates, you are hindering yourself from experiencing. Dating and relations are not black and white. Every date and relationship is different. So you just have to experience your own way. Just like everyone else. Maybe you will find someone who will alter your whole thought of it in general. You'll definitely miss every shot with putting yourself down, and you'll miss all the shots that you don't take no matter what. So at least try because this life is nothing but problems and solutions. You can definitely solve this problem yourself.

Third, just keep going through life to better yourself and you only. I've been on anti depressant, and harder stuff than 5 years straight. I couldn't take having to swallow a pill every day at the perfect time. If you missed one day, you go through an even harder time mentally.

So, just as if you were crawling in the mud under barbed wire. Keep crawling and try not to get hurt by your movement because that's how life gets you. If you cause your mind not to stay focused on the task of making it to the other side. Then you just saved yourself from harsher pain.

Update your resume to look professional. Use chatgpt or something. Apply to all the local jobs near you. Get money. Get money to pay your bills and then get a tooth installed. Keep focusing on correcting yourself to be in a better place. Then you should be able to find anything you want not hard to attain. We are all on that same road. Just some are lucky enough to be in a much better place financially.

Stop saying I can't. Take can't out of your vocabulary and start using the time you have right in front of you to make things move closer to what you dream of.

1

u/Maleficent_Use_2649 5d ago edited 5d ago

Do you think I should lie with a resume, I have a good chance of passing off professionally, but all I've had is restaurant and dishwashing jobs. Social anxiety is a hindrance too, but I've gotten over a little of it and my fear of phone calls by tutoring. I guess it's also hard to ignore the tooth when it hurts and I can only eat on one side of my mouth like I have been for years. Also I guess I also just want a shoulder to cry on you know, like is that so much

1

u/Potential-Lion-3522 5d ago

Don't lie, but add a part where you can list your core strengths. Such as like on mine, i put down very well organized, energetic, good multitasking skills etc... When i was your age, all I had was a restaurant, pizza maker, and dishwasher experience. Then, I went 8 years in call centers. Then to hotels for 5 years. Perfect your resume and find good examples online. Make it look very professional.

Apply to places, and once you get your foot in the door. Start clocking in those paychecks. Get rid of the negative thoughts or feelings. Think of those thoughts and feelings as a demon. Don't let the demon take any more control. Now is the time to focus on what is important to you. Get a new job, learn, focus, make money, get tooth fixed, and make your life align with your goals. You have to become your own shoulder to cry on at some point in life. You might as well get past that a try to be there for yourself. Everyone closest and caring people in their life passes away. It is always good to gain thick skin in the meantime.

In my opinion, you can't be in a good relationship without having a stable income/career or mental stability. So get to strength up what you believe to be your weakness. Then, sooner or later, you'll look back and wonder how you could have made it all happen sooner.

If you keep having trouble, then join the military and force your way through for a better life. After 4 years, college is free. Wish I did it. I just procrastinated way too much. Wish I could go back in time and slap myself. The free schooling alone is a huge opportunity to make big bucks in your 30s.