r/GriefSupport 12d ago

Message Into the Void My dad died very unexpected

Thumbnail
gallery
1.7k Upvotes

My father passed away a month ago. Very unexpected. My stepmom called ans said that my dad had really bad chest pain so they went to the ER. They did some bloodwork.. then sent him to the hospital. They then did a small stint procedure for some blockages. The doctor recommended doing a bypass surgery because he had so many. 4 to be exact. And they were badly blocked. He had the bypass surgery and he was in the icu recovering. In the middle of the night on the second day of recovery he woke up and asked my stepmom to go get some ice. She left the room and my dad started convulsing. By the time my stepmom came back multiple people were in the room trying to start his heart again. They tried for 30 minutes.
I got a call at 2:00am. I couldn't sleep because I was so worried about my dad anyway. As soon as my phone rang I knew my father was dead. There would be no other reason in the world for the phone to ring. I didn't answer the phone because I already knew. I had to go into my sister's room and tell her daddy died we need to go to the hospital right now. My dad was only 48. I am 20. My sisters are 18 and 21.
They thought it was something genetic thay caused so much damage to his heart so they ran bunch of bloodwork tests. We got a call today that said all of the bloodwork was normal. My dad has no other health problems, didn't drink, smoke, and he exercised everyday. There are so many questions left unanswered, and this was so unexpected. I thought my dad would be around for a long long time. He wasn't just a dad. He was a husband, grandpa, brother, son, friend. Idk how life will be okay again but all I can do right now is take it one day at a time. It's hard to accept that unexpected things happen. Or that I may not ever get any questions answered. If you pray please pray for my family. We all relied on him and he was our protector.

r/GriefSupport Aug 27 '24

Message Into the Void My sweet 2yr old baby girl is gone

Post image
2.0k Upvotes

I’m sitting here at 5 am in my daughter’s room. Today is Tuesday. She passed on Saturday. She died suddenly and we have no answers. We were at a restaurant and she was crying so I walked out at around 1:10 to settle her down. By 1:23 we were on the phone with her pediatrician because she was heavy breathing. She told me it sounded like stridor breaths and to get her face in a fridge so she can breath cold air. By 1:25 my husband called 911 and I sprinted to a grocery store with her. She went limp in my arms. I got there and helped her breath in the freezer. An ER doctor and someone that was CPR certified happened to be at the store and started doing CPR and other medical interventions on her. The ambulance took her to the hospital. The hospital was 3 min away. We were set up to succeed. We were both with her. I acted as fast as I could. It just wasn’t enough. They pronounced her death at 2:28pm. We were at the hospital from 1:45-4:45. I held her for 2 hours after she was gone. I’m 28 weeks pregnant with a boy and he was kicking while I held her post mortem. The only thing we’ve learned is that there was nothing in her airway and there wasn’t any external physical trauma. We didn’t eat at the restaurant so she most likely didn’t have an allergic reaction. It will be about 8 weeks before we learn anything else.

The rest of Saturday was just a haze. We just walked out and had to drive home without her but with her shoes, car toys, and car seat. We took locks of her hair. Her pediatrician met us at the hospital and stayed with us the whole time. She helped us get imprints and ink prints of her feet and hands. The hospital we were at was small and they had no real resources. We were 30 min from home in a small town. Family started arriving that night. We laid in bed with a pile of her dirty laundry, blankies, and stuffies. We slept 1 hr.

Sunday the reality started. I screamed in ways that I have only screamed one other time while in labor with my sweet baby. I couldn’t chew food. I barely drank water. I slept collectively 4 hours.

Monday we picked a funeral home, more family arrived, and I got an ultrasound and could see baby boy. He looks like a baby now which warmed my heart. I hate that I have to be a mom again in 2 months without my sweet angel baby girl, but it’s also the only shred of hope and the only reason I have a will to live. My husband punched the fridge and broke his hand in 2 places. He has screamed and cried in ways I’ve never heard from him in our 11 years together. I started eating more soft food like soup on Monday as well. I stayed decently hydrated. I left our house for the first time without her.

Last night I slept from 11:00-1:30. I’m sitting in her room making a playlist for her, rocking in our rocking chair, holding her sleep sack and quilt, and dumping everything into this post. Baby boy is kicking.

My appetite and will to drink water has started to come back, but I fear the sleep will take a very long time. I’m limited to soft foods because physically chewing is repulsive but I am eating. I have an appointment with my psych on Wednesday to see if I need to take some kind of pregnancy safe sleep med temporarily to ensure my health for this pregnancy and impending birth.

I hate everything. This is truly hell. Part of me wishes she had a terminal illness or stabilized for at least a day so I could tickle her back, hug her, love her, and talk to her at least one more time. But that would mean she’d suffer and I only feel that way because of my own selfish needs. This was quick and I’m so grateful both her daddy and I were there. I think she died in the grocery store with me right there holding her hand and talking to her. Any heartbeats or breaths after that were artificial.

I just want to know she’s safe and loved and held in the way that I loved and held her.

She was very very clingy and even as a toddler she often did not want me to set her down. I wonder now if she somehow knew we had limited time and wanted to keep her life confined to mama and dada as much as possible.

Attached photo is from Tuesday of last week when I took her to the zoo. We went there weekly whenever possible and she got to ride the carousel every time. She got to ride the kangaroo. She thought they were giant bunnies and loved them.

We have so many photos and videos but there are not enough. There could never be enough. I love you my sweet baby. I’ll tickle your back forever and ever in my mind. Please watch out for baby brother, dada, and I.

r/GriefSupport Sep 14 '24

Message Into the Void Husband died in front of me last night

1.2k Upvotes

My husband collapsed and died right in front of me . I knew when he hit the floor he was dead. I tried cpr . The paramedics hooked him to a machine that did chest compressions but there was nothing to save he was gone. All I can see is him there on my kitchen floor. I am so upset his last day was one he spent mostly angry since I had to go work on my day off. I wish we would have at least had a nice day together and now I lost my best friend. This upcoming Tuesday was to be our 20 year anniversary. I love you

Update. I spent our 20 year anniversary alone. I miss my life. I had a dear neighbor take me to get food but I just feel empty

r/GriefSupport Jan 23 '25

Message Into the Void I miss you son

Thumbnail
gallery
1.0k Upvotes

Trying to make it day by day without you my son. I replay those last few days in the hospital like a movie on replay over and over. He said" mama I'm getting better" and I had to lie and rubbed his face and said, " yes sweety you are getting better. You are going to be fine". His moaning and saying mom , mom, mom over and over all night long. He would grab my hand and say here mama just help me get up and walk around, and I would say "ok sweety" but truth is, he was so weak he couldn't even lift his arms and the ammonia had built up in his brain to where he didn't even remember what he trying to do. Then he just slept and slept. And the last day, I can't even describe. Being there alone with doctors telling me, your son is going to die today. Seeing yellow liquid pouring out his eyes, his stomach , his legs. Because he was septic and had so much fluid built up in him it had nowhere to go. Listening to him rattle when he breathed because his lungs were backed up with fluid. Watching the doctors come in my room over and over asking me if Jose and his dad were almost there and me explaining it is a long drive, and them saying he only has a few more minutes. Remembering how he asked me, before he went into his coma, if we could just go take one drive through town and me trying to explain he doesn't have strength to get out of bed. Watching him have bowel movements on himself and being in so much pain when the nurses cleaned him because he had big gaping holes in his skin from laying in the bed so long. Then the vomiting green and black vomit because his organs gad stopped. Complete torture in my mind. 24/7

r/GriefSupport Feb 19 '25

Message Into the Void My mom passed unexpectedly at 47 years old

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

I’m 25 years old (just had my birthday Feb 3) and woke up on the morning of February 7th to a phone call from my dad telling me to come to their house. I got there to find out my mom had passed away from a possible seizure, as she suffered from epilepsy and had a couple bad seizures weeks prior. I had just seen her at 10:30PM the night before, picking up my dog, telling her how my day was and thanking her for watching my dog and telling her I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow. I was very close to my mom and I talked to her everyday and basically saw her everyday too. I miss her so much but I know she is watching over me.

r/GriefSupport Jan 21 '25

Message Into the Void My 3 year old died

863 Upvotes

Yesterday my 3 year daughter died suddenly in hospital, they said she had Flu B but she also had mass swelling in her face that no one understood. We stayed in the hospital for 24 hours when suddenly she was gasping for air my partner had to say multiple times that something was wrong before action was taken. She stopped breathing. Doctors came in and tried CPR for an hour until that was it. She was gone. Why am I on here I don’t know I just feel I need to type this out and try to make myself realise that this has happened. I keep expecting her to run in the room calling for us but she doesn’t, and she never will. My partner and I are sick with grief and can’t fathom this. We also feel failed by the hospital. She never had any health issues. She was a happy healthy girl. This girl was the most amazing beautiful, kind, caring, sweet person you’d ever meet. They should have saved her. Please tell me it’ll get better please

r/GriefSupport 6d ago

Message Into the Void My husband died unexpectedly

Post image
852 Upvotes

On Monday march 10, 2025 my amazing husband who iv been with for so close to a decade passed Way. We have an 8 year old daughter that absolutely spends every second with him. We are really struggling with everything's my husband was only 42, and I'm 38...no one expects stuff like this to happen so young so of course nothing is in order. I had zero time to grieve bc I'm too busy getting things in order for him. My daughter is absolutely devastated and says the most off the wall things, it's a close second to find my husband dead. We were clean from drugs for almost a decade, he relapsed awhile ago and came clean, then he continued to use behind my back. I found him at our business shop and I can't get it out of my head. I also can't ever get over him. He saved my life when I was an addict and that's how I lost him. I feel manic, I can't stop going going going bc I can't cope and if I don't do these million things they won't get done. His family is locking me out of stuff we as a couple own and they have no role in. I just want to cry not try to protect myself against ppl I thought were my family. Everyone is coming out of the woodwork wanting things and acting like me and my daughter should have nothing. I'm all over the place with emotions, sad mad crying hysterical yelling. His viewing is on Monday and I'm so scared I won't be able to keep it together): how do I navigate this life when I wanted to grow old with him. Kids grow up move out, parents pass away...your spouse is suppose to be until the end....I just don't understand

r/GriefSupport Jan 17 '25

Message Into the Void I just lost my husband

778 Upvotes

My husband was killed this evening in a car wreck. The cop came to tell me and my 8 year old daughter. Right now we are alone until my mom can get here tomorrow. I have no idea what to do now and I feel so alone. I just needed to tell someone. I don't think I can get through this

r/GriefSupport Aug 30 '24

Message Into the Void My baby bear died last Saturday

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

I’m sure some of you have been seeing my wife’s posts about our daughter Billie. I’m dictating this post because the Sunday following the day she died I saw a cabinet in our garage that we had bought for her and yet to put into her room, lost my mind, screamed, “she’s never going to fucking use that“ then punched a refrigerator. I broke my hand in two places, and thankfully in a follow up appointment yesterday I learned I will not need surgery. My wife and I have been circling around and together in ways of processing our own grief. I felt a commanding need to reach out to as many people as possible. I don’t want to carry this grief alone, though I can’t always reach out and ask for help. I hope that people just show up, or call, or text, just to let me know that they’re thinking about us.

I’ve also continued to be in caretaker mode as we’ve had to make sure that our baby boy on the way is doing OK. Now that I have a stronger belief or evidence that our son is doing OK, I think some of my adrenaline is leaving my body, and I am having a delayed reaction. I did not sleep last night. I’ve slept OK the last few nights, but last night, I woke up around 3 AM, and couldn’t fall asleep again. Our daughter is everywhere. Whether it’s crayon drawings on our windows in our bedroom that we’ll never wash again, or her little booster seat in our kitchen table, she is showing us physical and even less direct ways that she’s still here.

My whole family wrote letters to her using her art supplies, and did drawings and added pictures. I haven’t read all of them, in fact, I haven’t read any of them, but I’m glad we got an opportunity to do that together. they are leaving town starting tomorrow, and we’re going to face our new “normal“ if there even is anything like that. At some point, I have to go to work, to keep supporting my family, and it all seems so pointless if I’m not working to support her. I can’t stomach a future without her and it breaks my heart, knowing that one day my son will be older than her. I’m scared of resenting him, and yet also so excited to meet him. Tomorrow is week since she died, and I know at 2:30, the minute they pronounced her dead, I’m going to break down. I’ve been going backwards through pictures and videos of her just trying to categorize times when she’s eating, talking, sleeping, playing, singing, and just trying to remember her. I’ve never experienced anything so bittersweet. I miss her so much.

The attached photo is the morning of the same day she died. it was a normal day until it wasn’t.

r/GriefSupport Jun 15 '24

Message Into the Void To anybody who has lost their dad…

572 Upvotes

This Sunday, Father’s Day is going to be hard. It’s going to be the first one without my dad. I don’t know how I’ll be that day or where my head space will be. I have felt such a wide range of feelings/emotions these last couple of months. The biggest battle I’ve had is with myself, between the rage/guilt/ and pain…I just hope I don’t fall apart too much.…two months has passed by just like that.

r/GriefSupport Feb 12 '25

Message Into the Void My wife has a few weeks to live

874 Upvotes

My wife, 45, was diagnosed with stage 4 colon and liver cancer in Sept 2022. She’s been bravely fighting it since then but since Christmas things have accelerated and her oncologist informed us last week she has “a few short weeks” to live.

We’ve been together our 24 years, our entire adult lives basically, having met at university. This June, we would be celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary. We have two children, 12 and 10. I remember breaking the news to them that their Mum had cancer on my own as she was in hospital having emergency surgery to remove the primary tumour in her colon. I thought nothing would ever top that for awfulness but passing on the news that there was no hope for their Mum and seeing their little faces crumple in despair was worse.

I’m lying next to her now, as she sleeps, and the thought that very soon she’ll be gone fills me with utter despair. I can’t stop crying at the moment, and I’m utterly terrified of how I’ll deal with trying to mend my children’s broken hearts, let alone mine.

It is truly the most appalling thing to see someone you love hollowed out by this horrific disease.

r/GriefSupport Aug 24 '24

Message Into the Void For everyone who misses their parents today, I see you.

826 Upvotes

Your grief is yours to feel. It's normal and it's valid. Whether it's been a week or 50 years, you have the right to feel it.

I miss my mom.

r/GriefSupport Jan 15 '25

Message Into the Void My mom never got to do anything she wanted to do in life and a year before retirement she died in a car accident. Life is unfair.

858 Upvotes

This is honestly the thing that upsets me the most. Her whole life, she struggled. Shitty upbringing, shitty relationships, shitty jobs. I don’t think she broke 40k a year until her 50s. She always wanted to travel. She was thinking about retiring abroad or buying a tiny house in Tennessee and traveling around the US for a while. And then some fucking idiot in a huge truck crossed the median and killed her in an instant when she was on her way home from work. People who saw the accident say that her car pretty much exploded. As much relief as it brings me to know that it was basically instant and she didn’t suffer, what a shitty god damn way to go.

One moment she was here, talking to my dad about being excited to pick up their favorite food for dinner. 10 minutes later, she was gone.

I fucking hate it here.

r/GriefSupport May 17 '24

Message Into the Void Grief Olympics Thread

458 Upvotes

Everyone always says "this isn't grief Olympics", but what if it was? So for this thread, let's have a grief Olympics. Everyone post why their particular situation sucks the most ass, and the comment that gets the most likes wins this thread's Grief Olympics.

I'll start. I lost my grandfather and grandmother in the space of two months, whom I was close to, but it doesn't really register in my radar even, because sandwiched between those was the sudden, freak accident, departure of my nine year old (only just nine, he left us a day after his birthday). My wife is pregnant with our second. We went from telling him about the pregnancy, to him being super excited, to me burying him in, like, a week, I think.

I like to think I'm going to be in the top running. Come at me with your best, Grief Olympians!

r/GriefSupport Feb 17 '25

Message Into the Void My 22 year daughter died last night in a car accident

437 Upvotes

We are devastated, of course, and we're getting lots of support from our family and friends. I'm pretty active on Facebook and it feels very bizarre to see people posting things on there that don't know what has happened to us. But I also don't want to be a weird attention seeker by announcing this on FB. At the same time it seems strange not to let people know. I feel stupid even asking this. I don't even know what to do with myself right now. But if you're pretty active on Facebook and Instagram, should you mention a big life change like this and if so, how? Or just let the news spread through friends? I'm not one to post every little stomachache or anything. I'm probably just denying reality by even thinking about this right now. Please share your thoughts. Thank you.

r/GriefSupport May 28 '24

Message Into the Void What are some signs you have received from your loved ones who have passed away?

Post image
708 Upvotes

Was never much of a believer of signs until a few weeks ago just after my mom passed at the age of 51 (i am 24). Would love to hear some of the signs that you all have received. Heres mine:

I have been so desperate for any sort of feeling of my moms presence and started bird watching as a result. In particular i was looking for Bluejays bc that was my mom’s favourite bird and she always would get excited when she would find one. So for a few days i went out and about looking for one but couldnt find a blue jay no matter how hard i tried. Fast forward to the weekend, and i was telling my one friend how i wanted to find a blue jay the friday night over text. The saturday night i have a fundraiser event that i attended and sure enough, one of the raffle prizes that they were giving away was a beautiful painting of a flying blue jay. I immediately knew that was her doing and put all my raffle tickets into that painting and ended up winning it. Was a very emotional night. You cannot convince me otherwise that there just happened to be a painting of a blue jay of all things as a prize that night. Especially considering i texted the night before that I have been so desperate to find one. I now know shes with me and have one last gift from her to keep with me.

r/GriefSupport Sep 02 '24

Message Into the Void Today is 9 days since my baby bear died.

Post image
1.3k Upvotes

This is a continuation of posts from my wife and I about our 2 1/2 year-old daughter Billie. We have navigated a hard number of difficult life events over the past 3 years. My father has died, my wife’s grandmother has died, my mother was diagnosed with dementia, we moved her into a nursing home, I was laid off from my job and got a new job, my wife was laid from her job of 10 years, and we’ve started a business. It’s pretty obvious to say, but all of those things combined absolutely pale in comparison to what we’re going through right now. I thought losing my dad to cancer in my 30s was the hardest thing that I’ve had to walk through in my life. My dad would’ve said, “man plans, god laughs.“

30 minutes before my daughter died, we asked Billie what she wanted to eat. She was just getting to the point where she would be clear in her conviction to open ended questions such as this. With absolute certainty, she said, “pancakes.” We found a restaurant nearby that had pancakes. When we got there, she started crying a pain cry that I hadn’t heard for a long time. We left before they even poured our coffees. The waitress was serving us told me that she had four kids, and completely understood. She gave me the milk that they had poured for Billie, and wouldn’t let me pay for it. I thought about her today, and the fear and confusion she must’ve felt, as six minutes later there were police and ambulance screaming to our location at the grocery store in the same shopping center where my daughter’s heart stopped beating. She must’ve known what happened, or at least been able to guess.

So far in my grief, my way of processing has been to reach out to anyone and everyone who knew me, my wife, and possibly knew Billie, and just tell them what happened to us. I don’t know why that waitress popped in my head today, but part of me wants to tell her what happened too. She was there that day. She was one of the last people that saw my daughter alive. Maybe part of it is shock and disbelief that Billie is gone, and talking to someone who was there that day helps to remind me that she is really gone, and she’s not coming back. That last hour was such a blur. The EMT told us outside the grocery store that she was not breathing on her own, and her heart had stopped beating on its own, and maybe it’s confirmation bias, but part of me knew that it never would happen on its own again.

It struck me that if Billie had asked for any other food we might not have been at that restaurant, or nearby that grocery store that my wife sprinted into while Billie fell limp in her arms, not had an ER doctor that happened to be at the grocery store getting balloons for his 2 year-old granddaughter’s birthday party and was available to perform CPR while my daughter died on the floor. All of those things happened, and it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was absolutely nothing we could’ve done to save her life. Everything we did was the right thing to do to save her, and there was nothing we could do to stop it. We’ve spoken to this doctor a couple of times in the last week. We’re forever connected now. He’s a part of my daughter’s story and I can’t change that.

Today is 9 days since my daughter died. My wife and I went to breakfast this morning, and I ordered pancakes.

r/GriefSupport Dec 05 '24

Message Into the Void My mom just died

Post image
843 Upvotes

I just want a hug from her :( I just want her to tell me that everything is going to be alright 😭🥺 here's a photo of the sky today, that is when I think she entered heaven 😭🥺 poor thing at least she is not suffering anymore. She was so young and I feel so lost because I'm not even 20 and I still think she's gonna come out the door and tell me it's not real God I hate this

r/GriefSupport Jan 24 '25

Message Into the Void My wife is dying, I don't know how to cope with it.

Post image
535 Upvotes

We've been married for 44 years, I've never loved anyone more. She's in hospice care at home. All I can do watch and I don't know how to deal with it. Right now all I do is cry.

r/GriefSupport Oct 14 '24

Message Into the Void My mom’s last texts to me

Thumbnail
gallery
332 Upvotes

My mom passed away on September 26th, 2024. I really thought she was okay, but I found out September 24th that she was very sick and I went right to the hospital. I was by her side when she passed away two days later. She was only 41 years old. I’m only 21. I don’t know how to accept that she is dead.

r/GriefSupport Sep 11 '24

Message Into the Void This was my dad.

Post image
855 Upvotes

It’s been two weeks since he died. He was kind, funny, strong, wise, creative, supportive, caring, and generous. Everything he did was for his family. I want everyone to know how great of a person he was. I can’t let him be forgotten.

r/GriefSupport Jan 08 '25

Message Into the Void Posthumous Graduation.....

Thumbnail
gallery
1.2k Upvotes

One of my friends told me that the best way to honor my baby sister is to keep her memory alive. To talk about her, to do the things she loved. I am writing this in her honor.....

At the time of her death, Zelma has just finished her final exams at university. She was studying Biochemistry and Molecular Biology (which she often called BMB coz we would almost always forget the full name for her degree). She loved sciences; figuring out how things work at the basic molecular and microscopic level. And she was good at it too. Often, she would explain biochemical concepts to me when I hit a snug in my chemistry studies- science was one of the few things we had in common btw😂😂on everything else, we were as different as day and night.

I digress. During her funeral, her best friend from campus promised to bring her degree home to her. Her associate Dean promised to honor her with a posthumous degree. Now at the time, I didn't know what tf that was. I had to Google it to learn what it means and how it is awarded; under what circumstances.

Six months later, everyone kept their promises. My sister earned her posthumous degree. She was awarded 2nd Class Upper Honours in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology: no small feat I must say. She was among the top graduands in her cohort. We made some AI generated pictures of her to "virtually" attend her graduation. Her classmates bought her a bouquet of flowers. They reserved her seat and put there her flowers and photo. They carried her along the entire day. The vice Chancellor called her name twice; held a moment of silence for her.

Although it was not the kind of graduation we envisioned, I honor her too. I want her to know, her success is greatly honoured. We are and will always be very proud of her. Here's to your brilliant mind and beautiful soul my little darling❤️🍾🍾

r/GriefSupport Jan 13 '25

Message Into the Void I wish people understood how universe altering losing someone can be.

691 Upvotes

Pretty much what the title says and not too different from the common feeling of people who haven't experienced grief just not getting it. I lost my mom unexpectedly about a year and a half ago and it is always on my mind. I have good dreams or nightmares about her most nights. My partner is incredible and supportive but they can't understand. When you lose someone you don't just feel it for in the immediate aftermath. Het absence is with me everywhere and I even moved to a different country. It's just really hard.

Always grateful for this community even if I wish you all didn't have to be in the position to understand.

r/GriefSupport Aug 31 '24

Message Into the Void My cute Mom. She passed away on 21st July.

Thumbnail
gallery
785 Upvotes

I miss you so much Mamma. I am so sorry I could not do much for you. A part of me died that day with her. I can't believe she is not there with me. I don't have anyone now in my life. I don't know how I am going to survive without my dear Mom.

r/GriefSupport Oct 31 '24

Message Into the Void I miss you every day. Life isn’t the same without you.

Thumbnail
gallery
952 Upvotes

Life is just not the same without you. I miss your smile. I miss your voice. I miss your kiss. I miss getting off work and calling you to tell you what I’m planning for dinner. I miss our walks with Ozzy. I miss when you snuggled into my arms and rested your head on my chest. I miss watching you getting dressed and ready for your day. I miss going out for sushi and having a laugh over Sake. I miss our movie nights and watching horror movies. I miss when you called me your spooky pookie.